So this past week was the Grammy’s and did anyone else see that everyone was trying to be an “artist”. Some did well and some failed miserably so I thought we could discuss what went down and what went up (like Pink, literally she was aerial). So let’s go chronologically on some of the highlight events.
Lady Gaga. Duhh we have to start with this ugly, jew (it’s okay the Deputy can say that). She is such a tranny mess that she has to disguise herself as the empire state building in order to be on the hot list. She has that nose and that awkward face, but she can pump out those hits. I am always down to fist pump to a lady gaga song in the clubs but does anyone else think she is SATURATING THE MARKET. Every song was released so soon after the last, that by the time I started to finally get into “Just Dance”, she hits me across the face with “Bad Romance”. Then Elton John comes on, oh Elton, the dirty face really. I mean he is more of an icon than her and she should be playing to his level rather than the other way around. If I were Elton, I would have been like, “Listen, trina, you are cool for right now but back that dirt away from my face”. He killed it per usual but just hard to see.
A friend told me, one that went to high school with Lady, that this girl was HUSTLIN’ ever since the beginning. She would be playing at local venues and handing out flyers in high school. Girl has drive, so more power to her. She’s obsessed with fame and what it brings, and just like a fat person joking about their obesity, it’s better not to front and keep all your cards on the table.
Beyoncé bombs out in her crazy army/leather/dominatrix/diva outfit and makes a killer entrance. The problem is that I have seen something so similar in Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation”. The army, SWAT thing is kind of tired, and she rolled in a huge posse of girls for her last performance. I like that swagger of army because then the dancing can be solid isolations and maybe some pop-and-lock. That being said (“Curb” enthusiasts), she killed it. It is great to see the different styles of music creating artistry instead of yelling at their audiences. Also, watching Jay-Z bob his head (to the music or to the pectoral movement of his betrothed) was very endearing and brought a real vibe to the fantasy couple.
With a tough act to follow, Pink comes out looking immaculate in a white, draped number. The Deputy’s brother is obsessed with Pink and her whole vibe, so shout out to that. (side note: it was great to see that all the artists who performed could actually SING this year!) So Pink de-robes and comes out in a less-than-Britney’s-Stronger-live-performance negligee. She mounts a cirque de soliel ring and is hoisted in the middle of the audience. It seemed a bit hokey for a Grammy gala but having to follow Beyoncé in her prime leads one to do mysterious things. Then after a glamorous stripper number, Pink disappears into a hole in the middle of the audience and reappears dripping wet. Okay…I guess that’s okay… She re-enters the skyline above the audience and is swinging and dipping and diving and twirling and belting notes (in tune). But, the only thing I could think about is how there were people below in hundreds of thousands of dollars of jewelry and gowns getting dripped on. I hope there was a screen that shielded the crowd, or maybe that’s just where they sat Kathy Griffin and Perez Hilton.
Skipping over the Meth Addict and Her Merry men number (a.k.a. the Black Eyed Peas), which was a poor excuse for declaring oneself “the future”, we arrive at the Michael Jackson tribute. They picked the best song to sing for it, because it showed the heart and the power of MJ, but in 3D? OY! I was sitting there watching about to get epilepsy as I had to decipher the images on my screen just to see it. Who in G-d’s green Earth is so up to date with the Grammy’s that they are going to go to their local liquor store and pick up some 3D shades for the Michael Jackson number, so stupid. And, I forgot to add this earlier, MJ’s kids introduced the number. He is probably rolling around in his plastic grave knowing that the first major tribute to his life completely debased his will to keep his kids out of the limelight. But did anyone else think that the daughter was hot? The Deputy would go to jail for that, he thinks.
All in all it was great show, oh wait! TAYLOR SWIFT! She basically metaphorically murdered Stevie Knicks’ career single handedly by singing that g-dawful song so out of tune, shoving Stevie to the background with a tambourine decorated by Aerosmith. But I digress. The artists showed art this year and it was fun to see. Hopefully next year there will be a spot for the Deputy and Spot in the front row, and maybe the Deputy’s brother if Pink decides to do another installment of Cirque-de-so-gay.
To end this article, all I have to say is…JAMIE FOXX’S FAT, DOWN-SYNDROME SISTER! Haha, it slayed me.
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