For those of you that may have missed it, the trailer for the new Harry Potter film was released a few days ago. Simply jaw-dropping. Got me thinking about a bunch of upcoming movies that have me excited. But instead of explain them in great detail to ya'll, I think you'll get a better idea for why I pumped by watching their trailers. So, here are the trailers from the movies on the horizon that have me really excited.
Little Fockers
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1672152601/
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1638598169/
The Green Hornet
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi616236569/
Megamind
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3915712281/
Salt
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi1651574553/
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi983893529/
Inception
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi2165180185/
**BONUS ROUND**: First images of the costume designs for the Captain America (starring Chris Evans) and Thor (starring Chris Hemsworth) movies (note- these are computer generated concepts using the actors' faces, so that's why they look a bit stange):
http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/capam1LARGEUSE.jpg
http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/capam2LARGEUSE.jpg
http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/capam3LARGEUSE.jpg
http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/capam4LARGEUSE.jpg
http://www.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/thor_concept_art_chris_hemsworth_01.jpg
http://www.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/thor_concept_art_chris_hemsworth_02.jpg
6.24.2010
Futurama Week, Post #3: Episode Spotting
It is the third and final day of Futurama Week here at PopREX, so it is time for the last Futurama-themed article: a selection of The Spot's favorite episodes. And don't forget: the new season "Futurama" premieres tonight, 6/24/10, at 10pm on Comedy Central.
The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings
Plot: In an attempt to win Leela's heart, Fry begins learning how to play the holophonor, a musical instrument which translates the notes being played into vibrant visual images. His progress is too slow, so he decides to make a deal with Robot Devil to exchange hands with one robot chosen completely at random. Out of pure chance, however, that robot ends up being none other then the Robot Devil himself. The two exchange hands, and equipped with his new bionic appendages, Fry quickly becomes the best holophonor player in the world. He decides to use his new-found talents to write an opera about Leela's life in an effort to woo her. In the meantime, however, the Robot Devil sets in motion a convoluted string of events which end up with Leela promising him her hands--in marriage, that is. The episode culminates in a musical conflict between Fry and the Robot Devil, and Fry eventually decides to give him back his hands to prevent the Robot Devil from marrying Leela, thus foreclosing any chance Fry may have at a future relationship with her. With his old, fleshy hands back in place, Fry is no longer able to play the holophonor, and his opera crashes and burns. However, at its end, only one viewer remains in the audience: an emotionally moved Leela.
Why it Made the List: This episode is one of may favorites for many reasons. First, Hedonismbot gets major face-time in it, which is always a plus. Second, the musical number at the end of the episode is not only funny, but well written and actually very catchy. Finally, this episode was intended as the original series finale of the show, and the warm moment at the end between Fry and Leela stands in nice contrast to her usual rejection of him.
Favorite Quotes:
Plot: After a loud explosion, Professor Farnsworth addresses the Planet Express crew while holding a yellow cardboard box. He explains that the box contains his most dangerous creation to date, and it must be destroyed by throwing it into the sun. In the meantime, however, he forbids the crew from looking inside the box, and orders Leela to guard it. She eventually succumbs to temptation after a coin flip, and takes a peek inside. What she finds in the box is a parallel universe in which the results of coin-flips come out the opposite way (resulting in some minor differences between the characters). Eventually, all of the Planet Express crew members from Universe A (except for Hermes-A) make their way into the parallel universe (labeled Universe 1), and fearing that their doppelgangers are evil, are ordered to spend time with their counterparts to ensure they can be trusted. When the two Zoidbergs get together, however, they agree that they are fed up with being treated poorly by the other crew members, and scheme to steal the blue cardboard box which contains Universe A. Farnsworth-A soon realizes that the Universe A crew must return home before Hermes-A throws the box into the sun, thus completely destroying Universe 1 and everyone in it. The two crews are then forced to pursue the two Zoidbergs through a series of unlabeled cardboard boxes containing other strange universes (such as one where no one has any faces and one where everyone is a robot) until they locate the original blue box and are able to return home just in time.
Why it Made the List: This episode functions as both a great contained incident of hilarity and an example of how the show makes use of many science-fiction cliches in unique and comedic ways. Also, when the crew jumps into Universe 420 and find hippie Farnsworth, and Farnsworth-A tells him to get a job; priceless.
Favorite Quotes:
Love's Labors Lost in Space
Plot: Professor Farnsworth sends Bender, Fry, and Leela on a mission to Vergon 6, a hollowed-out planet destine to collapse upon itself. The teams directive is to collect two of each animal from the dying planet, a la Noah's Ark. When the crew arrives, however, they find the planet surrounded by the Democratic Order of Planets (DOOP) military, led by the misogynistic and incompetent Zapp Brannigan. The crew boards Brannigan's ship and explain their mission. Brannigan does not let them proceed, however, explaining that DOOP does not allow interference with underdeveloped planets (even though it was DOOP that hollowed out Vergon 6 in the first place). When Leela tries to defy Brannigan's order, he throws the crew in prison. At night, Zapp summons Leela to his chambers, where she rebuffs his poor attempts at seduction. Zapp then breaks down crying, saying that he feels lonely in his job and that he had hoped Leela, a fellow captain, would understand. Overcome with pity, Leela eventually has sex with Zapp, but wakes up the next morning in horror after she realizes what has happened. In return, Zapp releases the crew and allows them to travel to Vergon 6, believing that Leela will crawl back to him. The team heads to the planet and begins rounding up animals, including a cute three-eyed alien who Leela names Nibbler and takes home as her pet. Suddenly, the planet begins to collapse, and Leela is forced to begrudgingly ask Brannigan for help escaping.
Why it Made the List: As mentioned in yesterday's article, Zapp Brannigan is quite possibly the most hilarious character on the show. And the scenes between him and Leela in this episode are some of the funniest in the entire history of the show. Also, this episode introduces Nibbler, who becomes and important character in future episodes (such as "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid" below).
Favorite Quotes:
Plot: While on a mission in space, the Plane Express crew stop at a truck-stop, where Fry purchases an egg salad sandwich from a vending machine in the bathroom. Later, back on Earth, Fry and Bender are injured while fixing a boiler which explodes. However, Fry's wounds heal miraculously quickly, and a medical examination reveals that he has contracted an infestation of microscopic worms from the egg salad, which repaired him. The other members of the crew use tiny robotic clones of themselves to enter Fry's body and eliminate the worms while Leela distracts him. She soon realize that worms are doing Fry a wealth of good, making him stronger, smarter and more sensitive--everything she wants in a man. She decides to send herself into Fry's body and stop the crew before they can reach his pelvic splanchnic ganglion and force him to evacuate the worms from his system. She succeeds, and returns to the new and improved Fry. However, a slip of the tongue informs Fry of what has been going on, and realizing that Leela is only in love with him because of his worms, he sends a mini-robot of himself into his body to deal with the worms once and for all.
Why it Made the List: This is another great example of how this show takes science-fiction cliches and turns them on their heads, and is great spoof of the classic Sci-Fi film "The Fantastic Voyage." This episodes also contain a lot of funny set-pieces, like the statute of Fry the worms created within his bowels labeled "The Known Universe."
Favorite Quotes:
The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Plot: The Plane Express crew discovers an odd pattern of destroyed planets, leading right to Earth. Upon hearing this news, Leela's pet Nibbler begins to yip uncontrollably, and runs away. Leela gives chase down an alley, but she is ambushed by a gang of giant floating alien brains. Nibbler comes to her rescue in a tiny rocket ship, and two fly off towards the Hall of Eternium on Nibbler's home planet. Upon arriving, Leela is introduced to a council of highly intelligent Nibblonians, who explain that they have been warring with the evil Brainspawn for thousands of years. They tell Leela that the brains use a "power of stupidity" to make all the inhabitants of a planet incredibly stupid, resulting in that world's eventual destruction. They further explain that there is only one person capable of withstanding the Brainspawn's powers: Fry, as he lacks the necessary "Delta brainwave," rendering him innately stupid and thus completely immune to the "power of stupidity." Nibbler was sent to Earth to ensure Fry's safety and success in defeating the brains, and now it is Leela's job to return to Earth, inform Fry of his destiny, and conquer the Brainspawn once and for all. Back on Earth, Fry cant figure out why everyone is acting so stupid. Once Leela reenters Earth's atmosphere, she also becomes braindead, but somehow retains enough intellect to relay the message to Fry. The episode culminates in an epic battle between Fry and the Brainspawn leader at--where else--the public library.
Why it Made the List: This episode is a good example of how "Futurama" can often times retain serial elements, as its storyline is a continuation of "Love's Labors Lost in Space," and a sets up future episodes like "Roswell that Ends Well" and "The Why of Fry." Also, watching the already dumb Earthicans act even stupider once the Brainspawn arrive is a true treat.
Favorite Quotes:
The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings
Why it Made the List: This episode is one of may favorites for many reasons. First, Hedonismbot gets major face-time in it, which is always a plus. Second, the musical number at the end of the episode is not only funny, but well written and actually very catchy. Finally, this episode was intended as the original series finale of the show, and the warm moment at the end between Fry and Leela stands in nice contrast to her usual rejection of him.
Favorite Quotes:
- Bender: Sure, I can help you, but we might have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil, and by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
- Robot Devil: [drops to his knees, staring at Fry's fleshy hands] Oh, give me back my hands! These things are always touching me in... places.
Fry: Heh, yeah, they get around.
Plot: After a loud explosion, Professor Farnsworth addresses the Planet Express crew while holding a yellow cardboard box. He explains that the box contains his most dangerous creation to date, and it must be destroyed by throwing it into the sun. In the meantime, however, he forbids the crew from looking inside the box, and orders Leela to guard it. She eventually succumbs to temptation after a coin flip, and takes a peek inside. What she finds in the box is a parallel universe in which the results of coin-flips come out the opposite way (resulting in some minor differences between the characters). Eventually, all of the Planet Express crew members from Universe A (except for Hermes-A) make their way into the parallel universe (labeled Universe 1), and fearing that their doppelgangers are evil, are ordered to spend time with their counterparts to ensure they can be trusted. When the two Zoidbergs get together, however, they agree that they are fed up with being treated poorly by the other crew members, and scheme to steal the blue cardboard box which contains Universe A. Farnsworth-A soon realizes that the Universe A crew must return home before Hermes-A throws the box into the sun, thus completely destroying Universe 1 and everyone in it. The two crews are then forced to pursue the two Zoidbergs through a series of unlabeled cardboard boxes containing other strange universes (such as one where no one has any faces and one where everyone is a robot) until they locate the original blue box and are able to return home just in time.Why it Made the List: This episode functions as both a great contained incident of hilarity and an example of how the show makes use of many science-fiction cliches in unique and comedic ways. Also, when the crew jumps into Universe 420 and find hippie Farnsworth, and Farnsworth-A tells him to get a job; priceless.
Favorite Quotes:
- Leela-1: Fine, you be crummy Universe "A", and we'll be Universe "1".
Fry-1: Yeah, or the Mongooses, that's a good team name. "The Fighting Mongooses." - Fry-A: Oh wow, it's like that drug trip I saw in that movie while I was on that drug trip.
- Farnsworth 420: Dig it! All of you living in this box is like seriously freaked up!
Farnsworth-A: Nonsense. There's a whole universe in there.
Farnsworth 420: Dude, there's a universe in all of us.
Love's Labors Lost in Space
Plot: Professor Farnsworth sends Bender, Fry, and Leela on a mission to Vergon 6, a hollowed-out planet destine to collapse upon itself. The teams directive is to collect two of each animal from the dying planet, a la Noah's Ark. When the crew arrives, however, they find the planet surrounded by the Democratic Order of Planets (DOOP) military, led by the misogynistic and incompetent Zapp Brannigan. The crew boards Brannigan's ship and explain their mission. Brannigan does not let them proceed, however, explaining that DOOP does not allow interference with underdeveloped planets (even though it was DOOP that hollowed out Vergon 6 in the first place). When Leela tries to defy Brannigan's order, he throws the crew in prison. At night, Zapp summons Leela to his chambers, where she rebuffs his poor attempts at seduction. Zapp then breaks down crying, saying that he feels lonely in his job and that he had hoped Leela, a fellow captain, would understand. Overcome with pity, Leela eventually has sex with Zapp, but wakes up the next morning in horror after she realizes what has happened. In return, Zapp releases the crew and allows them to travel to Vergon 6, believing that Leela will crawl back to him. The team heads to the planet and begins rounding up animals, including a cute three-eyed alien who Leela names Nibbler and takes home as her pet. Suddenly, the planet begins to collapse, and Leela is forced to begrudgingly ask Brannigan for help escaping.Why it Made the List: As mentioned in yesterday's article, Zapp Brannigan is quite possibly the most hilarious character on the show. And the scenes between him and Leela in this episode are some of the funniest in the entire history of the show. Also, this episode introduces Nibbler, who becomes and important character in future episodes (such as "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid" below).
Favorite Quotes:
- Zapp Brannigan: You want the rest of the cham-paggin?
Leela: No, and it's pronounced "cham-pain". - Zapp: In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.
- Zapp: So, crawling back to the big Z like a bird on its belly. Delicious.
Leela: Birds don't crawl.
Zapp: They'd been known to.
Plot: While on a mission in space, the Plane Express crew stop at a truck-stop, where Fry purchases an egg salad sandwich from a vending machine in the bathroom. Later, back on Earth, Fry and Bender are injured while fixing a boiler which explodes. However, Fry's wounds heal miraculously quickly, and a medical examination reveals that he has contracted an infestation of microscopic worms from the egg salad, which repaired him. The other members of the crew use tiny robotic clones of themselves to enter Fry's body and eliminate the worms while Leela distracts him. She soon realize that worms are doing Fry a wealth of good, making him stronger, smarter and more sensitive--everything she wants in a man. She decides to send herself into Fry's body and stop the crew before they can reach his pelvic splanchnic ganglion and force him to evacuate the worms from his system. She succeeds, and returns to the new and improved Fry. However, a slip of the tongue informs Fry of what has been going on, and realizing that Leela is only in love with him because of his worms, he sends a mini-robot of himself into his body to deal with the worms once and for all.Why it Made the List: This is another great example of how this show takes science-fiction cliches and turns them on their heads, and is great spoof of the classic Sci-Fi film "The Fantastic Voyage." This episodes also contain a lot of funny set-pieces, like the statute of Fry the worms created within his bowels labeled "The Known Universe."
Favorite Quotes:
- Leela: You're not going to eat a sandwich from a truck stop men's room, are you?
Fry: Eh, what's the worst thing that could happen? [Takes a bite] Ugh, it's like a party in my mouth, and everyone's throwing up. - Hermes: [Cruising around Fry's muscles] Soon he'll be stronger and more flexible than Hercules and Gumby combined!
Zoidberg: Gumbercules? I love that guy! - Zoidberg: [scrapes cholesterol off Fry's artery] It's good cholesterol, but it spreads like bad cholesterol.
Plot: The Plane Express crew discovers an odd pattern of destroyed planets, leading right to Earth. Upon hearing this news, Leela's pet Nibbler begins to yip uncontrollably, and runs away. Leela gives chase down an alley, but she is ambushed by a gang of giant floating alien brains. Nibbler comes to her rescue in a tiny rocket ship, and two fly off towards the Hall of Eternium on Nibbler's home planet. Upon arriving, Leela is introduced to a council of highly intelligent Nibblonians, who explain that they have been warring with the evil Brainspawn for thousands of years. They tell Leela that the brains use a "power of stupidity" to make all the inhabitants of a planet incredibly stupid, resulting in that world's eventual destruction. They further explain that there is only one person capable of withstanding the Brainspawn's powers: Fry, as he lacks the necessary "Delta brainwave," rendering him innately stupid and thus completely immune to the "power of stupidity." Nibbler was sent to Earth to ensure Fry's safety and success in defeating the brains, and now it is Leela's job to return to Earth, inform Fry of his destiny, and conquer the Brainspawn once and for all. Back on Earth, Fry cant figure out why everyone is acting so stupid. Once Leela reenters Earth's atmosphere, she also becomes braindead, but somehow retains enough intellect to relay the message to Fry. The episode culminates in an epic battle between Fry and the Brainspawn leader at--where else--the public library.
Why it Made the List: This episode is a good example of how "Futurama" can often times retain serial elements, as its storyline is a continuation of "Love's Labors Lost in Space," and a sets up future episodes like "Roswell that Ends Well" and "The Why of Fry." Also, watching the already dumb Earthicans act even stupider once the Brainspawn arrive is a true treat.
Favorite Quotes:
- Fry: Come on, Fry, think. Thinking... thinking...
Chief Giant Brain: Oh, Stop that!
Fry: Hey, thinking hurts them! Maybe I can think of a way to use that. - Fry: Doctor Zoidberg, why is everyone acting so weird?
Dr. Zoidberg: Zoidbie want balloon! Want balloon now! Zoidbie want go outside!
Fry: But I just let you in! - Farnsworth: Duh, I know, let's play the lottery.
Amy: No, let's buy internet stock.
Dr. Zoidberg: On margin. Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.
Hermes: [holding a board in front of his face] Look at me. I'm invisible.
Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.
Bender: Hey, let's all join the Reform party.
Everyone: Yeah.
- "Time Keeps on Slipping"
- "The Sting"
- "Godfellas"
- "Fry and the Slurm Factory"
6.23.2010
Futurama Week, Post #2: Character Spotting
It is day 2 of Futurama Week here at PopREX, and that means it is time for The Spot's favorite secondary characters. Now, the way I see it, there are four main characters on the show: Fry, Leela, Bender, and Professor Farnsworth. These four characters make up the heart and soul of the Planet Express delivery crew, and generally get the most face time on the show. And while other crew members like Amy and Hermes make their way into most episodes, I have decided that all characters other than Fry, Leela, Bender, and Farnsworth are fair game for this list. So then, without further ado, let the character spotting begin!
Dr. Zoidberg
Some may argue that Dr. Zoidberg is too central a character to qualify for this list. However, I have decided to not care what those people think, mainly because ever since I watched my first episode of "Futurama," I immediately knew that Zoidberg was my favorite character. The only alien member of the Planet Express crew, Zoidberg is the company's medical specialist. However, the term "specialist" should be used lightly. Most of Zoidberg's attempts at medicine act as demonstrations of his lack of knowledge regarding the human anatomy, such as his assumption that Fry is missing a dorsal fin and should have more than one mouth. To add to the hilarity, he is quite poor and appears to be homeless, jumping at the chance to consume any type of food whatsoever (more often that not, garbage). Zoidberg is also the Planet Express crew's perennial punching bag, constantly taking the blame when things go wrong. He is the show's biggest underdog, and is lovable for that reasons alone. But for all we know about Dr. Zoidberg, there are many questions that remain unanswered, such as: Did he ever really graduate from medical school? Probably not. Is he Jewish? Who knows. Does he really have a cousin named Zoidfarb? One can only assume. Does he like to scuttle around like a crab? You bet!
Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan is probably the most popular recurring character among casual and die hard "Futurama" fans alike. Brannigan is a high ranking officer of the Democratic Order of Planets (DOOP) military, and captain of the Nimbus spaceship. He is also completely incompetent, terribly misogynistic, unreasonably cocky, and perhaps even a bit bi-curious. Normally, such a character would make up for his mental shortcomings with an excess of brawn. Unfortunately for Zapp, he is also overweight and out of shape (and the short red velor uniform/dress he wears doesn't leave much to the imagination). Luckily, Zapp is too stupid to truly recognize his shortcomings. Instead, he spends most of his days sending his loyal troops on suicide missions, trying to win the heart of Leela, mispronouncing words like "champagne" (sham-pag-en) and "guacamole" (gwak-uh-mole), mixing metaphors, and generally making life for his melancholy lieutenant Kif Kroker completely and totally miserable. Here's hoping Zapp's exploits (sexual and otherwise) continue into the new season.
Hedonismbot
I have to agree with FatFat McWhoDat on this one. Hedonismbot is one of the most hilarious and tragically underutilized characters on "Futurama." He also represents the true wackiness and absurdity underlying every episode of the show. As described in yesterday's articles, Hedonismbot is the robot embodiment of the hedonism school of ethics, which believes pleasure is the only intrinsic good. Thus Hedonismbot lives in constant decadence and overdoes just about everything. For example, he is made of solid gold, is constantly in a reclining position, and spends most of his time feeding grapes to himself off of his bulbous stomach (when he isn't being painted with chocolate icing, of course). But the true absurdity of Hedonismbot presents itself when you try and imagine the purpose for which he was created. You see, most of the robots in the "Futurama" universe seem to have been created with some job in mind (though not all follow their designated career path). Bender, for example, was designed to bend girders. Dr. Perceptron was built to diagnose and treat criminally insane robots. Trying to figure out exactly how or why Hedonismbot was created is a much more challenging task, and I think that is part of why the character is so hilarious.
Lrrr and Nd-Nd
As king and queen of the planet Omicron Persei 8, Lrrr and Nd-Nd pose the greatest threat to Earth, and have invaded the planet on many occasions. However, in reality, Lrrr and Nd-Nd are much like the older married Earthican couples, just much bigger, greener, and uglier. In fact, most of the conflicts between Earth and the Omicronians are grounded in some simple cultural misunderstandings. For example, in the episode "When Aliens Attack," Lrrr and Nd-Nd wage war on Earth when the show "Single Female Lawyer" (a spoof of "Alley Mcbeal") suddenly goes off the air, when in reality it had been off the air for over 1000 years, but the signal was reaching Omicron Persei 8 on an extremely long delay. Lrrr and Nd-Nd have also shown their softer side on a few occasions, and at one point became completely smitten after being introduced to Big Foot, finding the lumbering beast to be irresistibly cute. And that just proves the old adage: deep down, even gross aliens who devour human beings whole can sometimes not be complete jerks.
Scruffy
Scruffy works for the Planet Express delivery company as the janitor. He likes porn. Oh, and he also owns four times as many shares of Planet Express stock than any of its other employees. And...um...yeah, that's about it.
Dr. Zoidberg
Some may argue that Dr. Zoidberg is too central a character to qualify for this list. However, I have decided to not care what those people think, mainly because ever since I watched my first episode of "Futurama," I immediately knew that Zoidberg was my favorite character. The only alien member of the Planet Express crew, Zoidberg is the company's medical specialist. However, the term "specialist" should be used lightly. Most of Zoidberg's attempts at medicine act as demonstrations of his lack of knowledge regarding the human anatomy, such as his assumption that Fry is missing a dorsal fin and should have more than one mouth. To add to the hilarity, he is quite poor and appears to be homeless, jumping at the chance to consume any type of food whatsoever (more often that not, garbage). Zoidberg is also the Planet Express crew's perennial punching bag, constantly taking the blame when things go wrong. He is the show's biggest underdog, and is lovable for that reasons alone. But for all we know about Dr. Zoidberg, there are many questions that remain unanswered, such as: Did he ever really graduate from medical school? Probably not. Is he Jewish? Who knows. Does he really have a cousin named Zoidfarb? One can only assume. Does he like to scuttle around like a crab? You bet!- Zoidberg: I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar
- Zoidberg: Only $14.99 for a two-record set? Two records! Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're becoming a crafty consumer! [Dials the phone] Hello? I'll take eight!
- Zoidberg: Now, if you'll excuse me, there is some ravioli on the floor with only two footprints on it. [Bender walks by] Three footprints. [Zoidberg drops to the floor and starts eating noisily]
- Zoidberg: In my experience, boxes are usually empty, or maybe with a little cheese stuck to the top. And one time, pepperoni. What a day that was!
Zapp Brannigan is probably the most popular recurring character among casual and die hard "Futurama" fans alike. Brannigan is a high ranking officer of the Democratic Order of Planets (DOOP) military, and captain of the Nimbus spaceship. He is also completely incompetent, terribly misogynistic, unreasonably cocky, and perhaps even a bit bi-curious. Normally, such a character would make up for his mental shortcomings with an excess of brawn. Unfortunately for Zapp, he is also overweight and out of shape (and the short red velor uniform/dress he wears doesn't leave much to the imagination). Luckily, Zapp is too stupid to truly recognize his shortcomings. Instead, he spends most of his days sending his loyal troops on suicide missions, trying to win the heart of Leela, mispronouncing words like "champagne" (sham-pag-en) and "guacamole" (gwak-uh-mole), mixing metaphors, and generally making life for his melancholy lieutenant Kif Kroker completely and totally miserable. Here's hoping Zapp's exploits (sexual and otherwise) continue into the new season.
- Zapp: Welcome to my humble chamber. Or as I call it, "The Lovenasium".
- Zapp: [To Kif] As my protégé you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her. [Pause] This time we are sure she's female, right?
- Zapp: Now you're officially my woman. Kudos! I can't say I don't envy you.
- Zapp: I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
- Zapp: If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What did I call it?
Kif: [groans] ...sexlexia.
I have to agree with FatFat McWhoDat on this one. Hedonismbot is one of the most hilarious and tragically underutilized characters on "Futurama." He also represents the true wackiness and absurdity underlying every episode of the show. As described in yesterday's articles, Hedonismbot is the robot embodiment of the hedonism school of ethics, which believes pleasure is the only intrinsic good. Thus Hedonismbot lives in constant decadence and overdoes just about everything. For example, he is made of solid gold, is constantly in a reclining position, and spends most of his time feeding grapes to himself off of his bulbous stomach (when he isn't being painted with chocolate icing, of course). But the true absurdity of Hedonismbot presents itself when you try and imagine the purpose for which he was created. You see, most of the robots in the "Futurama" universe seem to have been created with some job in mind (though not all follow their designated career path). Bender, for example, was designed to bend girders. Dr. Perceptron was built to diagnose and treat criminally insane robots. Trying to figure out exactly how or why Hedonismbot was created is a much more challenging task, and I think that is part of why the character is so hilarious.
- Hedonismbot: Your latest performance was as delectable as dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams.
- Hedonismbot: But I'm not done vomiting!
- Hedonismbot: Surgery in an opera? How wonderfully decadent! And just when I was beginning to lose interest... Djambi, the chocolate icing! [Djambi begins painting chocolate icing onto Hedonism Bot's stomach]
- Hedonismbot: That's ludicrous! Almost like saying I don't like a good power sanding of my nipples. [power sands his nipples] ooooh aaaah"
As king and queen of the planet Omicron Persei 8, Lrrr and Nd-Nd pose the greatest threat to Earth, and have invaded the planet on many occasions. However, in reality, Lrrr and Nd-Nd are much like the older married Earthican couples, just much bigger, greener, and uglier. In fact, most of the conflicts between Earth and the Omicronians are grounded in some simple cultural misunderstandings. For example, in the episode "When Aliens Attack," Lrrr and Nd-Nd wage war on Earth when the show "Single Female Lawyer" (a spoof of "Alley Mcbeal") suddenly goes off the air, when in reality it had been off the air for over 1000 years, but the signal was reaching Omicron Persei 8 on an extremely long delay. Lrrr and Nd-Nd have also shown their softer side on a few occasions, and at one point became completely smitten after being introduced to Big Foot, finding the lumbering beast to be irresistibly cute. And that just proves the old adage: deep down, even gross aliens who devour human beings whole can sometimes not be complete jerks.
- Nd-Nd: Oh, I don't know. Lrrr used to be so tender.
Lrrr: [groans] I only wrote that poem to test my printer! - Lrrr: [Eating candy hearts] These candies are chalky and unpleasant!
Nd-Nd: And what is this emotion you humans call "wuv"?
Lrrr: Surely it says "love".
Nd-Nd: No, "wuv", with an Earth W. Behold.
Lrrr: This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! - Lrrr: [watching "FRIENDS"] This is ancient Earth's most foolish program. Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
Nd-Nd: Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps.
Scruffy works for the Planet Express delivery company as the janitor. He likes porn. Oh, and he also owns four times as many shares of Planet Express stock than any of its other employees. And...um...yeah, that's about it.
- Bender: Who the hell is he?
Scruffy: I'm Scruffy... the janitor. - Bender: Who are you?
Scruffy: Scruffy. I'm the janitor.
Bender: Then why aren't you fixing the boiler?
Scruffy: Schedule conflict. [Scruffy slowly flips the pages of the magazine "Zero-G Jugs"] - Leela: Who are you?
Scruffy: Scruffy, the janitor.
Leela: I've never seen you before.
Scruffy: I've never seen you before neither. - Scruffy: Scruffy's gonna die the way he lived. [Scruffy slowly flips the pages of "Zero-G Jugs"]
6.22.2010
Futurama Week, Post #1: Reader's Editorial- "Futurama: The Simpsons in Renaissance"
For those of you unaware, the epic-yet-under-appreciated cartoon series "Futurama" is returning to TV after a 7 year hiatus with new episodes this Thursday, 6/24, at 10:00pm on Comedy Central. Needless to say, the few of us who really got a chance to appreciate the show when it was on the air and in syndication are very excited for its return. Thus, I have decided to dedicate this week to the show, and for the next three days up until the Thursday night premiere, I will be posting "Futurama"-themed articles. Today (Tuesday) is a reader's submission evaluating why the show's unique blend of comedy is so fresh. Tomorrow (Wednesday) I will posting a detailed list of my favorite tangential characters. Thursday, the day of the premiere, I will close with a summary of a few of my favorite "Futurama" episodes. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a trip down the futuristic memory lane, culminating with the premiere of the new season of "Futurama" this Thursday night at 10.
[The following article is the second submission from our faithful reader FatFat McWhoDat. If you are interested in submitting your own article, click here for more information about our weekly reader's editorial. Enjoy!]
Its probably been 10 years since "The Simpsons" had an all together epic season of quality programming. The show's recent work certainly brings chuckles to the viewer, but not the full-on-belly-laughs from slap stick comedy wonderfully melded into articulate social and political satire of its early shows. Of course, the writing team has had plenty of roll over since the glorious early days of the show, and through 20+ years the characters have simply encountered every imaginable situation, leaving fresh plot ideas few and far between. However, I'd like to propose an alternate hypothesis as to why "The Simpsons" of the last decade hasn't met the Herculean standard set by its earlier seasons. Matt Groening was working on another project. Not the much hyped, but somewhat poorly received Simpsons movie mind you, but rather a pet project he embarked upon with David X. Cohen called "Futurama."
[The following article is the second submission from our faithful reader FatFat McWhoDat. If you are interested in submitting your own article, click here for more information about our weekly reader's editorial. Enjoy!]
Its probably been 10 years since "The Simpsons" had an all together epic season of quality programming. The show's recent work certainly brings chuckles to the viewer, but not the full-on-belly-laughs from slap stick comedy wonderfully melded into articulate social and political satire of its early shows. Of course, the writing team has had plenty of roll over since the glorious early days of the show, and through 20+ years the characters have simply encountered every imaginable situation, leaving fresh plot ideas few and far between. However, I'd like to propose an alternate hypothesis as to why "The Simpsons" of the last decade hasn't met the Herculean standard set by its earlier seasons. Matt Groening was working on another project. Not the much hyped, but somewhat poorly received Simpsons movie mind you, but rather a pet project he embarked upon with David X. Cohen called "Futurama."
"Futurama" captured everything Groening strived to create with the Simpsons, and moreover served as a proving ground for his new ideas. If "The Simpsons" represents Giotto of the early Italian renaissance, then Groening created his Michelangelo with "Futurama." The show uses Groening's own Simpson family as the precedent of its genre, as do "South Park" and "Family Guy," two other notable adult-oriented comedic animations. "The Simpsons" used the classic "Leave it to Beaver" sit-com formula of a standard family living in standard suburbia during the present day, thus creating a suitably comfortable platform from which to launch an entire new genre that has drastically changed television: satirical cartoons for adults. "The Simpsons'" new genre is perhaps epitomized by the fantastical experiences in which these animated characters are allowed to partake, since their cartoon--hence imaginary--universe doesn't need to make sense. Homer could never work in a leaky nuclear power plant in real life. Nor could Maggie stay so perfectly youthful. Moreover Bart's attempted jump over Springfield Canyon could never have been portrayed accurately by real life actors. By bringing the idea of adult entertainment to cartoons, Matt Groening had brought ironic, absurd humor to an unprecedented level on television with "The Simpsons." With "Futurama," he took it a step further.
Since "Futurama" is set 1000 years in the future, the narratives usually operate under the assumption that anything science fiction is possible, from time travel to nanotechnology; therefore allowing Groening's absurd sense of humor to reach an ever greater scope than the Simpsons' thence-archaic technological present. However, his truest stroke of perfection comes in Futurama's most lovable persona: Fry. By placing a pretty awkward, generally stupid character at the center of the series, Groening seized his audience's heart and imagination. Anyone can imagine the possibilities of being magically transported to 1000 years in the future. With the amount of technological innovation in the last 10 years, simply playing a video game in the year 3000 would probably be the experience of a lifetime for us old-timey 21st century folk.
My favorite part of Futurama however has to be the plethora of tangential characters. From Nixon's head to Hypnotoad, Groening systematically created a character for every stereotype. From ultra-rich foreigners (The Wongs) to the incessantly overdramatic soap drama star (Calculon, pictured), to my personal favorite Hedonism bot (based off of the Greek deity Bacchus and the hedonism movement in general), Futurama's extended cast finds every niche in today's society, and exploits each hilariously on screen to the delight of the viewer, much in the esteem of the Simpsons' great tradition.
So if you're looking for intellectual hilarity seamlessly blended with slapstick comedy, strap on your space boots and get yourself some new Futurama this summer.
6.17.2010
Why the Nintendo 3DS is the "Future of Gaming"
Let me preface this article with a sympathetic word to the non-gamers out there reading this. Please be advised that I do NOT intend for PopREX to become a video game blog. However, if you are unaware, we are currently smack in the middle of the Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles (E3), the number one biggest video game event of the year. I would be doing you all (as well as the geeky gamer within me) a great disservice if I didn't at least do a little coverage thereof. But bare with me; non-gamer content is most assuredly on the way. ;)
Now, originally my plan was to do a full blow out of the Big Three's press conferences (that is Nintendo's, Microsoft's, and Sony's), breaking down each and every announcement the companies made and comparing them head-to-head to pick a winner. But in the interest of time and sanity, I have decided to forgo the preceding, and will instead focus on what many in the gaming world believe to be the most impressive piece of tech unveiled at E3 this year: the Nintendo 3DS. However, I will give you a brief (and I use that term lightly) outline of my take on how the Big Three performed this time around.
In my opinion, Nintendo absolutely blew away the competition this year. With a HUGE line up of jaw-dropping 1st party exclusives (new Zelda, new Donkey Kong Country, new Metroid, new Kirby, Mario Sports Mix, new GOLDENEYE!!) and the extremely exciting new 3DS handheld, Microsoft and Sony simply couldn't compete. As for second place, I have to give the edge to Sony over Microsoft, and that is only a slight edge. In reality, both companies had very similar showings. Both had very tasty exclusives: Sony had LittleBigPlanet 2, Killzone 3, Gran Turismo 5, Infamous 2, SOCOM 4, and the new Twisted Metal; Microsoft had Gears of War 3, Halo: Reach, Fable 3, and the new Forza Motorsport. Both displayed wow-filled demos of games coming to both systems, like Call of Duty: Black Ops, the new Medal of Honor, Portal 2, Metal Gear Solid: Rising, and Dead Space 2. However, what gave Sony the edge in my mind was not the software but the hardware. Anyone who follows the game industry knows that both Sony and Microsoft will soon enter the motion-controlled gaming market with their products the Move and Kinect, respectively.
Both of these new products were demoed, but I simply found Microsoft's Kinect (a controller-free camera device) to be very underwhelming. All of the games that were shown utilizing the Kinect were either minigame collections or fitness/dance titles. These just didn't prove that this device would revolutionize the industry in anyway, at least for real gamers. The Move, on the other hand, showed some real promise. While the tech maybe be less original (very much a Wii remote with a bulb on the end for enhanced motion tracking), Sony showed that it will truly enhance real hardcore gaming, with titles like Sorcery (where the device was used as a wand in a Harry Potter-esque adventure), SOCOM 4, and Heroes on the Move. Furthermore, Sony announced that the Move will be usable for many great titles already on store shelves, such as Resident Evil 5, Heavy Rain, and Tiger Woods 11. Simply put, Microsoft did not prove to me that their new motion hardware has any real hardcore gaming implications, something that Sony did in spades. As for the other announcements the two companies made, Sony pushed the PS3's new 3D capabilities, and Microsoft unveiled a new slim version of the Xbox 360. Neither of these in my mind are real game changers: the home theater 3D equipment that the PS3 requires is just too damn expensive, and the slim Xbox 360 does nothing new that the other systems haven't been doing for years (smaller size, quieter performance, built in WiFi, no red ring of death). So there you have it. In my honest opinion, Nintendo wins this E3, followed by a distant Sony, with Microsoft closely trailing in third place.
Phew, okay. Let me catch my breath here, because I don't want to lose focus on what has me really and truly excited: the Nintendo 3DS. As you know (or should know), Nintendo has consistently had a stranglehold on the handheld gaming market, from as early as the original GameBoy, and most recently with the dual-screened DS (which had sold over 125 million units as of the end of last year). And while each iteration has had its fair share of advancements, I don't think anything we've seen from the game industry has been this jaw-dropping since the N64 and PlayStation gave us our first taste of polygonal, fully rendered three-dimensional game worlds. Now, granted, I haven't actually seen the 3DS in action. But I've read about it. A LOT. And I am prepared to back this device wholeheartedly. And have I ever lead you astray in the past (let's not bring up MacGruber)?
So what is the 3DS? Well I'm glad that you asked. What a good looking question. The 3DS is Nintendo's new portable gaming system demoed at E3 this year. The system boasts some really impressive features. First, it supposedly has more graphic processing power than the Wii (we don't really have the full specs on the system's processing technology, but here is a video that should give you an idea of what this thing is capable of). Now granted, the Wii is not itself the most beautiful gaming platform out there. However, some Wii games are truly gorgeous (take Super Mario Galaxy for example), and to imagine such a game in the palm of your hand is alone astounding. It is the next piece of info that really has gamers excited for the 3DS. Not only will the system's graphics be better than the Wii's, but it will also feature FULL STEREOSCOPIC 3D without the need for 3D glasses! The 3DS uses a unique LCD system which outputs two different images to each of your eyes, removing the need for the cumbersome 3D glasses while still creating the jaw-dropping depth seen in films like Avatar and How to Train your Dragon. And early opinions from those lucky few who have tried it are extremely promising:
Craig Harris, IGN.com: "But it's the 3D display. Holy crap. Trust me, you really have to see this thing in person to understand why I'm incredibly impressed. [T]he effect adds . . .[a] lot of depth. [It] is immediately obvious, yet seems so natural. [...] The 3D effect works fantastically. [...] It's a stunning effect, absolutely."
Giancarlo Varanini, GameSpot.com: "[A]ll I can say is, "Wow." [The 3DS] didn't disappoint at all. In fact, I'm so shocked at how good the 3D effect is that I find myself wondering why it is that no other company has picked up on this technology already. But then again, this is Nintendo[.]"
Justin Calvert, GameSpot.com: "I was still skeptical until I held [the 3DS] in my hands and was able to see the 3D screen for myself. Not only does it work, but I think the effect of the 3D is just as good as that on the PlayStation 3, which requires an expensive TV and a pair of glasses."
Pants wet yet? Mine sure are. But what good is a system without fantastic games to play on it? No good, I say, no good at all. Luckily, however, Nintendo has announced a ridiculous number of mouth-watering titles to be released for the system, ranging from exciting remakes to originals from big name franchises. In the former category, Nintendo has announced it will be releasing 3D remakes of classic titles like Star Fox 64 and the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Third-party remakes are on the way too, including 3D versions of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater and Super Street Fighter IV. It is exciting enough to imagine playing these already amazing titles in full 3D; it is even more exciting to know we can do so on trains, planes, automobiles, and everywhere in between. As for new titles, Nintendo isn't pulling any punches. New Mario Kart, PilotWings, Animal Crossing, and Paper Mario titles are all in the works for the 3D system, as are 3rd party titles like Resident Evil: Revelations, Assassin's Creed: Lost Legacy, a new Ghost Recon, and a new Ridge Racer, all in glorious 3D.
If that was all the system could do, it would be enough. But it doesn't stop there. Much like the original DS, the 3DS will feature a dual screen display. The top screen will be the 3D display, while the bottom will have touch-screen capabilities. The system also features an analog stick for increased control over the action, and can connect to WiFi for online pwnage. Another new feature is motion detection. The 3DS features built-in motion sensors and a gyroscope, allowing gamers to not only use button inputs and the touch screen to control games, but also tilts and twirls of the system itself. Furthermore, the system we be able to play full 3D movies, such as the aforementioned How to Train your Dragon, featuring the same 3D effects that would be seen in theaters or with a 3D TV and glasses. And the icing on the cake? The 3DS features TWO outward facing cameras which can be used to take FULL 3D PICTURES! OF REAL LIFE! IN 3D!! If that isn't awesome I don't know what is.
Now, no word has been released as to the 3DS's release date or price. But if I had to guess, I would say the system won't be out until 2011, and will be priced at around $200. While I am not sure I can wait that long to get my hands on this thing, I wold definitely be willing shell out that much coin if this thing is as good as it sounds. Either way, as JP from Grandma's Boy once said, this is truly "the future of gaming."
Now, originally my plan was to do a full blow out of the Big Three's press conferences (that is Nintendo's, Microsoft's, and Sony's), breaking down each and every announcement the companies made and comparing them head-to-head to pick a winner. But in the interest of time and sanity, I have decided to forgo the preceding, and will instead focus on what many in the gaming world believe to be the most impressive piece of tech unveiled at E3 this year: the Nintendo 3DS. However, I will give you a brief (and I use that term lightly) outline of my take on how the Big Three performed this time around.
Both of these new products were demoed, but I simply found Microsoft's Kinect (a controller-free camera device) to be very underwhelming. All of the games that were shown utilizing the Kinect were either minigame collections or fitness/dance titles. These just didn't prove that this device would revolutionize the industry in anyway, at least for real gamers. The Move, on the other hand, showed some real promise. While the tech maybe be less original (very much a Wii remote with a bulb on the end for enhanced motion tracking), Sony showed that it will truly enhance real hardcore gaming, with titles like Sorcery (where the device was used as a wand in a Harry Potter-esque adventure), SOCOM 4, and Heroes on the Move. Furthermore, Sony announced that the Move will be usable for many great titles already on store shelves, such as Resident Evil 5, Heavy Rain, and Tiger Woods 11. Simply put, Microsoft did not prove to me that their new motion hardware has any real hardcore gaming implications, something that Sony did in spades. As for the other announcements the two companies made, Sony pushed the PS3's new 3D capabilities, and Microsoft unveiled a new slim version of the Xbox 360. Neither of these in my mind are real game changers: the home theater 3D equipment that the PS3 requires is just too damn expensive, and the slim Xbox 360 does nothing new that the other systems haven't been doing for years (smaller size, quieter performance, built in WiFi, no red ring of death). So there you have it. In my honest opinion, Nintendo wins this E3, followed by a distant Sony, with Microsoft closely trailing in third place.Phew, okay. Let me catch my breath here, because I don't want to lose focus on what has me really and truly excited: the Nintendo 3DS. As you know (or should know), Nintendo has consistently had a stranglehold on the handheld gaming market, from as early as the original GameBoy, and most recently with the dual-screened DS (which had sold over 125 million units as of the end of last year). And while each iteration has had its fair share of advancements, I don't think anything we've seen from the game industry has been this jaw-dropping since the N64 and PlayStation gave us our first taste of polygonal, fully rendered three-dimensional game worlds. Now, granted, I haven't actually seen the 3DS in action. But I've read about it. A LOT. And I am prepared to back this device wholeheartedly. And have I ever lead you astray in the past (let's not bring up MacGruber)?
Craig Harris, IGN.com: "But it's the 3D display. Holy crap. Trust me, you really have to see this thing in person to understand why I'm incredibly impressed. [T]he effect adds . . .[a] lot of depth. [It] is immediately obvious, yet seems so natural. [...] The 3D effect works fantastically. [...] It's a stunning effect, absolutely."
Giancarlo Varanini, GameSpot.com: "[A]ll I can say is, "Wow." [The 3DS] didn't disappoint at all. In fact, I'm so shocked at how good the 3D effect is that I find myself wondering why it is that no other company has picked up on this technology already. But then again, this is Nintendo[.]"
Justin Calvert, GameSpot.com: "I was still skeptical until I held [the 3DS] in my hands and was able to see the 3D screen for myself. Not only does it work, but I think the effect of the 3D is just as good as that on the PlayStation 3, which requires an expensive TV and a pair of glasses."
Now, no word has been released as to the 3DS's release date or price. But if I had to guess, I would say the system won't be out until 2011, and will be priced at around $200. While I am not sure I can wait that long to get my hands on this thing, I wold definitely be willing shell out that much coin if this thing is as good as it sounds. Either way, as JP from Grandma's Boy once said, this is truly "the future of gaming."
6.10.2010
6.08.2010
Five Video Game-to-Film Adaptations that Should Happen
[NOTE: There is something very exciting at the end of this article, so make sure you read all the way through...or skip to the end if you feel like cheating...you cheater...]
Last month, I posted an article titled "May-Flowers," in which I highlighted five movies being released in the month of May that I believed, based on preliminary information, were worth watching. One of those films was Prince of Perisa: the Sands of Time, perhaps the first video game-to-film adaptation to be made with the a budget, production and casting comparable to high profile adventure movies like Pirates of the Caribbean and the like. Accordingly, my expectations were high. And unfortunately, while I haven't seen the film myself, the general consensus is disappointment across the board. It seems that while the movie was at times entertaining and fun, it was completely forgettable, lacked emotional gravitas, and pandered to too young a crowd.
However, despite the lukewarm reviews (40% on Tomatometer) and box office failures (grossing less than $38 million domestically), I still consider Prince of Persia a success. Not as a film, per se, but as a step forward for the future of video game-to-film adaptations. When you consider how truly terrible the vast majority of these films are (with only five out of the twenty-nine ranked by Rotten Tomatoes scoring above a 30% on the Tomatometer, with Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within's 44% in first place) and how little care has been put into adapting the source material, Prince of Persia could signal the beginning of a rebirth for the genre, a sort of video game-to-film renaissance with big name producers (like PoP's Bruckheimer) and directors partnering with major studios and premiere actors to give some of the better video game storylines their theatrical due recognition. And it is with this hope in mind that I present to you my list of the top five video game-to-film adaptations that should happen (make sure you read them all, especially the LAST one).
Halo: Combat Evolved
Plot: Movie opens with a marine spacecraft--The Pillar of Autumn--being attacked by warring alien forces known as The Covenant. In an attempt to fight back, the humans wake bioengineered super-solider Master Chief from cryo-sleep. Master Chief, along with his AI companion Cortana and the surviving human forces, fights his way to the ship’s escape pods, but the pods crash land on an unidentified celestial formation: the ring-shaped “Halo.” The war between the humans and the Covenant continues on the surface of the Halo, however neither are aware that a much more sinister force rests within the Halo’s surface, one with the power to destroy all sentient life in the universe: the parasitic Flood.
Why it would be a great movie: take the gritty battle scenes of Saving Private Ryan, add in some high-tech, sci-fi weapons and vehicles, and finish it off with a sort of zombies-in-space vibe (thanks to the Flood), and you get a movie that, with a large enough budget and the right special effects, could easily be a huge summer blockbuster and a memorable sci-fi epic.
What will work: huge set-piece moments from the game, like the assault on the Covenant spacecraft and the first time the Flood is introduced, lend themselves perfectly to the big screen.
What won’t work: the puny, squeaky-voiced Covenant grunts are just a bit too comical and ridiculous, and would impinge on the films otherwise mature tone.
Possible cast: Master Chief (voice)- Ron Pearlman; Cortana- Milla Jovovich; Colonel Johnson- Keith David
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
Plot: The movie opens with quick cuts of Nathan Drake, a young wise-cracking treasure hunter, running through the sewers of Istanbul alongside fellow hunters Chloe Frazer and Harry Flynn. They soon reach a museum, and sneak in with the intent to steal an old Mongolian lamp. With the lamp in hand, Flynn quickly double-crosses Drake, revealing he is really working for Zoran Lazarevic, a supposedly dead war criminal. Flynn escapes with Frazer, and Drake is captured. Drake spends three months in prison, after which he is set free by Frazer and his old friend Victor “Sully” Sullivan. Frazer informs Drake that Lazarevic is searching for Marco Polo’s lost fleet and the fabled wish-granting Cintamani Stone, the location of which was hidden within the Mongolian lamp. The three team up and follow Lazarevic and Flynn through the jungles of Borneo, the war-torn cities of Nepal (where they cross paths with Drake’s old girlfriend Elena Fisher), and the snowy peaks of Tibet, and eventually reaching their final destination: the lost kingdom of Shambhala, home of the Tree of Life.
Why it would be a great movie: More than any other game I have ever played, Uncharted 2 felt like it was made for the silver screen. The believable characters, the funny, human dialogue, the jaw-dropping action sequences, the beautiful and varied environments; this game was every bit a theatrical experience, and a far more exciting adventure than both of those stupid Nation Treasure movies and the fourth Indiana Jones combined.
What will work: Remember that part of the game where Drake is fighting Lazarevic’s soldiers in a building in Nepal when suddenly a helicopter comes and blows the building in half? Remember how Drake is still firing his pistols as the room he is standing in up-ends and the building quickly turns to rubble? Remember how Drake at the last second makes a death-defying leap out of the window and into the adjacent building as the everything around him crumbles to the ground? Yeah, that.
What won’t work: Remember those snow yeti’s Drake fought in Tibet? Remember the purple-skinned guardians of Shambhala? Remember how they were like the same thing? Yeah, that.
Possible Cast: Nathan Drake- Chris Evans; Chloe Frazer- Angelina Jolie; Elena Fisher- Leslie Bibb; Zoran Lazarevic- Mark Strong
Final Fantasy VII (Part I)
Plot: The industrial metropolis Midgar, controlled by the power hungry Shinra Company, is in distress. While the upper “plate” of the city is prospering, the land below has become a desolate, starving slum, completely drained of the planet’s natural “Mako” energy due to Shinra’s activities. A rebel group known as AVALANCHE forms, lead by Barret Wallace and Tifa Lockhart. The group is soon joined by Tifa’s childhood friend Cloud Strife, an ex-member of SOLDIER, a military unit run by Shinra. AVALANCHE begins launching attacks on Shinra’s many Mako reactors throughout Midgar. After discovering the location of the AVALANCHE hideout, Shinra quickly responds by dropping the upper plate onto all of Sector 7 of Midgar, destroying everyone and everything that lived there. Shinra also succeeds in capturing Aeris Gainsborough, a flower girl who had enlisted Cloud’s help as her bodyguard. Enraged, Cloud, Tifa, and Barret launch an attack on the Shinra headquarters. However, they soon realize that it is not Shinra they should fear, but Sephiroth, a legendary warrior who once fought alongside Cloud and has been presumed dead for some time. After rescuing Aeris, AVALANCHE begins a long trek across the planet in attempt to thwart Sephiroth’s deranged plans to destroy the world.
Why it would be a great movie: There is a reason that Final Fantasy VII brought role-playing games into the mainstream. Its sci-fi story line made it much more accessible than the fantasy-fare found in earlier titles, as did its rough-yet-lovable lead characters. This is particularly true of the first part of the game, which takes place entirely within the city limits of the high-tech Midgar. This section of the game was fast-paced and easy to follow, making it much more appropriate for the big screen then the more drawn-out, esoteric later parts. Sure, a sequel could be made to continue the story; the game is way too long to squeeze into one movie anyway.
What will work: Cloud escaping from the Shinra soldiers by jumping onto the top of a moving train; Cloud, Tifa, and Barret narrowly avoiding the falling Sector 7 plate by zip-lining to safety; the Cloud-Tifa-Aeris love triangle and the hostile friendship between Cloud and Barret. And for the cliffhanger? After saving Aeris, the team heads off to take care of the man in charge of Shinra, only to find him brutally slaughtered by Sephiroth.
What won’t work: To save time, certain non-essential sections may need to be sidestepped, including the ridiculous (yet humorous) part of the game where Cloud cross-dresses in order to gain entrance to the perverted mob boss Don Corneo’s mansion.
Possible Cast: Cloud Strife- Chris Pine; Barret Wallace- Quinton Jackson; Tifa Lockhart- Keira Knightley; Aeris Gainsborough- Natalie Portman
Resident Evil (reboot)
Plot: The residents of Raccoon City are worried after a series of bizarre murders occur in the nearby Arklay Mountains, with the victims’ bodies showing signs of cannibalism. The Raccoon City Police Department’s Special Tactics and Rescue Service (STARS) is assigned to investigate the murders, and deploys their Bravo team to investigate the area. When contact is lost with the Bravo team, the Alpha team, comprised of Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, and Barry Burton (among others), are deployed. After discovering the Bravo team’s helicopter, the Alpha team is attacked by a pack of violent, murderous dogs, and are forced to seek refuge within a nearby mansion. Once inside, the team splits up in an attempt to locate their missing comrades and find out more about the strange murders. What they find, however, is much graver: the mansion has been the site of many illegal experiments carried out by the Umbrella Corporation, a pharmaceutical conglomerate. The terrible results of these experiments (and the subsequently created T-Virus) terrorize the Alpha team throughout the mansion, including zombies and other mutated monstrosities. The team eventually discovers a research facility located below the mansion’s foundation, where they learn that Wesker has actually been working for Umbrella all along, and has lured Valentine and Redfield there in order to test out his most sinister creation: the massive humanoid bio-weapon known as the “Tyrant."
Why it would be a great movie: Ok, I can already hear you all complaining, “but I thought Resident Evil was already adapted into a movie.” Well, that’s only partially true. The storylines from the movies don’t really match up with those in the video games, and have as a result never done the original game series justice (and also just plain sucked). The original Resident Evil game works as a great contained incident, and if handled correctly, could rise above its B-movie roots.
What will work: Every terror that Valentine and Redfield face in the game would translate perfectly to the big screen, including the zombies, zombie-dogs, giant spiders, and Hunter monsters, as well as some of the game’s perilous traps, like the room with the lowering ceiling and the underground tunnel with the giant boulder.
What won’t work: A return of the game’s absolutely terrible B-movie dialogue and voice acting, on the other hand, would be an epic fail. See for example: “Jill, here's a lockpick. It might come in handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you.” “That was too close. You were almost a Jill sandwich!” “I hope this is not Chris’ blood!"
Possible Cast: Chris Redfield- Karl Urban; Albert Wesker- Viggo Mortensen; Jill Valentine- Liv Tyler; Barry Burton- Bruce Campbell
Mortal Kombat (reboot)
Another one that has already been made into a series of terrible movies, imagine how gritty and terrifying a Mortal Kombat reboot would be if it was full out R rated and ripe with gore. For example, what if all the disfigured “outlanders” from the video games were re-imagined as deranged, deformed, yet human serial killers? What if Jax and Sonya were police officers trying to put an end to their violence? What if Shang Tsung was a rich gangster who hosted a fight-to-the-death tournament, giving each side a chance to tear apart the other? Oh, and what if everything I’ve said so far IS ACUALLY BEING MADE INTO A MOVIE!?!? Yup, that’s right. A trailer has been posted on Youtube for a new Mortal Kombat movie, one with a much darker, grittier, more realistic tone than the campy, crappy original series. And based on the high production values and fight choreography, I don’t think this is a simple teaser or practical joke. Check out the trailer here, and prepare to escape to geek paradise.
Last month, I posted an article titled "May-Flowers," in which I highlighted five movies being released in the month of May that I believed, based on preliminary information, were worth watching. One of those films was Prince of Perisa: the Sands of Time, perhaps the first video game-to-film adaptation to be made with the a budget, production and casting comparable to high profile adventure movies like Pirates of the Caribbean and the like. Accordingly, my expectations were high. And unfortunately, while I haven't seen the film myself, the general consensus is disappointment across the board. It seems that while the movie was at times entertaining and fun, it was completely forgettable, lacked emotional gravitas, and pandered to too young a crowd.
However, despite the lukewarm reviews (40% on Tomatometer) and box office failures (grossing less than $38 million domestically), I still consider Prince of Persia a success. Not as a film, per se, but as a step forward for the future of video game-to-film adaptations. When you consider how truly terrible the vast majority of these films are (with only five out of the twenty-nine ranked by Rotten Tomatoes scoring above a 30% on the Tomatometer, with Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within's 44% in first place) and how little care has been put into adapting the source material, Prince of Persia could signal the beginning of a rebirth for the genre, a sort of video game-to-film renaissance with big name producers (like PoP's Bruckheimer) and directors partnering with major studios and premiere actors to give some of the better video game storylines their theatrical due recognition. And it is with this hope in mind that I present to you my list of the top five video game-to-film adaptations that should happen (make sure you read them all, especially the LAST one).
Plot: Movie opens with a marine spacecraft--The Pillar of Autumn--being attacked by warring alien forces known as The Covenant. In an attempt to fight back, the humans wake bioengineered super-solider Master Chief from cryo-sleep. Master Chief, along with his AI companion Cortana and the surviving human forces, fights his way to the ship’s escape pods, but the pods crash land on an unidentified celestial formation: the ring-shaped “Halo.” The war between the humans and the Covenant continues on the surface of the Halo, however neither are aware that a much more sinister force rests within the Halo’s surface, one with the power to destroy all sentient life in the universe: the parasitic Flood.
Why it would be a great movie: take the gritty battle scenes of Saving Private Ryan, add in some high-tech, sci-fi weapons and vehicles, and finish it off with a sort of zombies-in-space vibe (thanks to the Flood), and you get a movie that, with a large enough budget and the right special effects, could easily be a huge summer blockbuster and a memorable sci-fi epic.
What will work: huge set-piece moments from the game, like the assault on the Covenant spacecraft and the first time the Flood is introduced, lend themselves perfectly to the big screen.
What won’t work: the puny, squeaky-voiced Covenant grunts are just a bit too comical and ridiculous, and would impinge on the films otherwise mature tone.
Possible cast: Master Chief (voice)- Ron Pearlman; Cortana- Milla Jovovich; Colonel Johnson- Keith David
Plot: The movie opens with quick cuts of Nathan Drake, a young wise-cracking treasure hunter, running through the sewers of Istanbul alongside fellow hunters Chloe Frazer and Harry Flynn. They soon reach a museum, and sneak in with the intent to steal an old Mongolian lamp. With the lamp in hand, Flynn quickly double-crosses Drake, revealing he is really working for Zoran Lazarevic, a supposedly dead war criminal. Flynn escapes with Frazer, and Drake is captured. Drake spends three months in prison, after which he is set free by Frazer and his old friend Victor “Sully” Sullivan. Frazer informs Drake that Lazarevic is searching for Marco Polo’s lost fleet and the fabled wish-granting Cintamani Stone, the location of which was hidden within the Mongolian lamp. The three team up and follow Lazarevic and Flynn through the jungles of Borneo, the war-torn cities of Nepal (where they cross paths with Drake’s old girlfriend Elena Fisher), and the snowy peaks of Tibet, and eventually reaching their final destination: the lost kingdom of Shambhala, home of the Tree of Life.
Why it would be a great movie: More than any other game I have ever played, Uncharted 2 felt like it was made for the silver screen. The believable characters, the funny, human dialogue, the jaw-dropping action sequences, the beautiful and varied environments; this game was every bit a theatrical experience, and a far more exciting adventure than both of those stupid Nation Treasure movies and the fourth Indiana Jones combined.
What will work: Remember that part of the game where Drake is fighting Lazarevic’s soldiers in a building in Nepal when suddenly a helicopter comes and blows the building in half? Remember how Drake is still firing his pistols as the room he is standing in up-ends and the building quickly turns to rubble? Remember how Drake at the last second makes a death-defying leap out of the window and into the adjacent building as the everything around him crumbles to the ground? Yeah, that.
What won’t work: Remember those snow yeti’s Drake fought in Tibet? Remember the purple-skinned guardians of Shambhala? Remember how they were like the same thing? Yeah, that.
Possible Cast: Nathan Drake- Chris Evans; Chloe Frazer- Angelina Jolie; Elena Fisher- Leslie Bibb; Zoran Lazarevic- Mark Strong
Plot: The industrial metropolis Midgar, controlled by the power hungry Shinra Company, is in distress. While the upper “plate” of the city is prospering, the land below has become a desolate, starving slum, completely drained of the planet’s natural “Mako” energy due to Shinra’s activities. A rebel group known as AVALANCHE forms, lead by Barret Wallace and Tifa Lockhart. The group is soon joined by Tifa’s childhood friend Cloud Strife, an ex-member of SOLDIER, a military unit run by Shinra. AVALANCHE begins launching attacks on Shinra’s many Mako reactors throughout Midgar. After discovering the location of the AVALANCHE hideout, Shinra quickly responds by dropping the upper plate onto all of Sector 7 of Midgar, destroying everyone and everything that lived there. Shinra also succeeds in capturing Aeris Gainsborough, a flower girl who had enlisted Cloud’s help as her bodyguard. Enraged, Cloud, Tifa, and Barret launch an attack on the Shinra headquarters. However, they soon realize that it is not Shinra they should fear, but Sephiroth, a legendary warrior who once fought alongside Cloud and has been presumed dead for some time. After rescuing Aeris, AVALANCHE begins a long trek across the planet in attempt to thwart Sephiroth’s deranged plans to destroy the world.
Why it would be a great movie: There is a reason that Final Fantasy VII brought role-playing games into the mainstream. Its sci-fi story line made it much more accessible than the fantasy-fare found in earlier titles, as did its rough-yet-lovable lead characters. This is particularly true of the first part of the game, which takes place entirely within the city limits of the high-tech Midgar. This section of the game was fast-paced and easy to follow, making it much more appropriate for the big screen then the more drawn-out, esoteric later parts. Sure, a sequel could be made to continue the story; the game is way too long to squeeze into one movie anyway.
What will work: Cloud escaping from the Shinra soldiers by jumping onto the top of a moving train; Cloud, Tifa, and Barret narrowly avoiding the falling Sector 7 plate by zip-lining to safety; the Cloud-Tifa-Aeris love triangle and the hostile friendship between Cloud and Barret. And for the cliffhanger? After saving Aeris, the team heads off to take care of the man in charge of Shinra, only to find him brutally slaughtered by Sephiroth.
What won’t work: To save time, certain non-essential sections may need to be sidestepped, including the ridiculous (yet humorous) part of the game where Cloud cross-dresses in order to gain entrance to the perverted mob boss Don Corneo’s mansion.
Possible Cast: Cloud Strife- Chris Pine; Barret Wallace- Quinton Jackson; Tifa Lockhart- Keira Knightley; Aeris Gainsborough- Natalie Portman
Plot: The residents of Raccoon City are worried after a series of bizarre murders occur in the nearby Arklay Mountains, with the victims’ bodies showing signs of cannibalism. The Raccoon City Police Department’s Special Tactics and Rescue Service (STARS) is assigned to investigate the murders, and deploys their Bravo team to investigate the area. When contact is lost with the Bravo team, the Alpha team, comprised of Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, and Barry Burton (among others), are deployed. After discovering the Bravo team’s helicopter, the Alpha team is attacked by a pack of violent, murderous dogs, and are forced to seek refuge within a nearby mansion. Once inside, the team splits up in an attempt to locate their missing comrades and find out more about the strange murders. What they find, however, is much graver: the mansion has been the site of many illegal experiments carried out by the Umbrella Corporation, a pharmaceutical conglomerate. The terrible results of these experiments (and the subsequently created T-Virus) terrorize the Alpha team throughout the mansion, including zombies and other mutated monstrosities. The team eventually discovers a research facility located below the mansion’s foundation, where they learn that Wesker has actually been working for Umbrella all along, and has lured Valentine and Redfield there in order to test out his most sinister creation: the massive humanoid bio-weapon known as the “Tyrant."
Why it would be a great movie: Ok, I can already hear you all complaining, “but I thought Resident Evil was already adapted into a movie.” Well, that’s only partially true. The storylines from the movies don’t really match up with those in the video games, and have as a result never done the original game series justice (and also just plain sucked). The original Resident Evil game works as a great contained incident, and if handled correctly, could rise above its B-movie roots.
What will work: Every terror that Valentine and Redfield face in the game would translate perfectly to the big screen, including the zombies, zombie-dogs, giant spiders, and Hunter monsters, as well as some of the game’s perilous traps, like the room with the lowering ceiling and the underground tunnel with the giant boulder.
What won’t work: A return of the game’s absolutely terrible B-movie dialogue and voice acting, on the other hand, would be an epic fail. See for example: “Jill, here's a lockpick. It might come in handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you.” “That was too close. You were almost a Jill sandwich!” “I hope this is not Chris’ blood!"
Possible Cast: Chris Redfield- Karl Urban; Albert Wesker- Viggo Mortensen; Jill Valentine- Liv Tyler; Barry Burton- Bruce Campbell
Another one that has already been made into a series of terrible movies, imagine how gritty and terrifying a Mortal Kombat reboot would be if it was full out R rated and ripe with gore. For example, what if all the disfigured “outlanders” from the video games were re-imagined as deranged, deformed, yet human serial killers? What if Jax and Sonya were police officers trying to put an end to their violence? What if Shang Tsung was a rich gangster who hosted a fight-to-the-death tournament, giving each side a chance to tear apart the other? Oh, and what if everything I’ve said so far IS ACUALLY BEING MADE INTO A MOVIE!?!? Yup, that’s right. A trailer has been posted on Youtube for a new Mortal Kombat movie, one with a much darker, grittier, more realistic tone than the campy, crappy original series. And based on the high production values and fight choreography, I don’t think this is a simple teaser or practical joke. Check out the trailer here, and prepare to escape to geek paradise.
6.07.2010
iPhone 4 Announcement and Information
Again, check on the live CNET blog for more information as it occurs. But as a funny side-note, at one point in the presentation, while attempting to demonstrate the differences in visual fidelity between the 3GS and 4, Jobs attempted to access the NY Times application on both phones. However, he couldn't, and received error messages like "cannot activate cellular networks," to many laughs from the audience. His continue efforts proved futile, and he remarked: "I'm sorry guys, I don't know what's going on. Got any suggestions?" Then, someone shouts from the audience: "Verizon!" Haha, good stuff.
[A special thanks to IGN.com for the image above]
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