See Spot Fix: Entourage

If I think back far enough, I can remember a time when I was fascinated with the HBO series "Entourage." I remember thinking it was some of the best and most original entertainment on television. I remember longing for the next chance to see the sex-and-drug-filled exploits of E, Drama, Turtle, and Vince (in that order). I remember not being able to wait to hear the newest hateful banter between Ari and Lloyd. I remember becoming filled with excitement as the opening credits rolled, beaming as I heard the iconic "Yeah, oh yeah" at the end of the intro music. Yes, there was indeed a time when "Entourage" was an unstoppable TV force to be reckoned with, sitting atop my list of must-watch programs. But that was long ago. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

It's no secret that the past few seasons of "Entourage" have been less than stellar. Sure, I still watch the show, but more so as a result of feelings of obligation to a social phenomenon than a true desire to catch up on the characters' newest happenings. And with the show signed on for one more season after the one airing now, I figured it might be time to try my hand at remedying some of the show's biggest stumbling blocks. So follow along as I try and pull "Entourage" from the ashes and turn it back into the entertainment powerhouse it once was.

• Drama: No, I'm not talking about Johnny "Drama" Chase. I'm talking about actual, palpable drama. Yes, I understand this show is primarily a comedy, but as a serialized show with an ongoing storyline, there needs to be some underlying tension in order to keep the viewer interested. Last season's storyline with Andrew Klein came close, but preferred to err on the side of laughably ridiculous (like Andrew driving through the side of his house) rather than really and truly emotional. I'm not saying this show has to bring me to tears. And I'm not saying that it has to sacrifice it's sense of humor in the process. Look at "True Blood" for example. That show is a drama, through and through. However, I still find myself laughing out loud very often during an episode of that show, even more so than recent episodes of "Entourage." You know why? Because the characters have realistic emotions and struggle with believable problems that I can relate to, and I connect with them emotionally whether they are being funny, serious, melancholy, or furious. And that show is about vampires and werewolves, for crying out loud! The bottom line is these characters need to be in some serious trouble, and not just Ari-hunting-Lloyd-with-a-super-soaker trouble. Perhaps Turtle's upcoming trip to Mexico may harbor some ill-advised choices that land the money-strapped lad in a spicy situation. Maybe Vince's recent brush with death pushes him further and further towards a career-threatening nervous breakdown about his current lifestyle. Either of these would be preferable to the childish, guilt-free gallivanting these super rich man-children do from week to week. "Oh no, E's coworker is trying to steal Vince from him. Oh no, Drama doesn't have a job. Oh no, E is settling down." WHO THE HELL CARES!?
• 
  Maturity: I honestly cannot fathom how anyone over the age of 30 can watch this show without wanting to violently tear their hair out. Heck, I'm not that old and I even want to sometimes. The characters and conflicts on this show are just too damn immature. Maybe E and Turtle have done some growing up, but Vince and Drama (and Ari a lot of the time) literally act like high school students. And this new character Scott Lavin is the worst offender in the group. Maybe the draw of the earlier seasons of the show was watching these suddenly rich young idiots buy expensive things, party way too much, take cheap-shots at each other and fondle unbelievably gorgeous women. But in its seventh season, not only does this come off as old news and lazy writing, it leads me to believe that these characters, now in their mid thirties (Vince is 33 and  Drama is definitely over 40), are just sad immature douches. Sure, it is fine for someone in the spotlight to enjoy a Hollywood party from time to time, and it made sense for them to live lives of debauchery and excess seven years ago. But many 30-something actors in the real world (Ben Affleck, Josh Duhamel, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Tobey Maguire, Jimmy Fallon, Orlando Bloom) are married and many have children. How much longer am I expected to beleive that this is how men of that age, even rich Hollywood men of that age, really want to carry out their lives? It's depressing, and as a result, I feel childish even watching it.
• Talent: One of my favorite things about this show was getting to see clips of the fictional movies and TV shows the characters starred in. Scenes from Queens Boulevard, Aquaman, Medellin, and Smoke Jumpers were a lot of fun to watch. Not only was it cool to see how the writers and directors of the show framed these fake productions, but it was also interesting to see the characters of Vince and Drama perform on screen as actors. It validated what they were doing, made me beleive that they deserved to be where they were because they had real talent, and helped me overlook their otherwise childish exploits. So where are these fun snip-its? I don't remember seeing much of anything from Vince's extremely successful Gatsby film, and we also know nothing about the Ferrari film he went to shoot at the end of last season. Give me some more cool shots the Nick Cassavetes action flick Vince is currently in. And I'm not just talking about watching it being filmed from behind the scenes; I want to see it as it would appear on my TV if I was watching the actual film itself. And if we don't get to watch actual footage of the comedy show Drama is about to star in, I might cry. These are great little moments that are too few and far between for my taste.
• Celebrities: My other favorite moments of seasons past have been watching real life celebrities play themselves on the show. But I'm not talking about the ho-hum cameos from Mark Wahlberg, Tom Brady, and David Shwimmer from last season, where they simply acted like they do in reality. I am talking about the actors who play absurd characterizations of themselves for the show, like Gary Busey, Jeffery Tambor, Seth Green, and, of course, Bob Saget. We saw Saget on last week's episode, and he was hilarious. Let's hope we see more worthwhile cameos of a similar flavor instead of boring walk-ons like the one we saw from Adrian Peterson last week. Sure, it's cool Vince got to talk to a famous football player. But did it really add any humor or narrative to the story? Me thinks not.

Unfortunately, my list of grievances goes on: the lack of any character development or growth, the lack of strong female characters (besides Mrs. Ari), the retreading of familiar plot points, the copious amounts of free time they guys seem to have, but I think you get the idea. The bottom line is "Entourage" has fallen quite far from its once high spot on the TV totem pole, but I think that with the proper plotting, it could get back on track. Here's hoping that before the series comes to a final close, the show can recapture some its old magic.

5,000 Hits!

Big milestone. Thanks for reading everyone!

Extreme Blog Makeover!

As you can now plainly see, Poposaurus has gone through some changes, thanks to Blogger's new and improved template editor. But this is a mere test run, and I'd love to get some feedback. Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Suggestions? Leave them so I can try an alter accordingly. And as always, thanks for reading!

Stupid Pop Culture News: the REAL "Weekend at Bernie's"

Ok, so these stories might be old news, but they are so ridiculous, hilarious and morbid at the same time that it simply must be shared. Apparently, last month, two British women tried to smuggle a dead relative onto a flight out of England. According to IGN.com, "the dynamic, death-ignoring duo plopped a 91-year-old man into a wheelchair, gave him a pair of shades and tried to push him aboard a plane," a la the 1989 comedy movie Weekend at Bernie's. Apparently, they ensured wary unlookers that he was simply asleep and not dead. The full report from Fox News goes as follows:

"The suspects pushed the 91-year-old man in a wheelchair and covered his face with sunglasses during a bid to board him on their flight to Berlin, sources said. The women, aged 41 and 66, were said to have protested that the deceased was merely asleep when probed by officials Saturday at Liverpool John Lennon Airport.It is believed the pair somehow managed to ferry the corpse in a taxi from their home in Oldham, northwestern England, to the terminal. But the alleged attempt to smuggle the body to Germany was foiled after airport staff started asking questions. 'Police at Liverpool John Lennon Airport were alerted to the death of a 91-year-old man in the terminal building,' a police spokesman said. 'Two women aged 41 and 66 were arrested on suspicion of failing to give notification of death. They have been released on bail until June 1, 2010. The coroner has been informed and police are continuing with their inquiries.'

You can check out the stories on both IGN and Fox News.


Stranger still, this has happened before in New York City back in 2009! Apparently, two 65-year old men rolled a dead man seated in an office chair through the streets of Manhattan and went into a money exchanging stores, where they allegedly tried to cash the deceased's social security check. You can find that whole story here.

Just goes to show you that even the stupidest and most far fetched movie premises can still be imitated...by idiots, of course. Let's just hope we don't get a story about two doofuses throwing a party and stringing up their dead boss like a marionette to make him dance around. Ugh, I just gave myself the willies.

Summer Listening Assignments

Listen up, children, because class is officially in session. Now, originally we had a trip planned to the local public library so I could assign you all some summer reading. However, instead, I thought it would be more fun if we--Bobby stop screwing around back there! Ahem, sorry. As I was saying, it would be more fun if we took a trip to my iTunes library so I can assign you all some summer listening to do. If there is any time of year that is conducive to expanding your musical horizons, it is in the hot heat of the summer sun. Whether it be at the beach, by the pool, or what have you, there seems to be much more time to log some hours on the good ol' MP3 player. But instead of retreading old favorites--how many times can you actually listen to the Hall and Oates greatest hits album anyway (if you're me, A LOT)--I have chosen three albums from less-than-mainstream artists for you to download and soak up. Now, these albums are in no way new. In fact, they are all just about two years old. However, these are bands that everyone should be well briefed in, and I have tried to choose albums that works as the best introduction to their music and style. So lather on the sun tan lotion, place some cucumber slices over your eyes, shove in those ear-buds, and prepare for some good old fashioned learning. And be sure to take notes--this will ALL be on the exam.

The Raconteurs- Consolers of the Lonely (May 2008)
One of Jack White's many side projects, The Raconteurs were a recommendation from my musically-astute cousin. At first I was apprehensive; while some the White Stripes' songs turned me on, many were just a bit too dirty and "out there" for my taste. However, I found The Raconteurs too be a much more focused and palatable music experience. And their most recent album, Consolers of the Lonely, does a great job of showing off their many styles and influences. More than a few times, bands like Led Zeppelin, The Who and the Rolling Stones come to mind while perusing this albums varied terrain. And that is what I believe lends the band it's appeal: there really is something for everyone here, from the grungy "Consolers of the Lonely," to the folky "Old Enough," to the pump-up rock "Hold Up" and "Salute your Solution," to the extremely catchy and radio-worthy "Many Shades of Black." Sure, the album loses a bit of steam towards the end and begins to unravel a bit, but once you've made it that far, you should already be more than content with what Consolers of the Lonely has to offer.
Four-play: "Consolers of the Lonely"; "You Don't Understand Me"; "Top Yourself"; "Many Shades of Black"
Extra Credit: "Steady as She Goes," Broken Boy Soldiers

The Hold Steady- Stay Positive (July 2008)
It was a hard choice for me between this band's most recent two albums (Stay Positive and Heaven is Whenever), and while you really couldn't go wrong with either, I personally have found more of a personal connection with the former. For those of you unacquainted, The Hold Steady is a Brooklyn-based rock band known for their storytelling and lead signer Craig Finn's rough-and-tumble "singing" voice. They have steadily increased in popularity over the past few years, having toured with bands like the Rolling Stones, the Counting Crows, Kings of Leon, and the Dave Matthews Band. And while their style does borrow elements from each one of these bands (some more than others), I find The Hold Steady's sound to be quite unique. This band has the ability to paint vivid pictures in your mind and tell interesting stories with their music, with tracks on Stay Positive placing the listener at different times in a backwater Texas bar, a Midwestern college campus, and a hipster street in Williamsburg. And while it may be the interesting instrumentation (lots of piano and even a harpsichord) or catchy, sing-a-long choruses that first grab you, it will be the emotional stories Stay Positive tells that will keep you coming back for seconds.
Four-play: "Sequestered in Memphis"; "One for the Cutters"; "Yeah Sapphire"; "Joke About Jamaica"
Extra Credit: "The Smidge," Heaven is Whenever

Death Cab for Cutie- Narrow Stairs (May 2008)
This is one of the bands that I think some people are afraid to even listen to. Their name sounds like an emo-punk band (which they most assuredly are NOT), and many of their songs are disconnected journeys through some deep and disturbing emotions. However, I assure you, you will not regret taking the dive with Narrow Stairs. While I agree the band's previous efforts may have been a bit emotionally daunting (a few tracks off of Transatlanticism still tug at my heart strings more than I am willing to admit), their most recent album has struck a great balance for the more apprehensive listeners out there. The Onion AV Club put in nicely by calling the band's work on this album "indie-gone-mainstream," and I think it has enough remnants of both to please fans that fall in either category. Ben Gibbard's vocals are as beautiful and piercing as ever (for those of you who don't know, he is also the lead singer of The Postal Service), and the tracks do a great job of flickering between haunting melodies and true rock-and-roll jams. It is all done in a very smart manner, making Narrow Stairs without a doubt the most widely appealing of the band's many albums, and quite possibly their best work to date.
Four-play: "I Will Possess Your Heart"; "Cath..."; "Long Division"; "Pity and Fear"
Extra Credit: "The Sound of Settling," Transatlanticism

Trailer-mania: small tastes of some strong movies on the horizon

For those of you that may have missed it, the trailer for the new Harry Potter film was released a few days ago. Simply jaw-dropping. Got me thinking about a bunch of upcoming movies that have me excited. But instead of explain them in great detail to ya'll, I think you'll get a better idea for why I pumped by watching their trailers. So, here are the trailers from the movies on the horizon that have me really excited.

Little Fockers
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1672152601/

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1638598169/

The Green Hornet
http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi616236569/

Megamind
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3915712281/


Salt
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi1651574553/

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi983893529/

Inception
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi2165180185/

**BONUS ROUND**: First images of the costume designs for the Captain America (starring Chris Evans) and Thor (starring Chris Hemsworth) movies (note- these are computer generated concepts using the actors' faces, so that's why they look a bit stange):
http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/capam1LARGEUSE.jpg
http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/capam2LARGEUSE.jpg
http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/capam3LARGEUSE.jpg
http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/capam4LARGEUSE.jpg
http://www.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/thor_concept_art_chris_hemsworth_01.jpg
http://www.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/thor_concept_art_chris_hemsworth_02.jpg

Futurama Week, Post #3: Episode Spotting

It is the third and final day of Futurama Week here at PopREX, so it is time for the last Futurama-themed article: a selection of The Spot's favorite episodes. And don't forget: the new season "Futurama" premieres tonight, 6/24/10, at 10pm on Comedy Central.

The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings

Plot: In an attempt to win Leela's heart, Fry begins learning how to play the holophonor, a musical instrument which translates the notes being played into vibrant visual images. His progress is too slow, so he decides to make a deal with Robot Devil to exchange hands with one robot chosen completely at random. Out of pure chance, however, that robot ends up being none other then the Robot Devil himself. The two exchange hands, and equipped with his new bionic appendages, Fry quickly becomes the best holophonor player in the world. He decides to use his new-found talents to write an opera about Leela's life in an effort to woo her. In the meantime, however, the Robot Devil sets in motion a convoluted string of events which end up with Leela promising him her hands--in marriage, that is. The episode culminates in a musical conflict between Fry and the Robot Devil, and Fry eventually decides to give him back his hands to prevent the Robot Devil from marrying Leela, thus foreclosing any chance Fry may have at a future relationship with her. With his old, fleshy hands back in place, Fry is no longer able to play the holophonor, and his opera crashes and burns. However, at its end, only one viewer remains in the audience: an emotionally moved Leela.
Why it Made the List: This episode is one of may favorites for many reasons. First, Hedonismbot gets major face-time in it, which is always a plus. Second, the musical number at the end of the episode is not only funny, but well written and actually very catchy. Finally, this episode was intended as the original series finale of the show, and the warm moment at the end between Fry and Leela stands in nice contrast to her usual rejection of him.
Favorite Quotes:  

• Bender: Sure, I can help you, but we might have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil, and by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
• Robot Devil: [drops to his knees, staring at Fry's fleshy hands] Oh, give me back my hands! These things are always touching me in... places.
  Fry: Heh, yeah, they get around.

The Farnsworth Parabox
Plot: After a loud explosion, Professor Farnsworth addresses the Planet Express crew while holding a yellow cardboard box. He explains that the box contains his most dangerous creation to date, and it must be destroyed by throwing it into the sun. In the meantime, however, he forbids the crew from looking inside the box, and orders Leela to guard it. She eventually succumbs to temptation after a coin flip, and takes a peek inside. What she finds in the box is a parallel universe in which the results of coin-flips come out the opposite way (resulting in some minor differences between the characters). Eventually, all of the Planet Express crew members from Universe A (except for Hermes-A) make their way into the parallel universe (labeled Universe 1), and fearing that their doppelgangers are evil, are ordered to spend time with their counterparts to ensure they can be trusted. When the two Zoidbergs get together, however, they agree that they are fed up with being treated poorly by the other crew members, and scheme to steal the blue cardboard box which contains Universe A. Farnsworth-A soon realizes that the Universe A crew must return home before Hermes-A throws the box into the sun, thus completely destroying Universe 1 and everyone in it. The two crews are then forced to pursue the two Zoidbergs through a series of unlabeled cardboard boxes containing other strange universes (such as one where no one has any faces and one where everyone is a robot) until they locate the original blue box and are able to return home just in time.
Why it Made the List: This episode functions as both a great contained incident of hilarity and an example of how the show makes use of many science-fiction cliches in unique and comedic ways. Also, when the crew jumps into Universe 420 and find hippie Farnsworth, and Farnsworth-A tells him to get a job; priceless.
Favorite Quotes:

• Leela-1: Fine, you be crummy Universe "A", and we'll be Universe "1".
  Fry-1: Yeah, or the Mongooses, that's a good team name. "The Fighting Mongooses."
• Fry-A: Oh wow, it's like that drug trip I saw in that movie while I was on that drug trip.
• Farnsworth 420: Dig it! All of you living in this box is like seriously freaked up!
  Farnsworth-A: Nonsense. There's a whole universe in there.
  Farnsworth 420: Dude, there's a universe in all of us.

Love's Labors Lost in Space
Plot: Professor Farnsworth sends Bender, Fry, and Leela on a mission to Vergon 6, a hollowed-out planet destine to collapse upon itself. The teams directive is to collect two of each animal from the dying planet, a la Noah's Ark. When the crew arrives, however, they find the planet surrounded by the Democratic Order of Planets (DOOP) military, led by the misogynistic and incompetent Zapp Brannigan. The crew boards Brannigan's ship and explain their mission. Brannigan does not let them proceed, however, explaining that DOOP does not allow interference with underdeveloped planets (even though it was DOOP that hollowed out Vergon 6 in the first place). When Leela tries to defy Brannigan's order, he throws the crew in prison. At night, Zapp summons Leela to his chambers, where she rebuffs his poor attempts at seduction. Zapp then breaks down crying, saying that he feels lonely in his job and that he had hoped Leela, a fellow captain, would understand. Overcome with pity, Leela eventually has sex with Zapp, but wakes up the next morning in horror after she realizes what has happened. In return, Zapp releases the crew and allows them to travel to Vergon 6, believing that Leela will crawl back to him. The team heads to the planet and begins rounding up animals, including a cute three-eyed alien who Leela names Nibbler and takes home as her pet. Suddenly, the planet begins to collapse, and Leela is forced to begrudgingly ask Brannigan for help escaping.
Why it Made the List: As mentioned in yesterday's article, Zapp Brannigan is quite possibly the most hilarious character on the show. And the scenes between him and Leela in this episode are some of the funniest in the entire history of the show. Also, this episode introduces Nibbler, who becomes and important character in future episodes (such as "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid" below).
Favorite Quotes:

• Zapp Brannigan: You want the rest of the cham-paggin?
  Leela: No, and it's pronounced "cham-pain". 
• Zapp: In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.
• Zapp: So, crawling back to the big Z like a bird on its belly. Delicious.
  Leela: Birds don't crawl.
  Zapp: They'd been known to.

Parasites Lost
Plot: While on a mission in space, the Plane Express crew stop at a truck-stop, where Fry purchases an egg salad sandwich from a vending machine in the bathroom. Later, back on Earth, Fry and Bender are injured while fixing a boiler which explodes. However, Fry's wounds heal miraculously quickly, and a medical examination reveals that he has contracted an infestation of microscopic worms from the egg salad, which repaired him. The other members of the crew use tiny robotic clones of themselves to enter Fry's body and eliminate the worms while Leela distracts him. She soon realize that worms are doing Fry a wealth of good, making him stronger, smarter and more sensitive--everything she wants in a man. She decides to send herself into Fry's body and stop the crew before they can reach his pelvic splanchnic ganglion and force him to evacuate the worms from his system. She succeeds, and returns to the new and improved Fry. However, a slip of the tongue informs Fry of what has been going on, and realizing that Leela is only in love with him because of his worms, he sends a mini-robot of himself into his body to deal with the worms once and for all.
Why it Made the List: This is another great example of how this show takes science-fiction cliches and turns them on their heads, and is great spoof of the classic Sci-Fi film "The Fantastic Voyage." This episodes also contain a lot of funny set-pieces, like the statute of Fry the worms created within his bowels labeled "The Known Universe."
Favorite Quotes:

• Leela: You're not going to eat a sandwich from a truck stop men's room, are you?
  Fry: Eh, what's the worst thing that could happen? [Takes a bite] Ugh, it's like a party in my mouth, and everyone's throwing up. 
• Hermes: [Cruising around Fry's muscles] Soon he'll be stronger and more flexible than Hercules and Gumby combined!
  Zoidberg: Gumbercules? I love that guy!
• Zoidberg: [scrapes cholesterol off Fry's artery] It's good cholesterol, but it spreads like bad cholesterol.

The Day the Earth Stood Stupid
Plot: The Plane Express crew discovers an odd pattern of destroyed planets, leading right to Earth. Upon hearing this news, Leela's pet Nibbler begins to yip uncontrollably, and runs away. Leela gives chase down an alley, but she is ambushed by a gang of giant floating alien brains. Nibbler comes to her rescue in a tiny rocket ship, and two fly off towards the Hall of Eternium on Nibbler's home planet. Upon arriving, Leela is introduced to a council of highly intelligent Nibblonians, who explain that they have been warring with the evil Brainspawn for thousands of years. They tell Leela that the brains use a "power of stupidity" to make all the inhabitants of a planet incredibly stupid, resulting in that world's eventual destruction. They further explain that there is only one person capable of withstanding the Brainspawn's powers: Fry, as he lacks the necessary "Delta brainwave," rendering him innately stupid and thus completely immune to the "power of stupidity." Nibbler was sent to Earth to ensure Fry's safety and success in defeating the brains, and now it is Leela's job to return to Earth, inform Fry of his destiny, and conquer the Brainspawn once and for all. Back on Earth, Fry cant figure out why everyone is acting so stupid. Once Leela reenters Earth's atmosphere, she also becomes braindead, but somehow retains enough intellect to relay the message to Fry. The episode culminates in an epic battle between Fry and the Brainspawn leader at--where else--the public library.
Why it Made the List: This episode is a good example of how "Futurama" can often times retain serial elements, as its storyline is a continuation of "Love's Labors Lost in Space," and a sets up future episodes like "Roswell that Ends Well" and "The Why of Fry." Also, watching the already dumb Earthicans act even stupider once the Brainspawn arrive is a true treat.
Favorite Quotes:

• Fry: Come on, Fry, think. Thinking... thinking...
  Chief Giant Brain: Oh, Stop that!
  Fry: Hey, thinking hurts them! Maybe I can think of a way to use that. 
• Fry: Doctor Zoidberg, why is everyone acting so weird?
  Dr. Zoidberg: Zoidbie want balloon! Want balloon now! Zoidbie want go outside!
  Fry: But I just let you in!
• Farnsworth: Duh, I know, let's play the lottery.
  Amy: No, let's buy internet stock.
  Dr. Zoidberg: On margin. Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.
  Hermes: [holding a board in front of his face] Look at me. I'm invisible.
  Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.
  Bender: Hey, let's all join the Reform party.
  Everyone: Yeah. 

Honorable Mentions

• "Time Keeps on Slipping"
• "The Sting"
• "Godfellas"
• "Fry and the Slurm Factory"

Futurama Week, Post #2: Character Spotting

It is day 2 of Futurama Week here at PopREX, and that means it is time for The Spot's favorite secondary characters. Now, the way I see it, there are four main characters on the show: Fry, Leela, Bender, and Professor Farnsworth. These four characters make up the heart and soul of the Planet Express delivery crew, and generally get the most face time on the show. And while other crew members like Amy and Hermes make their way into most episodes, I have decided that all characters other than Fry, Leela, Bender, and Farnsworth are fair game for this list. So then, without further ado, let the character spotting begin!

Dr. Zoidberg
Some may argue that Dr. Zoidberg is too central a character to qualify for this list. However, I have decided to not care what those people think, mainly because ever since I watched my first episode of "Futurama," I immediately knew that Zoidberg was my favorite character. The only alien member of the Planet Express crew, Zoidberg is the company's medical specialist. However, the term "specialist" should be used lightly. Most of Zoidberg's attempts at medicine act as demonstrations of his lack of knowledge regarding the human anatomy, such as his assumption that Fry is missing a dorsal fin and should have more than one mouth. To add to the hilarity, he is quite poor and appears to be homeless, jumping at the chance to consume any type of food whatsoever (more often that not, garbage). Zoidberg is also the Planet Express crew's perennial punching bag, constantly taking the blame when things go wrong. He is the show's biggest underdog, and is lovable for that reasons alone. But for all we know about Dr. Zoidberg, there are many questions that remain unanswered, such as: Did he ever really graduate from medical school? Probably not. Is he Jewish? Who knows. Does he really have a cousin named Zoidfarb? One can only assume. Does he like to scuttle around like a crab? You bet!

• Zoidberg: I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar
• Zoidberg: Only $14.99 for a two-record set? Two records! Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're becoming a crafty consumer! [Dials the phone] Hello? I'll take eight!
• Zoidberg: Now, if you'll excuse me, there is some ravioli on the floor with only two footprints on it. [Bender walks by] Three footprints. [Zoidberg drops to the floor and starts eating noisily]
• Zoidberg: In my experience, boxes are usually empty, or maybe with a little cheese stuck to the top. And one time, pepperoni. What a day that was!

Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan is probably the most popular recurring character among casual and die hard "Futurama" fans alike. Brannigan is a high ranking officer of the Democratic Order of Planets (DOOP) military, and captain of the Nimbus spaceship. He is also completely incompetent, terribly misogynistic, unreasonably cocky, and perhaps even a bit bi-curious. Normally, such a character would make up for his mental shortcomings with an excess of brawn. Unfortunately for Zapp, he is also overweight and out of shape (and the short red velor uniform/dress he wears doesn't leave much to the imagination). Luckily, Zapp is too stupid to truly recognize his shortcomings. Instead, he spends most of his days sending his loyal troops on suicide missions, trying to win the heart of Leela, mispronouncing words like "champagne" (sham-pag-en) and "guacamole" (gwak-uh-mole), mixing metaphors, and generally making life for his melancholy lieutenant Kif Kroker completely and totally miserable. Here's hoping Zapp's exploits (sexual and otherwise) continue into the new season.

• Zapp: Welcome to my humble chamber. Or as I call it, "The Lovenasium".
• Zapp: [To Kif] As my protégé you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her. [Pause] This time we are sure she's female, right?
• Zapp: Now you're officially my woman. Kudos! I can't say I don't envy you.
• Zapp: I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
• Zapp: If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What did I call it?
  Kif: [groans] ...sexlexia.

Hedonismbot
I have to agree with FatFat McWhoDat on this one. Hedonismbot is one of the most hilarious and tragically underutilized characters on "Futurama." He also represents the true wackiness and absurdity underlying every episode of the show. As described in yesterday's articles, Hedonismbot is the robot embodiment of the hedonism school of ethics, which believes pleasure is the only intrinsic good. Thus Hedonismbot lives in constant decadence and overdoes just about everything. For example, he is made of solid gold, is constantly in a reclining position, and spends most of his time feeding grapes to himself off of his bulbous stomach (when he isn't being painted with chocolate icing, of course). But the true absurdity of Hedonismbot presents itself when you try and imagine the purpose for which he was created. You see, most of the robots in the "Futurama" universe seem to have been created with some job in mind (though not all follow their designated career path). Bender, for example, was designed to bend girders. Dr. Perceptron was built to diagnose and treat criminally insane robots. Trying to figure out exactly how or why Hedonismbot was created is a much more challenging task, and I think that is part of why the character is so hilarious.

• Hedonismbot: Your latest performance was as delectable as dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams.
• Hedonismbot: But I'm not done vomiting!
• Hedonismbot: Surgery in an opera? How wonderfully decadent! And just when I was beginning to lose interest... Djambi, the chocolate icing! [Djambi begins painting chocolate icing onto Hedonism Bot's stomach] 
• Hedonismbot: That's ludicrous! Almost like saying I don't like a good power sanding of my nipples. [power sands his nipples] ooooh aaaah"

Lrrr and Nd-Nd
As king and queen of the planet Omicron Persei 8, Lrrr and Nd-Nd pose the greatest threat to Earth, and have invaded the planet on many occasions. However, in reality, Lrrr and Nd-Nd are much like the older married Earthican couples, just much bigger, greener, and uglier. In fact, most of the conflicts between Earth and the Omicronians are grounded in some simple cultural misunderstandings. For example, in the episode "When Aliens Attack," Lrrr and Nd-Nd wage war on Earth when the show "Single Female Lawyer" (a spoof of "Alley Mcbeal") suddenly goes off the air, when in reality it had been off the air for over 1000 years, but the signal was reaching Omicron Persei 8 on an extremely long delay. Lrrr and Nd-Nd have also shown their softer side on a few occasions, and at one point became completely smitten after being introduced to Big Foot, finding the lumbering beast to be irresistibly cute. And that just proves the old adage: deep down, even gross aliens who devour human beings whole can sometimes not be complete jerks.

• Nd-Nd: Oh, I don't know. Lrrr used to be so tender.
  Lrrr: [groans] I only wrote that poem to test my printer!
• Lrrr: [Eating candy hearts] These candies are chalky and unpleasant!
  Nd-Nd: And what is this emotion you humans call "wuv"?
  Lrrr: Surely it says "love".
  Nd-Nd: No, "wuv", with an Earth W. Behold.
  Lrrr: This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! 
• Lrrr: [watching "FRIENDS"] This is ancient Earth's most foolish program. Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
  Nd-Nd: Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps.

Scruffy
Scruffy works for the Planet Express delivery company as the janitor. He likes porn. Oh, and he also owns four times as many shares of Planet Express stock than any of its other employees. And...um...yeah, that's about it.

• Bender: Who the hell is he?
  Scruffy: I'm Scruffy... the janitor.  
• Bender: Who are you?
  Scruffy: Scruffy. I'm the janitor.
  Bender: Then why aren't you fixing the boiler?
  Scruffy: Schedule conflict. [Scruffy slowly flips the pages of the magazine "Zero-G Jugs"]
• Leela: Who are you?
  Scruffy: Scruffy, the janitor.
  Leela: I've never seen you before.
  Scruffy: I've never seen you before neither.
• Scruffy: Scruffy's gonna die the way he lived. [Scruffy slowly flips the pages of "Zero-G Jugs"]

Futurama Week, Post #1: Reader's Editorial- "Futurama: The Simpsons in Renaissance"

For those of you unaware, the epic-yet-under-appreciated cartoon series "Futurama" is returning to TV after a 7 year hiatus with new episodes this Thursday, 6/24, at 10:00pm on Comedy Central. Needless to say, the few of us who really got a chance to appreciate the show when it was on the air and in syndication are very excited for its return. Thus, I have decided to dedicate this week to the show, and for the next three days up until the Thursday night premiere, I will be posting "Futurama"-themed articles. Today (Tuesday) is a reader's submission evaluating why the show's unique blend of comedy is so fresh. Tomorrow (Wednesday) I will posting a detailed list of my favorite tangential characters. Thursday, the day of the premiere, I will close with a summary of a few of my favorite "Futurama" episodes. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a trip down the futuristic memory lane, culminating with the premiere of the new season of "Futurama" this Thursday night at 10.

[The following article is the second submission from our faithful reader FatFat McWhoDat. If you are interested in submitting your own article, click here for more information about our weekly reader's editorial. Enjoy!]

Its probably been 10 years since "The Simpsons" had an all together epic season of quality programming. The show's recent work certainly brings chuckles to the viewer, but not the full-on-belly-laughs from slap stick comedy wonderfully melded into articulate social and political satire of its early shows. Of course, the writing team has had plenty of roll over since the glorious early days of the show, and through 20+ years the characters have simply encountered every imaginable situation, leaving fresh plot ideas few and far between. However, I'd like to propose an alternate hypothesis as to why "The Simpsons" of the last decade hasn't met the Herculean standard set by its earlier seasons.  Matt Groening was working on another project. Not the much hyped, but somewhat poorly received Simpsons movie mind you, but rather a pet project he embarked upon with David X. Cohen called "Futurama."

"Futurama" captured everything Groening strived to create with the Simpsons, and moreover served as a proving ground for his new ideas. If "The Simpsons" represents Giotto of the early Italian renaissance, then Groening created his Michelangelo with "Futurama." The show uses Groening's own Simpson family as the precedent of its genre, as do "South Park" and "Family Guy," two other notable adult-oriented comedic animations. "The Simpsons" used the classic "Leave it to Beaver" sit-com formula of a standard family living in standard suburbia during the present day, thus creating a suitably comfortable platform from which to launch an entire new genre that has drastically changed television: satirical cartoons for adults.  "The Simpsons'" new genre is perhaps epitomized by the fantastical experiences in which these animated characters are allowed to partake, since their cartoon--hence imaginary--universe doesn't need to make sense. Homer could never work in a leaky nuclear power plant in real life. Nor could Maggie stay so perfectly youthful. Moreover Bart's attempted jump over Springfield Canyon could never have been portrayed accurately by real life actors. By bringing the idea of adult entertainment to cartoons, Matt Groening had brought ironic, absurd humor to an unprecedented level on television with "The Simpsons." With "Futurama," he took it a step further.

Since "Futurama" is set 1000 years in the future, the narratives usually operate under the assumption that  anything science fiction is possible, from time travel to nanotechnology; therefore allowing Groening's absurd sense of humor to reach an ever greater scope than the Simpsons' thence-archaic technological present. However, his truest stroke of perfection comes in Futurama's most lovable persona: Fry. By placing a pretty awkward, generally stupid character at the center of the series, Groening seized his audience's heart and imagination. Anyone can imagine the possibilities of being magically transported to 1000 years in the future. With the amount of technological innovation in the last 10 years, simply playing a video game in the year 3000 would probably be the experience of a lifetime for us old-timey 21st century folk.

My favorite part of Futurama however has to be the plethora of tangential characters. From Nixon's head to Hypnotoad, Groening systematically created a character for every stereotype. From ultra-rich foreigners (The Wongs) to the incessantly overdramatic soap drama star (Calculon, pictured), to my personal favorite Hedonism bot (based off of the Greek deity Bacchus and the hedonism movement in general), Futurama's extended cast finds every niche in today's society, and exploits each hilariously on screen to the delight of the viewer, much in the esteem of the Simpsons' great tradition. 

So if you're looking for intellectual hilarity seamlessly blended with slapstick comedy, strap on your space boots and get yourself some new Futurama this summer.

Why the Nintendo 3DS is the "Future of Gaming"

Let me preface this article with a sympathetic word to the non-gamers out there reading this. Please be advised that I do NOT intend for PopREX to become a video game blog. However, if you are unaware, we are currently smack in the middle of the Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles (E3), the number one biggest video game event of the year. I would be doing you all (as well as the geeky gamer within me) a great disservice if I didn't at least do a little coverage thereof. But bare with me; non-gamer content is most assuredly on the way. ;)

Now, originally my plan was to do a full blow out of the Big Three's press conferences (that is Nintendo's, Microsoft's, and Sony's), breaking down each and every announcement the companies made and comparing them head-to-head to pick a winner. But in the interest of time and sanity, I have decided to forgo the preceding, and will instead focus on what many in the gaming world believe to be the most impressive piece of tech unveiled at E3 this year: the Nintendo 3DS. However, I will give you a brief (and I use that term lightly) outline of my take on how the Big Three performed this time around.

In my opinion, Nintendo absolutely blew away the competition this year. With a HUGE line up of jaw-dropping 1st party exclusives (new Zelda, new Donkey Kong Country, new Metroid, new Kirby, Mario Sports Mix, new GOLDENEYE!!) and the extremely exciting new 3DS handheld, Microsoft and Sony simply couldn't compete. As for second place, I have to give the edge to Sony over Microsoft, and that is only a slight edge. In reality, both companies had very similar showings. Both had very tasty exclusives: Sony had LittleBigPlanet 2, Killzone 3, Gran Turismo 5, Infamous 2, SOCOM 4, and the new Twisted Metal; Microsoft had Gears of War 3, Halo: Reach, Fable 3, and the new Forza Motorsport. Both displayed wow-filled demos of games coming to both systems, like Call of Duty: Black Ops, the new Medal of Honor, Portal 2, Metal Gear Solid: Rising, and Dead Space 2. However, what gave Sony the edge in my mind was not the software but the hardware. Anyone who follows the game industry knows that both Sony and Microsoft will soon enter the motion-controlled gaming market with their products the Move and Kinect, respectively.

Both of these new products were demoed, but I simply found Microsoft's Kinect (a controller-free camera device) to be very underwhelming. All of the games that were shown utilizing the Kinect were either minigame collections or fitness/dance titles. These just didn't prove that this device would revolutionize the industry in anyway, at least for real gamers. The Move, on the other hand, showed some real promise. While the tech maybe be less original (very much a Wii remote with a bulb on the end for enhanced motion tracking), Sony showed that it will truly enhance real hardcore gaming, with titles like Sorcery (where the device was used as a wand in a Harry Potter-esque adventure), SOCOM 4, and Heroes on the Move. Furthermore, Sony announced that the Move will be usable for many great titles already on store shelves, such as Resident Evil 5, Heavy Rain, and Tiger Woods 11. Simply put, Microsoft did not prove to me that their new motion hardware has any real hardcore gaming implications, something that Sony did in spades. As for the other announcements the two companies made, Sony pushed the PS3's new 3D capabilities, and Microsoft unveiled a new slim version of the Xbox 360. Neither of these in my mind are real game changers: the home theater 3D equipment that the PS3 requires is just too damn expensive, and the slim Xbox 360 does nothing new that the other systems haven't been doing for years (smaller size, quieter performance, built in WiFi, no red ring of death). So there you have it. In my honest opinion, Nintendo wins this E3, followed by a distant Sony, with Microsoft closely trailing in third place.

Phew, okay. Let me catch my breath here, because I don't want to lose focus on what has me really and truly excited: the Nintendo 3DS. As you know (or should know), Nintendo has consistently had a stranglehold on the handheld gaming market, from as early as the original GameBoy, and most recently with the dual-screened DS (which had sold over 125 million units as of the end of last year). And while each iteration has had its fair share of advancements, I don't think anything we've seen from the game industry has been this jaw-dropping since the N64 and PlayStation gave us our first taste of polygonal, fully rendered three-dimensional game worlds. Now, granted, I haven't actually seen the 3DS in action. But I've read about it. A LOT. And I am prepared to back this device wholeheartedly. And have I ever lead you astray in the past (let's not bring up MacGruber)?

So what is the 3DS? Well I'm glad that you asked. What a good looking question. The 3DS is Nintendo's new portable gaming system demoed at E3 this year. The system boasts some really impressive features. First, it supposedly has more graphic processing power than the Wii (we don't really have the full specs on the system's processing technology, but here is a video that should give you an idea of what this thing is capable of). Now granted, the Wii is not itself the most beautiful gaming platform out there. However, some Wii games are truly gorgeous (take Super Mario Galaxy for example), and to imagine such a game in the palm of your hand is alone astounding. It is the next piece of info that really has gamers excited for the 3DS. Not only will the system's graphics be better than the Wii's, but it will also feature FULL STEREOSCOPIC 3D without the need for 3D glasses! The 3DS uses a unique LCD system which outputs two different images to each of your eyes, removing the need for the cumbersome 3D glasses while still creating the jaw-dropping depth seen in films like Avatar and How to Train your Dragon. And early opinions from those lucky few who have tried it are extremely promising:

Craig Harris, IGN.com: "But it's the 3D display. Holy crap. Trust me, you really have to see this thing in person to understand why I'm incredibly impressed. [T]he effect adds . . .[a] lot of depth. [It] is immediately obvious, yet seems so natural. [...] The 3D effect works fantastically. [...] It's a stunning effect, absolutely."

Giancarlo Varanini, GameSpot.com: "[A]ll I can say is, "Wow." [The 3DS] didn't disappoint at all. In fact, I'm so shocked at how good the 3D effect is that I find myself wondering why it is that no other company has picked up on this technology already. But then again, this is Nintendo[.]"

Justin Calvert, GameSpot.com: "I was still skeptical until I held [the 3DS] in my hands and was able to see the 3D screen for myself. Not only does it work, but I think the effect of the 3D is just as good as that on the PlayStation 3, which requires an expensive TV and a pair of glasses."

Pants wet yet? Mine sure are. But what good is a system without fantastic games to play on it? No good, I say, no good at all. Luckily, however, Nintendo has announced a ridiculous number of mouth-watering titles to be released for the system, ranging from exciting remakes to originals from big name franchises. In the former category, Nintendo has announced it will be releasing 3D remakes of classic titles like Star Fox 64 and the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Third-party remakes are on the way too, including 3D versions of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater and Super Street Fighter IV. It is exciting enough to imagine playing these already amazing titles in full 3D; it is even more exciting to know we can do so on trains, planes, automobiles, and everywhere in between. As for new titles, Nintendo isn't pulling any punches. New Mario Kart, PilotWings, Animal Crossing, and Paper Mario titles are all in the works for the 3D system, as are 3rd party titles like Resident Evil: Revelations, Assassin's Creed: Lost Legacy, a new Ghost Recon, and a new Ridge Racer, all in glorious 3D.

If that was all the system could do, it would be enough. But it doesn't stop there. Much like the original DS, the 3DS will feature a dual screen display. The top screen will be the 3D display, while the bottom will have touch-screen capabilities. The system also features an analog stick for increased control over the action, and can connect to WiFi for online pwnage. Another new feature is motion detection. The 3DS features built-in motion sensors and a gyroscope, allowing gamers to not only use button inputs and the touch screen to control games, but also tilts and twirls of the system itself. Furthermore, the system we be able to play full 3D movies, such as the aforementioned How to Train your Dragon, featuring the same 3D effects that would be seen in theaters or with a 3D TV and glasses. And the icing on the cake? The 3DS features TWO outward facing cameras which can be used to take FULL 3D PICTURES! OF REAL LIFE! IN 3D!! If that isn't awesome I don't know what is.

Now, no word has been released as to the 3DS's release date or price. But if I had to guess, I would say the system won't be out until 2011, and will be priced at around $200. While I am not sure I can wait that long to get my hands on this thing, I wold definitely be willing shell out that much coin if this thing is as good as it sounds. Either way, as JP from Grandma's Boy once said, this is truly "the future of gaming."

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Five Video Game-to-Film Adaptations that Should Happen

[NOTE: There is something very exciting at the end of this article, so make sure you read all the way through...or skip to the end if you feel like cheating...you cheater...]

Last month, I posted an article titled "May-Flowers," in which I highlighted five movies being released in the month of May that I believed, based on preliminary information, were worth watching. One of those films was Prince of Perisa: the Sands of Time, perhaps the first video game-to-film adaptation to be made with the a budget, production and casting comparable to high profile adventure movies like Pirates of the Caribbean and the like. Accordingly, my expectations were high. And unfortunately, while I haven't seen the film myself, the general consensus is disappointment across the board. It seems that while the movie was at times entertaining and fun, it was completely forgettable, lacked emotional gravitas, and pandered to too young a crowd.

However, despite the lukewarm reviews (40% on Tomatometer) and box office failures (grossing less than $38 million domestically),  I still consider Prince of Persia a success. Not as a film, per se, but as a step forward for the future of video game-to-film adaptations. When you consider how truly terrible the vast majority of these films are (with only five out of the twenty-nine ranked by Rotten Tomatoes scoring above a 30% on the Tomatometer, with Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within's 44% in first place) and how little care has been put into adapting the source material, Prince of Persia could signal the beginning of a rebirth for the genre, a sort of video game-to-film renaissance with big name producers (like PoP's Bruckheimer) and directors partnering with major studios and premiere actors to give some of the better video game storylines their theatrical due recognition. And it is with this hope in mind that I present to you my list of the top five video game-to-film adaptations that should happen (make sure you read them all, especially the LAST one).

Halo: Combat Evolved 
Plot: Movie opens with a marine spacecraft--The Pillar of Autumn--being attacked by warring alien forces known as The Covenant. In an attempt to fight back, the humans wake bioengineered super-solider Master Chief from cryo-sleep. Master Chief, along with his AI companion Cortana and the surviving human forces, fights his way to the ship’s escape pods, but the pods crash land on an unidentified celestial formation: the ring-shaped “Halo.” The war between the humans and the Covenant continues on the surface of the Halo, however neither are aware that a much more sinister force rests within the Halo’s surface, one with the power to destroy all sentient life in the universe: the parasitic Flood. 
Why it would be a great movie: take the gritty battle scenes of Saving Private Ryan, add in some high-tech, sci-fi weapons and vehicles, and finish it off with a sort of zombies-in-space vibe (thanks to the Flood), and you get a movie that, with a large enough budget and the right special effects, could easily be a huge summer blockbuster and a memorable sci-fi epic. 
What will work: huge set-piece moments from the game, like the assault on the Covenant spacecraft and the first time the Flood is introduced, lend themselves perfectly to the big screen. 
What won’t work: the puny, squeaky-voiced Covenant grunts are just a bit too comical and ridiculous, and would impinge on the films otherwise mature tone. 
Possible cast: Master Chief (voice)- Ron Pearlman; Cortana- Milla Jovovich; Colonel Johnson- Keith David

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves 
Plot: The movie opens with quick cuts of Nathan Drake, a young wise-cracking treasure hunter, running through the sewers of Istanbul alongside fellow hunters Chloe Frazer and Harry Flynn. They soon reach a museum, and sneak in with the intent to steal an old Mongolian lamp. With the lamp in hand, Flynn quickly double-crosses Drake, revealing he is really working for Zoran Lazarevic, a supposedly dead war criminal. Flynn escapes with Frazer, and Drake is captured. Drake spends three months in prison, after which he is set free by Frazer and his old friend Victor “Sully” Sullivan. Frazer informs Drake that Lazarevic is searching for Marco Polo’s lost fleet and the fabled wish-granting Cintamani Stone, the location of which was hidden within the Mongolian lamp. The three team up and follow Lazarevic and Flynn through the jungles of Borneo, the war-torn cities of Nepal (where they cross paths with Drake’s old girlfriend Elena Fisher), and the snowy peaks of Tibet, and eventually reaching their final destination: the lost kingdom of Shambhala, home of the Tree of Life. 
Why it would be a great movie: More than any other game I have ever played, Uncharted 2 felt like it was made for the silver screen. The believable characters, the funny, human dialogue, the jaw-dropping action sequences, the beautiful and varied environments; this game was every bit a theatrical experience, and a far more exciting adventure than both of those stupid Nation Treasure movies and the fourth Indiana Jones combined.
What will work: Remember that part of the game where Drake is fighting Lazarevic’s soldiers in a building in Nepal when suddenly a helicopter comes and blows the building in half? Remember how Drake is still firing his pistols as the room he is standing in up-ends and the building quickly turns to rubble? Remember how Drake at the last second makes a death-defying leap out of the window and into the adjacent building as the everything around him crumbles to the ground? Yeah, that. 
What won’t work: Remember those snow yeti’s Drake fought in Tibet? Remember the purple-skinned guardians of Shambhala? Remember how they were like the same thing? Yeah, that.
Possible Cast: Nathan Drake- Chris Evans; Chloe Frazer- Angelina Jolie; Elena Fisher- Leslie Bibb; Zoran Lazarevic- Mark Strong

Final Fantasy VII (Part I) 
Plot: The industrial metropolis Midgar, controlled by the power hungry Shinra Company, is in distress. While the upper “plate” of the city is prospering, the land below has become a desolate, starving slum, completely drained of the planet’s natural “Mako” energy due to Shinra’s activities. A rebel group known as AVALANCHE forms, lead by Barret Wallace and Tifa Lockhart. The group is soon joined by Tifa’s childhood friend Cloud Strife, an ex-member of SOLDIER, a military unit run by Shinra. AVALANCHE begins launching attacks on Shinra’s many Mako reactors throughout Midgar. After discovering the location of the AVALANCHE hideout, Shinra quickly responds by dropping the upper plate onto all of Sector 7 of Midgar, destroying everyone and everything that lived there. Shinra also succeeds in capturing Aeris Gainsborough, a flower girl who had enlisted Cloud’s help as her bodyguard. Enraged, Cloud, Tifa, and Barret launch an attack on the Shinra headquarters. However, they soon realize that it is not Shinra they should fear, but Sephiroth, a legendary warrior who once fought alongside Cloud and has been presumed dead for some time. After rescuing Aeris, AVALANCHE begins a long trek across the planet in attempt to thwart Sephiroth’s deranged plans to destroy the world.  
Why it would be a great movie: There is a reason that Final Fantasy VII brought role-playing games into the mainstream. Its sci-fi story line made it much more accessible than the fantasy-fare found in earlier titles, as did its rough-yet-lovable lead characters. This is particularly true of the first part of the game, which takes place entirely within the city limits of the high-tech Midgar. This section of the game was fast-paced and easy to follow, making it much more appropriate for the big screen then the more drawn-out, esoteric later parts. Sure, a sequel could be made to continue the story; the game is way too long to squeeze into one movie anyway.
What will work: Cloud escaping from the Shinra soldiers by jumping onto the top of a moving train; Cloud, Tifa, and Barret narrowly avoiding the falling Sector 7 plate by zip-lining to safety; the Cloud-Tifa-Aeris love triangle and the hostile friendship between Cloud and Barret. And for the cliffhanger? After saving Aeris, the team heads off to take care of the man in charge of Shinra, only to find him brutally slaughtered by Sephiroth.  
What won’t work: To save time, certain non-essential sections may need to be sidestepped, including the ridiculous (yet humorous) part of the game where Cloud cross-dresses in order to gain entrance to the perverted mob boss Don Corneo’s mansion. 
Possible Cast: Cloud Strife- Chris Pine; Barret Wallace- Quinton Jackson; Tifa Lockhart- Keira Knightley; Aeris Gainsborough- Natalie Portman

Resident Evil (reboot) 
Plot: The residents of Raccoon City are worried after a series of bizarre murders occur in the nearby Arklay Mountains, with the victims’ bodies showing signs of cannibalism. The Raccoon City Police Department’s Special Tactics and Rescue Service (STARS) is assigned to investigate the murders, and deploys their Bravo team to investigate the area. When contact is lost with the Bravo team, the Alpha team, comprised of Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, and Barry Burton (among others), are deployed. After  discovering the Bravo team’s helicopter, the Alpha team is attacked by a pack of violent, murderous dogs, and are forced to seek refuge within a nearby mansion. Once inside, the team splits up in an attempt to locate their missing comrades and find out more about the strange murders. What they find, however, is much graver: the mansion has been the site of many illegal experiments carried out by the Umbrella Corporation, a pharmaceutical conglomerate. The terrible results of these experiments (and the subsequently created T-Virus) terrorize the Alpha team throughout the mansion, including zombies and other mutated monstrosities. The team eventually discovers a research facility located below the mansion’s foundation, where they learn that Wesker has actually been working for Umbrella all along, and has lured Valentine and Redfield there in order to test out his most sinister creation: the massive humanoid bio-weapon known as the “Tyrant." 
Why it would be a great movie: Ok, I can already hear you all complaining, “but I thought Resident Evil was already adapted into a movie.” Well, that’s only partially true. The storylines from the movies don’t really match up with those in the video games, and have as a result never done the original game series justice (and also just plain sucked). The original Resident Evil game works as a great contained incident, and if handled correctly, could rise above its B-movie roots. 
What will work: Every terror that Valentine and Redfield face in the game would translate perfectly to the big screen, including the zombies, zombie-dogs, giant spiders, and Hunter monsters, as well as some of the game’s perilous traps, like the room with the lowering ceiling and the underground tunnel with the giant boulder.
What won’t work: A return of the game’s absolutely terrible B-movie dialogue and voice acting, on the other hand, would be an epic fail. See for example: “Jill, here's a lockpick. It might come in handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you.” “That was too close. You were almost a Jill sandwich!” “I hope this is not Chris’ blood!"
Possible Cast: Chris Redfield- Karl Urban; Albert Wesker- Viggo Mortensen; Jill Valentine- Liv Tyler; Barry Burton- Bruce Campbell

Mortal Kombat (reboot)
Another one that has already been made into a series of terrible movies, imagine how gritty and terrifying a Mortal Kombat reboot would be if it was full out R rated and ripe with gore. For example, what if all the disfigured “outlanders” from the video games were re-imagined as deranged, deformed, yet human serial killers? What if Jax and Sonya were police officers trying to put an end to their violence? What if Shang Tsung was a rich gangster who hosted a fight-to-the-death tournament, giving each side a chance to tear apart the other? Oh, and what if everything I’ve said so far IS ACUALLY BEING MADE INTO A MOVIE!?!? Yup, that’s right. A trailer has been posted on Youtube for a new Mortal Kombat movie, one with a much darker, grittier, more realistic tone than the campy, crappy original series. And based on the high production values and fight choreography, I don’t think this is a simple teaser or practical joke. Check out the trailer here, and prepare to escape to geek paradise.

iPhone 4 Announcement and Information

As most of you know, The Spot is a PC, through and through. Be that as it may, I know a cool piece of technology when I see one, and I have to say, the iPhone 4 is most assuredly piquing my interest. As I write this, Steve Jobs is on stage at the WWDC 2010 (Apple's World Wide Developers Conference) discussing all the specs and perks of this next-gen device. While you can follow the live blog of the event on CNET, the basic improvements are as follows (I am writing this at 2:00pm EST, and since I don't have clairvoyance, anything that hasn't been announced yet will not be listed here): first of all, the device is 1/4 slimmer than the iPhone 3GS ("thinnest on the planet"). As per consumer demand, it has both a back facing AND a front facing camera, which is huge news as it will presumably allow for super easy video conferencing. The back facing camera also has a LED flash and will record videos in full 720p HD. The device now uses a "retina display," upping the phone's display resolution fourfold, well beyond the maximum threshold of pixels that the human eye can see. Apparently, this is a good thing, and Jobs is touting that text on the screen will be in no way visibly different from text in a book or magazine. All current apps will apparently scale up to this new resolution automatically. The phone also has more processing power, utilizing the A4 chip found in the company's iPad device. Other notable improvements include two built-in mics, extended battery life, and a built-in antenna that wraps around the entire device (presumably remedying any service-related problems).

Again, check on the live CNET blog for more information as it occurs. But as a funny side-note, at one point in the presentation, while attempting to demonstrate the differences in visual fidelity between the 3GS and 4, Jobs attempted to access the NY Times application on both phones. However, he couldn't, and received error messages like "cannot activate cellular networks," to many laughs from the audience. His continue efforts proved futile, and he remarked: "I'm sorry guys, I don't know what's going on. Got any suggestions?" Then, someone shouts from the audience: "Verizon!" Haha, good stuff.

[A special thanks to IGN.com for the image above]

Miss the Deputy?

Some of you have probably noticed that the Deputy hasn't posted anything on the blog recently. Well, I regret to inform you that him and I have cordially parted ways, blog-wise. He will truly be missed.

However, for those of you who miss his unique brand of blogging, fear not. He is currently spending the summer abroad in Madrid, and is keeping a travelogue blog for your reading pleasure. You can check his near-daily updates here:


http://www.deputyfuriousgeorge.blogspot.com/

On a similar note, I am still looking for new full-time contributors to help me fill these pages with worthwhile material. Check the link above for more information. Happy Memorial Day!

See Spot Fix: Iron Man 2

***SPOILER ALERT: This article contains spoilers for anyone who has not already seen Iron Man 2. If you still plan on seeing the movie and want to be completely uninformed about it, turn away now***

There's a strange trend among comic book movies that generally doesn't apply to any other genre of film: the second movie is almost always better than the first. This holds true within my own personal opinion, as well as the opinions of critics. Take these numerous examples as proof: Batman Returns was better than the original Batman (77% to 71% on RottenTomatoes), X2 was much better than X-Men (88% to 81%), Spider-Man 2 was better than Spider-Man (94% to 90%), The Dark Knight was better reviewed than Batman Begins (94% to 85%, though I tend to disagree here), Blade 2 was better than Blade (58% to 55%), and heck, even the awful Rise of the Silver Surfer was better than the original Fantastic Four (36% to 26%). So it is no surprise that hopes were high for Iron Man 2. The first film in the series was a resounding success, pleasing 93% of critics and grossing over four times it's production budget at the box office.  And while the sequel has already seen similar financial success, the consensus among critics is that Iron Man 2 has not lived up to expectations as a film (74% on RottenTomatoes).

I got the chance to screen Iron Man 2 for myself last Friday, and I definitely agree that it had its fair share of shortcomings. However, there were many parts of the film that worked. For one, Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark is as witty, cool, and confident as he was in the first movie. Watching Stark gallivant like a carefree playboy and banter effortlessly with girlfriend-turned-CEO Pepper Potts is immense amounts of fun. I also enjoyed Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer. He was convincing as a rival weapons manufacturer trying to keep his head up after years of being best by Stark Industries, and his performance was at once comical and desperate. Finally, I found that specific parts of the movie were on par with the level of excitement and masterful pacing of the first film. Particularly, the opening and closing acts of the movie were gripping and action-packed, and well worth the price of admission.

All in all, Iron Man 2 was definitely entertaining. However, this article is titled "See Spot Fix," not "See Spot Praise," so let's get down to brass tacks. Here is my list of places where the film stumbled, and how it could have been improved:

Excessive Plotting: There was a LOT going on in this movie. Like, four of five movies' worth of plot. Don't believe me? Well here is my attempt to hit most of the big plot points: Stark struggles with the realization that the device that is keeping him alive is actually killing him. Stark seeks a cure for this problem, forging his own brand-new element. Stark fights pressure from the US government to turn over the Iron Man "weapon" to the military. Stark struggles with daddy issues after learning that his father betrayed the original co-creator of the Arc Reactor: Anton Vanko. Stark seeks to complete his father's life's work. Stark interfaces with SHIELD Director Nick Fury and learns more about the "Avenger Initiative." Stark appoints Pepper as the new CEO of Stark Industries. Pepper wrestles with her new found responsibility. Pepper continues to try and keep Stark, her potential love interest, in line. Stark hires Natalie Rushman as his new assistant. Rushman reveals that she is actually SHIELD super spy Natasha Romanov ("The Black Widow") and has been monitoring Stark for the "Avenger Initiative." Stark and Rhodey's friendship is tested after Rhodey is forced to testify against Stark. Rhodey steals the "Mark II" Iron Man weapon for use by the government. Rhodey enlists the help of Justin Hammer to load the Mark II with advanced firepower. Ivan Vanko, son of Anton, seeks revenge on Stark for his father's wrongdoings. Vanko builds a suit and attacks Stark while racing in Monaco. Vanko is imprisoned, but fakes his own death and his freed by Hammer. Hammer enlists Vanko's help to create a line of suits that would put the Iron Man weapon to shame. Vanko uses this opportunity to improve his own suit and create an army of powerful drone robots to take down Stark during Hammer's presentation at the Stark expo..........exhausted yet? I sure was. The worst part is that the vast majority of this plotting began and finished during the middle hour and a half of the movie, between the excellent opening and closing acts I mentioned earlier. In short, this movie would have benefited from being way more focused. If more time was spent pitting Vanko and Stark against one another, and less time was spent in Stark's workshop as he tried to solve his health problems (which could have been completely lifted out of the movie without affecting the primary plot line whatsoever), the film would not have bogged down in the middle and viewers would have remained engaged throughout.  

The New Rhodey: I thought Terrence Howard did a fantastic job portraying James Rhodes, Stark's best friend and liaison to the US military, in the first movie. Thus I was a bit disappointed when I heard he would not be returning to the role in the sequel, and would be replaced by Don Cheadle. Don't get me wrong; I think Cheadle is a great actor. But I just didn't love his take on Rhodey. Howard's Rhodey was the perfect companion for Downey's Stark: more responsible and militant, yet with the ability to match wits with Stark even at his most quippy ("How was the 'Fun-vee?'"). However, I found Cheadle's Rhodey to be too stiff lipped and by-the-book. Maybe it is just my taste, and maybe it is because I rewatched the original Iron Man the night before seeing the sequel, but Cheadle's Rhodey just wasn't cool enough for me. For example, I could never picture Howard's Rhodey stealing the Mark II suite and screaming "everybody out" during Stark's birthday party. I know this was, to some extent, out of director John Favreau's hands, but I was very disappointed in the new Rhodey, no matter how bad ass he made the Mark II armor (see image). 

The Fight Scenes: I have two major complaints with the fight scenes in Iron Man 2. First, I never got the sense that Stark's physical flesh was in any real danger at any point in the movie. Sure, the Iron Man armor took some beatings, but I don't remember once thinking that Stark was threatened by any actual pain or mortal injury, and this was particularly true during his two standoffs with Vanko. When Vanko had his electric whips wrapped around Stark's neck, the Iron Man armor appeared to be damaged, but when the film cuts to a shot of Stark's actual face within the suit, it doesn't look like he is suffering from any physical pain whatsoever. This removes much of the sense of heroism and danger from the film, and could easily have been rectified by showing Stark himself being electrified by Vanko's whips, or having him scream out or wince in pain once in a while. My second issue with the fight scenes relates to Stark and Rhodey's battle with Hammer's drone robots. They were just too easily disposed. Now, I'm not even talking about that cool red-laser-wrist-spinning attack Stark does to finish them all off. But even when Stark and Rhodey are using their conventional weapons, the drones are simply felled too easily, and I never accepted them as a true threat. While it was assuredly cool to watch, there was no tension during this fight scene, as even one single Repulsor ray blast from Stark blew each drone into scrap metal. Sure, these drones represented a threat to the public, but how big a threat could the really be if they were dealt with so easily by Rhodey's hand-mounted machine guns.

The "Superhero" Factor: As far as superheroes go, Iron Man definitely has a truly awesome array of (mechanically induced) super powers: flight, super strength, bullet proof skin, powerful energy blasts, enhanced vision, and the list goes on. However, it takes more than just having super powers to be a great superhero. You have to actually know how to effectively use those powers in order to be truly super. That was one of the best parts about the Spider-Man movies. Peter Parker gained his abilities early in the first film, but it wasn't until the final act that he had full control over them, and could use them effectively. And it is how he uses his powers that makes him a true hero. Some examples include using his webs to pull a brick wall down onto the Green Goblin, and stopping the runaway subway car in the second film using his webs and all of his strength. But Iron Man 2 never made me believe that Stark deserved to be a true superhero. In other words, I came away from the movie convinced that anyone who put on the Iron Man armor would be just as effective a superhero as Stark is in the movie. We never see him make crafty or unique decisions with how to best put his powers to work. In fact, in most of the battle scenes, Stark simply stands still and fires his basic Repulsor blasts from his hands, just like any other doofus in the suit could. He rarely uses the environment to his advantage or makes split-second decisions. This point is hammered home when Rhodey dons the Mark II armor for the first time and then proceeds to beat Stark one-on-one in a robo-fistfight. As such, the film portrays the actual "Iron Man" superhero to be more part and parcel to the armor alone than the combo of Stark and the suit. And if that is indeed the case, outside of his quick wit, why is Stark so special? Wouldn't we be better off with a trained marine behind the wheel of the armor? In short, the film does a poor job of convincing me that Stark--the human being--is a necessary piece of the superhero puzzle.

So Iron-Man 2 wasn't a complete homerun like the first film. Am I disappointed? Yes. Did I still enjoy watching the film? Sure. If nothing else, the film did a great job getting me excited for the upcoming Captain America, Thor, and Avengers movies set to hit theaters over the course of the next two years.