Best Cartoon Parodies

I love it when television shows and movies reference or parody other television shows or movies. The result gives the viewer the feeling like they are a part of some big Hollywood in-joke. This phenomenon can be demonstrated simply by thinking about the constant cutaways that occur during an episode of Family Guy. The writers play off our own knowledge of other shows and movies to create a comical satire of pop culture that rewards the viewer for being informed. However, an almost equal and opposite reaction occurs when the viewer is unfamiliar with the source material. Nobody likes when a joke goes over their head, so the writers of these parodies must walk a tightrope, trying to find source material that is both original and well enough known that viewers don't feel alienated (a balance I personally believe the Family Guy writers have missed on many occasions).

Accordingly, more often than not, the most successful parodies tend to play off of extremely popular movie and TV franchises. With this in mind, I decided to make a list of some of my favorite TV parodies of other shows and movies. As it turns out, they are ALL cartoon shows imitating live actors and actresses. Not sure what that really says; perhaps we find it funny to see things we've seen done by real people recreated in cartoons. Maybe not. Who knows. At any rate, here's what I came up with:

South Park: "The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers"
At the beginning of the new millennium, the world was aflame with Ring-fever. Comic geniuses Trey Parker and Matt Stone took note of this, and in the thirteenth episode of South Park's sixth season, the duo turned their satirical eye to Tolkien's universe. The episode sees Stan, Kyle, and Cartman tasked with returning a rented copy of The Fellowship of the Rings to the Two Towers video store a few towns over. This requires a long trek, and all the while the boys continue to pretend they are traversing the harsh terrain of Middle-earth as a human, elf, and wizard. What they don't know is that, due to a mix up at Stan's house, they are actually carrying a copy of the raunchiest and most perverse porno in history: "Backdoor Sluts 9." It all plays out quite hilariously, especially with Butters filling the role of Gollum, who after seeing the dirty movie, follows closely behind the boys, constantly crying about his precious.

America Dad: "Meter Made"
I am strong believer that this show has not gotten the respect it deserves, and this Goodfellas parody episode is a great example of how underrated it is. The episode follows the exploits of patriarch Stan Smith who, after being demoted from his job at the CIA to a lowly Meter Maid, begins siphoning quarters from parking meters and starts living like a high roller. The episode is a perfect parody of the brilliant Scorcese mob movie. Anyone who has seen the movie will immediately appreciate how the Smith's decorate their home and the hilarious scene depicting Stan trying to flush the embezzled quarters down the toilet, both of which are highly reminiscent of parts from the film. Also, some of the lines, such as Francine's monologue or Stan's closing remarks about once again being a "regular shnook," are lifted almost word for word from the movie. And any episode that features Officer Turlington (voiced by Forest Whitaker) is a winner in my book. A great episode and a fantastic parody from an underrated show.

The Simpsons: "24 Minutes"
While many shows have attempted parodies of action-drama show 24 (also known as the Now-Sour Jack Bauer Hour), none have done it better than The Simpsons. Instead of making fun of how ridiculous the show tends to be (which the South Park version "The Snuke" did quite well), "24 Minutes" instead chose to shrink 24's fast-paced action down to fit within the humble town of Springfield. While Marge races against the clock to bake a cake in time for the school bake sale, Bart (in the role of Jack) is enlisted by Lisa and the Springfield Elementary's Counter Truancy Unit (CTU, duh) to prevent the detonation of the worst stink bomb in history. This parody borrows heavily from the source material, and even features Martin as the cliche mole inside CTU. The prank call Bart makes to the actual Jack Bauer is just icing on the cake. Oh, and did I mention that throughout the whole episode, Homer and Milhouse are zooming down the street, locked in a dumpster? Priceless.

Family Guy: "Blue Harvest"
I had trouble deciding which Star Wars parody should win this slot: Family Guy's or Robot Chicken's. But in the end, the Griffin version takes the cake because it is essentially a shot-for-shot remake of the first movie, instead of just a bunch of random references. With Chris as Luke, Peter as Han Solo, and Stewie as Darth Vader, this hour long walk down memory lane reminds the viewers of how awesome the movie was, while still injecting it with a large dose of Family Guy's off-the-wall humor. Some highlights include Stewie arguing with the Death Star crew about the space station's only weakness, Leia (Louis) struggling to record a message for Luke using R2D2 (Cleveland), R2 and C-3PO (Quagmire) enjoying some marijuana while waiting in the control room, and Han and Chewie (Brian) trying to load a large used couch onto the Millennium Falcon during a firefight. I have yet to see the sequel-- a direct to video episode called "Something Something Dark Side"--but I am sure it is just as clever and hilarious.

"Spartacus: Blood and Sand" ...and Nudity.

So the Starz network has started a new show called, "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" and it takes pride in bringing the most authentic rendition of ancient Rome and that means that must mean Rome was completely naked.  Torn from his homeland and the woman he loves, Spartacus is condemned to the brutal world of the arena where blood and death are primetime entertainment. But not all battles are fought upon the sands. Treachery, corruption, and the allure of sensual pleasures will constantly test Spartacus. To survive, he must become more than a man. More than a gladiator. He must become a legend.  The show stars Australian actor, Andy Whitfield from McLeod's Daughters as Spartacus, Lucy Lawless, best known in her role in "Xena: Warrior Princess" as Lucretia.  

The show takes the amazing artistry reminiscent of films like Sin City and mixes in the slow-motion displays of fighting like any great Jet Li film.  It is breaking ground in authenticity and complex story lines that keep me recording it every Friday at 10pm.  But the quality of the cinematography is not what is creating a buzz around this show.  IT'S THE EXPLICIT CONTENT!

In just this past episode, Spartacus decides to buy wine and "whores", paid from his wins in the arena in order to boost the morale of his fellow gladiators.  Normally, this would be depicted with loosely slung robes and possibly a suggestive slit of one woman's garment giving the audience a glimpse at nudity, but not this show.  This show unravelled the entire plot while explicit intercourse provided as background visuals and noise.  Not only is the nudity placed in delicate points to add to the intensity of the plot, but it is sometimes borders on frivolous in nature.  One scene from the same episode was a dialogue between Lucy Lawless's character and her husband, the gladiator slave-owner.  They were talking of the next gladiator games but instead of it being a sit-down back-and-forth, it featured Lucy being bathed (naked) by her two servant women (also naked).  Then, her husband joins her in the baths and while he talks of his opinion (naked), he is having intercourse with a different submitting slave (again, naked).

The nudity is not necessary, even comical at points, but an interesting view into the insight of the future of television.   I am an avid fan and outspoken advocate for liberating all media and allowing the audience to choose what is too much for them and their kids.  But, funny enough, this show almost proves too much for the Deputy's eyes.  They have paved the way because they show full frontal nudity of women and men.  Then they have two women going at it for the public to view during a gladiator announcement party.  Not to exclude anyone from the game, they even have a male gladiator who has an eye for a slave, also a male.  Nudity, explicit sex scenes, homosexual content and blood that could fill the Superdome, this show gives anyone more than they could ever bargain for.  So for the bigoted viewers or the faint of heart, this may not be a show for you.  

As a progressive TV watcher who wants to give ratings to a ground-breaking show, the Deputy stays tuned and endures through the uncomfortable.  But, as they say, "When in Rome..." HA!  

Remember, Friday at 10pm on Starz!

Who cares about the economy? Bobonos.com is so tight!

So the Deputy came back from Panama with so much to share.  The wedding was a destination wedding at the house of a rum tycoon who worked very closely with Mr. and Mrs. Bacardi.  Needless to say, the crowd was beautiful, successful and full of cultural wisdom to impart.  As I was wetting my whistle with the drinks provided at the rehearsal dinner, I engaged in a conversation with a swell gentleman from New York.  We got to talking and the Deputy shamelessly plugged his blog in a meager attempt to get global awareness to the amazing-ness that is Poposaurus.  I told him how we cover pop culture, everything from fashion to final fantasy.  I even mentioned the "Short Shorts" post and he gave me his nod at the observation.  I asked him what he does and he said he was a Stanford business school graduate who put down his silver platter of a future and took a risk at an exclusively online retail site for men's clothing.  Score!  It's called Bonobos.com.  It is an men's all-online retail site that features what is in vogue for guys right now.  It provides a more sophisticated style for the everyday man and perfect weekend gear for the working stiff.  It toes the line of prep-ster but provides some good staples in a wardrobe at a bargain price.

There is free shipping and since it is a newer company, the customer service is impeccable.  This is more of a "watch for" post because it is something that every guy or girl with a boyfriend should keep their eyes on now and into the future.  The Deputy can't give you money but there is a feature that comes close.  If you refer a friend and they purchase something on the site, you get a $50 credit to be credited to your account.  So even if the style doesn't fit you personally, refer a friend who it does suit and pick up a new pair of pants, or some nice deck shoes.  

I personally just ordered the Corps plants in a light blue.  They are a fitted pant and are just over 50 dollars.  The Corps are just a classic washed khaki with plaid interior and if paired with a slick belt, you have yourself some style my friend.  I also had my eye on the shorts and bathing suits they offer.  Remember when the Deputy recommended a shorter, snugger fit for the upcoming year, well lay your eyes on proof that I know what I'm talking 

about.  Log on and be the hit at your next yacht party in St. Barts!  Oh you weren't invited?  Sorry, I'll send you a post card.  Ha, suuucks!

Later hater, 

Deputy

Molton Brown Is A Must!

The Deputy just came back from an amazing weekend in Panama, where he stayed in some five-star accommodations.  As I was shoving every single shampoo, conditioner, lotion and body wash from the two hotels, I realized that I just had to have the products of Molton Brown.  Molton Brown is a company that makes everything bath for men and women and is the top of the line.  I had my first "experience" with Molton Brown on one of my many escapades to New York, where the Deputy stayed with Spot.  I went into the shower and saw that Spot's roommate had this brand of shower products that I had never seen before.  I tried the shampoo and the Bracing Silverbirch Body Wash (I know it sounds as amazing as it feels).  Not only did it give off a perfect scent of sophistication and cleanliness but it left my skin smoother than room-temperature butter spread on recently-toasted ciabatta.  It was amazing and eye-opening and I had to have it.  Then, after having an entire weekend to relive my experience via Molton Brown products and after having the opportunity to store up on some free samples, I decided I had to spread the word.

Now that you have a nice visual of the deputy lathering in the shower, you should know that Molton Brown is a London-based company and can be searched through their website at www.moltonbrown.com.  They have soaps, lotions, body washes, body scrubs, men's grooming products, make-up for the ladies, skin care and more.  It may be a little on the pricey side when compared to the Loreal, ghetto shampoo we have all settled into using, but the overarching Deputy-ism is that is time to step up our swag game.  The readership for Poposaurus is around the 20's and 30's age bracket and therefore it is time to rise out of adolescent survival products and into the products of the elite.  Have you ever had a significant someone sleep over and they want to shower in order to rinse off the regret from last night's endeavors only to feel a little embarrassed that your shower game is a little lacking in the appropriate department?  Get it together kids, get this product, and enjoy smelling good, feeling smooth, and swagging hard.  Enjoy!

500 Hits!

Hooray!

At 10am on February 16th, 2010, we added a "hit counter" to our blog to track how much traffic we were seeing. And today, just over a week later, we have reached our first milestone: 500 hits! A big thank you to all our dedicated readers for making Poposaurus REX more than just another forgotten blog floating along on the Blogger servers. Keep on reading!

[As a side note, the hit counter didn't go live until two weeks after the blog went live, so in reality, we have had way more than 500 total hits!]

Final Fantasy XIII: Story, Linearity, and Evolving the RPG

Without a doubt, the Final Fantasy franchise of video games is one of the most popular and recognizable assets in gaming, second in pervasiveness perhaps only to Nintendo's first-party IPs like Super Mario, Donkey Kong, and the Legend of Zelda. With twelve "pure" titles, the first dating all the way back to 1987 on the original Nintendo Entertainment System, and many more spin-offs, remakes, and side-stories, the franchise has literally defined the Role-Playing Game (RPG) genre. It has brought decidedly "hardcore" gameplay to a mass market (ranking sixth on the list of all time best-selling video game franchises with 92 million units sold), and maintains many dedicated fans. As such, it is no surprise that the pending release of the series' thirteenth entry has the gaming industry on the edge of their seats. And as the critics begin to post reviews, the overall consensus is...well...rather mixed.

Final Fantasy XIII is extremely important for many reasons. Primarily, it has been in development for well over three years, and is the first game in the series to be released on "next-generation" consoles. Whats more, FFXIII is the ONLY game in the series to see an initial release on multiple platforms, gracing both the PlayStation 3 AND the Xbox 360 on March 9th, 2010. These facts alone make FFXIII's release extremely momentous. But beyond release timing and logistics, FFXIII is also important because it is being touted as one of the most unique games in the series to date, abandoning many mainstays of the franchise. First, the game's battle system is very different. While still decidedly "turn-based," FFXIII only allows players to enter commands for one of the characters in your party, leaving the computer to control the actions of your comrades based on preset "Roles" and "Paradigms." Second, and perhaps more importantly, the game designers have opted for a much more linear, story-driven experience. They accomplished this by limiting the amount of "open world" exploration, cutting down on the number of available side-quests, and completely removing the existence of towns to visit. And while the new battle system has so far been highly regarded, the shift to a more linear format has irked many of the early critics and long-time fans.

The unrest regarding this extreme linearity seems warranted. While gripping stories and memorable characters are important pillars of the franchise, some of the most memorable Final Fantasy moment occur while wandering around the world map, exploring towns, and conversing with the locals. These moments, where players are not being forced down a predetermined path but are instead free to take their time, breathe in their surroundings, and lose themselves in the expertly-crafted fictional world give these games much needed levels of realism and depth. Without these moments, the games would devolve into a constant repition of enemy-filled field after enemy-filled field (which the review at RPGFan.com seems to suggest is in fact the case with FFXIII). And unless the battle system and character leveling options are extremely fun and rewarding, such a game could become very exhausting, very fast.

However, it is important to understand the other side of this coin. That is to say, there is virtue in game play linearity in that it helps tell a well orchestrated, cinema-esque story. By forcing players to walk down a predetermined path, the game designers give themselves the ability to develop a much more cohesive and fast-paced storyline than may be possible by giving the player too much freedom to explore. For example, critically acclaimed story-driven action games like Uncharted 2 and Metal Gear Solid 4 are almost entirely linear. They move from chapter to chapter without allowing players to "stop and chat." Through this technique, their designers created two games that have widely been regarded as the closest things to "playable action movies" to date. It is into this category that I am hoping FFXIII falls: an action heavy, story heavy thrill ride that rivals the best movies in theaters today.

In the end, I can't reach any real conclusions about the game until I play it myself. However, what I hope is that gamers (specifically, big RPG fans) forget their preconceived notions about what RPGs and Final Fantasy games should be, and go into FFXIII with an open mind. Our current generation of consoles, with their powerful processor and high definition graphics, provide for the creation of extremely cinematic experiences, and perhaps a more linear style of game play is a step in a similar direction, necessary for achieving true storytelling genius. It may well be true that the game I have in mind is not an RPG by the most basic and strict definitions. But, to me, that's okay. Games evolve, genres change and cross-over, and sometimes you need to give up old-school mainstays to really move forward into a higher level of game play and storytelling.

So here' to trusting Square Enix. Here's to thinking of FFXIII as more than just another entry in a long running series, but a new game with fresh ideas that is (hopefully) a step into the future for the genre. And here's to the evolution of the RPG, and of gaming in general.

Clash of the RealiTitans: Project Runway vs. Top Chef

It's no surprise that Project Runway and Top Chef, two fantastic reality competition shows, are often compared. They are very similar. For example, both found success on the Bravo Network (though Project Runway has since moved to Lifetime, much to my chagrin). Both feature relatively unknown chefs/designers, giving them the opportunity to compete for the opportunity to become a household name in their field. Both feature weekly eliminations carried out by tough expert judges. Both tend to include weekly special-guest judges. And the list of similarities goes on. However, if you could only watch one of these shows (which I really don't recommend as both are great), it may be a tough call deciding which is better. So, I have gone ahead and done the work for you, weighing the merit of these two shows based on five different categories: the cast, the viewer experience, the judges, the competition, and the final challenge. And with that, let the battle begin!

Cast: 
While both shows find success in giving us memorable characters to either love or hate, I have to give the nod to Top Chef here. The contestants on PR seem to always be cut from the same cloth: the girls are all kind of distant and artsy, and the guys are all kind of, well, flamboyant. On TC, however, the roster is generally much more diverse, and therefore more characters tend to stand out as memorable. For example, on this past season of TC, we were treated to the hard-as-nails Jennifer, loud mouth Mike I., lovable fat kids Kevin and Eli, annoying-yet-sympathetic Robyn, and the list goes on (let's not forget the brothers Voltaggio and the unsung heroes Ash and Ashley). However, on this season of PR, contestants Janeane, Anna, Maya, and Amy might as well all be the same (non)character. The only standouts are the hilarious Anthony, alternative Seth Aaron, and uber-bitch Mila (oh, and Ping; bitch was crazy). When it comes down to it, variety is the spice of life, and PR's cast simply doesn't have it.
WINNER: Top Chef
 
Viewer Experience:
One of the more rewarding parts of watching these shows is being able to pass my own judgments about the contestants' work products, and then watch as my prediction either clash or coincide with the judges' decisions. However, I find it much easier and more rewarding to do this while watching PR than TC. Food and clothes are two very different animals. With the garments made on PR, you see exactly what the judges are seeing, and you don't need to be a fashion expert to reach your own conclusions about what looks good and what doesn't. However, TC doesn't really allow for the same process. You can't judge food just by looking at it; you need to taste it to really know how good it is. As such, you are often left to simply listen to the judges' reaction and opt to either trust them or not. This is not nearly as interactive as the PR experience. Also, many of the ingredients and techniques used in TC sound like complete gibberish to me, so I can't even imagine what some of the dishes taste like (I mean, what is tarragon, anyway?).  
WINNER: Project Runway

The Judges:
Tough call here. Both shows have interesting and capable expert judges. Padma and Heidi serve equally as smart, sexy host/judges. Tom Colicchio and Michael Kors are both seasoned, successful experts with biting criticism. However, it is at the third tier (professional critics) that PR wins this category. Nina Garcia of Marie Claire magazine is leagues better and more fun to watch than Gail Simmons of Food & Wine. In fact, Nina is almost as tough and as mean as Michael, while Gail's comments are generally forgettable. And while Toby Young's visits to the TC judges' table are a nice relief, they are far too infrequent, and thus the PR judges (and ever-present "mentor" Tim Gunn) come out on top.  
WINNER: Project Runway

Competition:
Much how TC's varied cast gives it the win in the first category, it's varied challenges give it the win here. Episodes of PR often playoff in exactly the same manner. Regardless of the actual assignment, the PR contestants wake up, meet with Heidi who send them out to Tim where they get their assignment, briefly stop off at Mood to pick up fabric (where Tim always shouts "thank you Mood" in the same exact way), then head to the work room at Parson's, and then on to the runway. And it's the same thing, every time. With TC, the challenges place the contestants in a much more varied array of locations and situations. This past season, we've watched as the contestants cooked out at a poolside bachelor/bachelorette party, sweated over a grill in the middle of a desert, used military-sized appliance cooking at a Naval base, and so on. And with other fun mainstays like the weekly "quick fire challenges" and the fan-favorite "restaurant week," TC's actual challenges are generally much more diverse and interesting, and therefore more fun to watch.
WINNER: Top Chef

The Final Challenges
For PR's finale, the remaining three designers are asked to create a full, cohesive line of garments which get shown at New York City Fashion Week in front of a large audience including friends, family, and fashion professionals. For TC's, the final two or three chefs are tasked with cooking their own mulit-course dinner, which is served to and judged by a table filled with some of the most famous chefs and food critics. While both are sufficiently challenging and good tests of the competitors' abilities, PR's final challenge is much more of a grand spectacle, and thus wins out over TC's more low key finale.
WINNER: Project Runway

The Verdict
In truth, both of these shows are exciting, interesting challenges between some very talented, unknown contestants. If you aren't watching both, you are doing yourself a great disservice. But the point of this article was to choose a winner. And with a score of 3-2, the answer is clear...
OVERALL WINNER: Project Runway

Musings on Muse: Spot's Mix

As some of you may know, the Spot spent this past weekend on the beautiful beaches of Negril, Jamaica. With little else to do but soak up the sun on the white-sand beaches, I was able to spend some quality time with my iPod. As such, my next few posts may, for better or worse, be more music-centric. We'll see.

Either way, one band I spent a particular amount of time listening to (as I normally do) was Muse. Ever since I downloaded Origin of Symmetry and Absolution, I have been a big fan of this English alt-rock band and their truly eclectic collection of tunes. However, most people may know Muse best through their ties to the Twilight movie franchise. In fact, the band has even been quoted saying that they attribute most--if not all--of their success breaking through to US listeners to these movies (the band has had large European and Australian success for a long time now). Unfortunately, this association, while financially beneficial, may not cast Muse in the best light for attracting more discerning, seasoned music fans. The band has much more to offer than uber-poppy songs like "Supermassive Black Hole," the first track on the Twilight soundtrack. And thus I got the inspiration to help you, the faithful readers, get a real taste of what Muse has to offer by providing you with selection of tracks that I beleive function as a proper introduction to their unique and enjoyable sound.

But before we move forward, let me make a few things clear. What I have done is selected four songs from each of Muse's most recent four albums, for a total of 16 tracks that can be downloaded off iTunes as you see fit. This is NOT a "Greatest Hits" CD. I do NOT think these are necessarily Muse's 16 best tracks, and in some instances may not even represent the four best songs on each of these four albums. I have merely used my powers of musical evaluation to select 16 great songs that give a nice sampling of the many different styles of Muse and serve as a good introduction to the band for any newcomer. In other words, if you have wanted to get into Muse but didn't know where to start, this is the mix for you.

Origin of Symmetry (2001):
1. "Plug in Baby"- A fantastic, hard-rocking, no nonsense track. Strong bass line that compliments the fun ascending-descending guitar line, and hold on for lead singer Matt Bellamy's crazy falsetto lines towards the end. One of my favorite Muse tracks, and also one of my favorite songs to play on Guitar Hero 5.
2. "New Born"- A soft start with some nice piano/synth, but the song really picks about a minute and a half in. Love this song's chorus, and how the band manages to seamlessly transition between soft and hard and back to soft by the end.
3. "Darkshines"- I can't get enough of the bass line in this song, and how it changes ever-so-slightly throughout. This song has a strange Old West feeling at the beginning, andthe band does a good job contrasting it with the dissonant piano crashes that lead into the emotionally charged chorus.
4. "Space Dementia"- This song goes along way in demonstrating how "epic" Muse can be. Like a few of the later tracks, "Space Dementia" really seems to tell a tale, and takes the listener on a storied journey. Really bizarre, powerful stuff.

Absolution (2003):
1. "Time is Running Out"- This is the song that first got me hooked on Muse. From the snap-claps at the beginning to the crazy drum line during the lead in to the second chorus (1:47) and the consistent build-up of momentum, this song is near-perfect in my mind.
2. "Hysteria"- Another gem. You will be singing this chorus for days to come, but don't let that steal focus from the crazy synth/bass line the underlies the whole thing, as well as the guitar solo at 2:26.
3. "Butterflies & Hurricanes"- Such emotion! This song is truly powerful, and much like "New Born," gravitates between moments of hardness and softness to great effect. Particularly good piano solo at 3:22, and listen closely for the orchestra accompaniment throughout.
4. "Stockholm Syndrome"- Another hard rocking track. I'd keep this one on repeat for the pounding bass drum and the guitar break at 2:03-2:07 alone. But let's not forget the almost xylophone-sounding synth during the chorus.

Black Holes and Revelations (2006):
1. "Starlight"- Probably the poppiest song on the list, there isn't much to be said other than this track is just damn catchy. A great pick for more causal listeners. But don't let the airy piano fool you; this song rocks pretty hard once it hits the chorus.
2. "Knights of Cydonia"- I don't know what I like more about this song: the use of vocals as an instrument to echo the guitar during the intro, the staggeringly powerful bridge section, or the fact that it kicked my ass over and over in Guitar Hero 3. Fantastic from top to bottom. "No one's gonna take me alive," indeed.
3. "City of Delusion"- One of the only songs by Muse you will ever hear with any acoustic guitar. Great bass line, and you gotta love the use of the violins. A really enjoyable, unique track, that really picks up steam during the second verse.
4. "Exo-Politics"- I had a hard time choosing between this track and "Maps of the Problematique" to fill this fourth slot. I think "Exo-Politics" wins for me because of the memorable chorus and the guitar work between the first chorus and the second verse (1:50).

The Resistance (2009):
1. "Unnatural Selection"- The organ during the intro. The driving guitar and bass. The powerful lyrics. The shouts of "hey" during the chorus. The slowdown in the middle. The choral finale. It's all ridiculously fun to listen to, and the true definition of "epic."
2. "MK Ultra"- Another tack with a very "epic" feel, this song has a lot going for it, such as the spooky string-work during the first "their breaking through" section (1:20), and the pounding drum line.
3. "Undisclosed Desires"- Another poppy number, I tried to avoid putting this one on the list due to its over-produced nature. However, I am a sucker for this song's catchy electronica beat.
4. "I Belong to You"- This may be the most unique song on the list. It's genre is hard to peg down, but regardless, the great vocal work and interesting piano line really steal the show, giving this track a decidedly burlesque, dark "Moulin Rouge"y feel that sticks with you long after hitting the stop button.

So there you have it. You are now a card carrying Muse-o-phile. Just a note: if you do plan on downloading these 16 tracks, realize that the order that they appear here is not the order that I would put them in on an actual CD. Perhaps just download them, throw them into a playlist, flip your iPod on shuffle, and see what happens. Spot out.

The Art And Sports World Collide

The Wall Street Journal wrote an article yesterday about a very unconventional wager made for the Super Bowl last week.  Two Art Directors, one from each city of the competitors in the Super Bowl, wagered major art loans on the outcome of the game.   From New Orleans, the New Orleans Museum of Art put up an ante of a loan on their painting, "Ideal View of Tivoli" by Claude Lorraine (left).  From Indianapolis, the Indianapolis Museum of Art put up an ante of a loan of their painting, "The Fifth Plague of Egypt" by Joseph Turner (right).  The two museums set up the bet via their respective twitter accounts and jumped at the chance to get people who usually don't follow sports, to have an oddly vested interest in the game.  

New Orleans originally put up a loan as a wager for Renoir's, "Seamstress" painting but the IMA responded by saying that they will see their "sentimental blancmange" and raise you a "true trophy".  The trophy was a Jean Valentine-Morel, "Jeweled Cup", to imitate the giving of a chalice to the victor.  Wednesday before the game, the deal was set via their twitter accounts in the early afternoon.  They wrote:

From IMA's Anderson via Twitter: "Deal -- Claude for Turner. Two masters in spirited competition across the channel, and between our fair cities. Go Colts!"

And in polite, collegial reply, NOMA's Bullard: "Max is a gracious opponent. Thanks for accepting the wager of a Claude from New Orleans for a Turner from Indianapolis. But this is definitely the Saints year. They are the  Dream Team and in New Orleans we know that dreams come true. Geaux Saints!!!"

I love this story and think it is amazing how influential sports is in our culture and society.  I also love how these art school nerds are talking trash via painters and their skills.  Sports is a huge part of society and any well-socialized person can attest to the fact that even if you don't want to watch sports, you should have a general idea of what's going on for business or otherwise.  The Deputy's Mom always calls him to ask what is going on with the Michigan football team (which is a whole lot of nothing these days) just so she has something to throw out for her big client who is a Michigan fan.  She says he really lights up about it and it changes the relationship to a more casual, at-ease relationship.  Since the game is done, it looks like New Orleans has a little more culture arriving in the near future.  GEAUX SAINTS!

Who's Hot For The Winter Olympics

The Deputy loves the Olympics, especially the Winter Olympics.  This year they are in Vancouver and they start in just a couple of days.  My favorite thing to do is to have some people over and make margaritas and cheer on our nation, or another nation if the athlete is hotter.  True?  The events during the winter are really entertaining with snowboarding, to Nordic skiing, to figure skating, to the most exhilarating of all...curling!  I kid.  So the Deputy would like to highlight some of the US Olympic hopefuls for 2010 so that you can keep your eye on some of our all-stars.  But this article isn't just about skill, it's about looks, so we can have some eye candy during the winter games. 

Lindsey Vonn - GOLD - Where did this girl come from?  She is an alpine ski racer from Minnesota and the first person to win back-to-back World Cup championships.  In December 2009 she was hurt and had a bruised arm but still endured to win the opening run in Giant Slalom in the 2009 World Cup.  So this girl has the guts and the looks to keep me watching.  She kind of looks like a mix between Mischa Barton and Giselle and that is something the Deputy likes, he likes it a lot.  She is new to the Olympic team and it's too bad this isn't a summer olympics and she were playing beach volleyball, but we'll settle.

Julia Mancuso - GOLD+  Thank goodness I did this article, I had no idea what the US was packing for this Olympic games.  She is an alpine skier from Nevada that is one of the first girl athletes to be endorsed by Lange boots, and I can see why.  She is a new one on the circuit but has a lot of potential.  She also endured an injury and needed arthroscopic surgery on her hip.  SO HOT!  I hope she has a scar because that would be hotter.  She won't be as noticeable as Vonn but this girl is noticeable in many other ways.  Kind of like the Anna Kournicova of skiing.

Bode Miller - GOLD (for the lady readers) Bode has been on th

e circuit for years and has done wonders for the sport and the US during Olympic times.  He first gained recognition when he won two medals in the 2002 Olympics in Giant Slalom and combined events.  Then he took off for many years until a rough patch in 2009.  He tore a ligament and was considering retirement but this New Hampshire native is going to tough it out and represent us with grace and style.  Go Bode, Go Bode, Go!

Shaun White - OFF THE PODIUM  So this Carrot Top look alike is not the hottest tool in the shed, in fact he's kind of a goon.  But I am shut up immediately by his accomplishments at such a young age.  A rookie to the olympics, but no rookie to winning medals, Shaun White is definitely the poster child of what's good in snowboarding.  The Deputy saw him at the X games just a couple of weeks ago and was blown away.  Some think, how do you tell who does better than the others if they all spin and land cleanly?  Well, in one word, AIR!  This guy gets so much height in his jumps that you almost forget how ugly he is.  Strategy?  Kidding, this guy is the man and definitely tune in for his runs.

Mirai Nagasu  - JAIL BAIT GOLD  This may be inappropriate but fo

r our asian invasion lovers, maybe Mirai is right up your alley.  She is just 17 so hold your horses perverts and grew up in Arcadia, California, which is 10 minutes from the Deputy's house.  This girl was the youngest figure skater, since Tara "Lips" Lapinski, to win the US women's figure skating title.  She won such high marks in that competition by skating a triple-lutz, double toe, triple flip and a double axel.  I hope this girl doesn't bring us the bad luck of Michelle Kwan and pulls some beginners luck out there.  Watch for this girl!  But don't watch her until she's legal next year.  

Enjoy the games,  peace!

REAL WORLD DC OFFICIALLY BLOWS!

As I sit at my computer during this horrific snowmaggedon that DC has to offer its residents, I had a lot of time to sift through my DVR and watch any and all shows that would help me pass the time.  I was saving an episode of "The Real World" for such an occasion and was very excited to watch because this season takes place in my town, DC!  AND IT SUCKED!  

I am a huge proponent for reality television and have become emotionally involved with 13 series of television during this season alone, so you can rest assured my bar for good TV is not very high.  To give everyone a frame of reference, I think that anything that New York touches (the character from Flavor of Love, not the city) turns to gold.  The characters that these shows offer are priceless and better than some of these poor excuses for Hollywood writers.  

So back to the Real World.  I guess when you live in the city that they are filming in you kind of get an idea of how cool these people are by what they do and where they party and what they eat.  And based on what I've seen so far, these people are a bunch of herbs.  I watch the show for the drama and the dysfunction, and this latest episode was about how the house was fighting over two girls that "just don't see themselves being friends".  WTF!  I started thinking, hmm Deputy, maybe we should give the cast a benefit of the doubt because now we are older than the entire cast and we can chalk up to immaturity.  But NO!  This season sucks and doesn't even compare to some of the better seasons of Real World that MTV has produced.  Maybe the directors need to feed them more alcohol to instigate some fights or sex, I don't know but something needs to happen to spice this season up.  

Let's review some of the amazing seasons that brought viewers to love The Real World:

Real Wold: San Francisco - This was the season that brought us Puck, who was by far the most unique individual that was a professional button-pusher.  He was ousted out of the house and still stalked the cast for weeks on end.  Great TV.  This season also brought us the first person with AIDS to be open and talk about it on TV.  He was motivating and brought awareness to the issues and incited change in the way we viewed it.  The only thing the DC cast gave us awareness to is how to not be "mean".  

Real World: Hawaii - Tech, Ruthie, Amaya...oh my.  The fact that the Deputy can recall the names of some of the cast members says a lot.  This was the first season that a lot of people in our generation started watching this show.  Tech was an outspoken nudist who was always down for a party.  And we all loved the episode where we followed Ruthie in the ambulance after she got alcohol poisoning for party too hard.  Go lezzies!  

Real World: New Orleans - This was an underrated season but what it gave us was a closed-minded Mormon in the same house as an outed homosexual.  The constant tension and enlightenment for these two characters was what this show was SUPPOSED to be about.

Real Wold: Las Vegas - Trash-elle anyone!?  This was the season filmed at the suite in the Palms hotel and it rocked.  We had a go go dancer, a country girl turned slut, a hot chocolate couple, and Frank.  They screwed each other and screwed each other over and we all watched as Arissa's dark circles around her eyes get worse and worse.

Other notables:  Hollywood, Australia, Austin.

In conclusion, The Real World is officially out of style and you can all clear your DVRs and just wait for a marathon that MTV loves to do.

Peace, love and seashells,

Deputy

See Spot Fix: Heroes

I don't think any television show of recent history did as complete a 180 as Heroes, NBC's once praised and now oft-maligned drama about humans that have developed special abilities. The first season received mass critical acclaim; the second took a terrible nose dive and was cut short due to the writer's strike. Ever since then, Heroes has been unable to reclaim the glory of its freshman outing. This most recent season, however, was definitely a step in the right direction. And after coming to a serviceable conclusion this past Monday night, I am left with a few ideas, ripped straight from the comic books, that may help Heroes fight its way back to the top of every viewer's DVR [SPOILER ALERT- I will talk in some detail about what happened at the end of this most recent season, so if it is still on your DVR and you want to be surprised, stop reading now]:

1. Superhero Spectacle: what's the point of having super-powered humans if we never get to see them do anything truly breathtaking? Perhaps this is a result of budgeting issues, with only a limited amount of cash available for flashy special effects, but we have yet to see a fight scene that comes anywhere near being comic book worthy. For example, last season concluded with a big battle between Sylar and the Petrelli brothers, a moment that a long-standing viewer like me yearned for since Peter first met Sylar in the halls of Claire's high school. But the entire battle unfolded behind closed doors. What a rip off! The conclusion to this most recent season was similarly underwhelming. With a villain like Samuel Sullivan who create earthquakes that can bury whole towns, his battle with Peter where the two simply pushed the ground back and forth between them seemed like a cop out. If this were in a comic book, Samuel would have gathered the earth around him, becoming a giant rock golem, and the heroes would have had to band together to stop him. Claire could have worked as an indestructible distraction while Hiro teleported Peter close enough to steal Samuel's powers and dismantle the monster. Yes, I've put a lot of though into this. But wouldn't that have been soooo much cooler? Viewers crave spectacle, and a show about super-powered humans should be able to deliver it.
2. Teamwork: and this brings me to my second point. One of the driving forces that kept viewers coming back during the first season was the build up to the inevitable moment where all the heroes realized they were not alone and banded together to, well, save the world. The conclusion to this past season reminded me of that, and this is a theme the writer's should return to. I mean, let's be honest. Cyclops and Wolverine are cool, but aren't they so much cooler when fighting alongside Colossus, Storm, and Gambit as part of the X-men? Would Mr. Fantastic be as awesome if he wasn't the leader of the Fantastic Four? I say keep the specials together, or at least some of them. Now that Claire has revealed her ability to the world, it wont be long before more specials start revealing themselves, and it may be up to Peter, Parkman, Hiro, and Sylar (?!) to keep the peace between the humans and the more Samuel-esque super-powered.
3. Origin Stories: another part of the Heroes universe that always kept my attention was new characters realizing their new abilities as they developed. For example, one of the (only) high points of Season 2 was the introduction of Monica Dawson. I thoroughly enjoyed watching as she slowly realized she had a special gift: the ability to copy any physical motion she witnesses (adoptive muscle memory). I similarly enjoyed observing as Emma from this most recent season learned to cope with her ability to see and manipulate sound waves. However, many of the other new characters introduced in the recent seasons were given no back-story whatsoever, and many of their powers were rehashes of old ones (super speed, seeing into the future, memory wiping, etc). Bring us more new characters, but don't just toss them into the action all willy-nilly. Let us watch as they first realize they have an ability, learn to master it, and then make the decision whether to use it for personal gain or the greater good. Isn't that the eternal superhero question?
4. A Company Man: the end of this past season hinted that "the Company" may be reforming, and I am all about it, so long as it is handled correctly. As mentioned before, with Claire's coming out, Noah's predictions about a war between the normal humans and the evolved humans may be on the horizon. How better a way to deal with it than to have Noah enlist the help of the "good" heroes, and instead of bagging-and-tagging, let the company function more like S.H.I.E.L.D. from Marvel Comics, using a mix of humans and specials to create a kind of uber-SWAT team to keep the peace. It would be a good way to achieve both step 1 and 2 of my list in once fell swoop.

Perhaps I want to make Heroes too much like the comic books I love so much. But is that really such a bad thing? People rush to the theaters to watch the newest superhero movies because they encapsulate what is so entrancing about their source material. And right now, next-to-nobody is watching Heroes. I say, give me more comic book awesomeness, or just put me out of my misery and kill the show so I stop watching with unfulfilled hopes that it will one day reclaim the glory of its first season. The Spot fades back, swoosh, and that's the end of the game.

Crooked? Perhaps. Fantastic? Hells yes.

For those of you who have already discovered Them Crooked Vultures and their recently released self-titled debut album: good work! You get an A+ and are excused from this reading assignment. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, please read on, as this will definitely be on the final exam.

Let's begin with a few simple questions, just to ease you in. Do you like listening to Queens of the Stone Age? Do you enjoy the music of the Foo Fighters and/or Nirvana? Are you a fan of Led Zeppelin? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then Them Crooked Vultures might just be the next big band and album in your life. If not, check your pulse; you might be dead.

Them Crooked Vultures is the newest rock supergroup to hit the music scene, and the first to have a membership that really piqued my interest right off the bat. The recipe is perfect. Start with Josh Homme, the riff-tacular front man from Queens of the Stone Age, on lead vocals and guitar. Add in the ever-present Dave Grohl of Nirvana and Foo Fighters fame, on the drums. Top it all off with classic rock legend John Paul Jones, letting his experience with Led Zeppelin shine through his masterful work on bass guitar, keyboard, and other assorted instruments. The result is an album that evokes equal parts modern hard rock and classic blues rock, and sticks with you long after you've hit the stop button.

But if these big names haven't convinced you of the band's worth, the music surely will. This stuff is deep with a capital D. Even now, months after downloading the self-titled debut, it still finds its way into my normal iPod rotation. This is primarily because the music seems to have infinite depth. Every time I listen, I find something new that I never heard before. Also, the albums structure is phenomenal. Many bands "fontload" their albums. In other words, they put their big hit songs in the first tracks of the album. This seems to be what Them Crooked Vultures attempted, but the result (at least for me) is something completely different. The first three tracks on the album definitely have the most widespread appeal, with tracks 2 & 3 ("Mind Eraser, No Chaser" and "New Fang") being the band's two singles released from the album (they were also the two songs played by the band during their recent performance on SNL). However, I found these three tracks to be mere introductions to the bands true power, with the following 5 tracks really taking center stage. Tracks 4 though 8 contain 25 minutes of pure rock bliss. Then, after a short interlude on track 9 ("Interlude with Ludes"), the band comes back in full force with three fairly experimental, but still thoroughly enjoyable songs, and ends it all with the entrancing, hypnotic "Spinning in Daffodils."

The band's greatest strength is its instrumentation. I could go into incredible detail here, but that isn't necessary. Instead, I will just cite a few prime examples: the drum-fill intro to "No One Loves Me & Neither Do I"; the guitar lead-in to "Elephants"; the tempo-climbing guitar solo in "Warsaw or the First Breath You Take After You Give Up"; the power-dance melody of "Gunman"; the encapsulating falsetto in "Scumbag Blues"; and the list goes on. I truly can't oversell some of this stuff, because it simply must be heard.

The album is not without its problems, though they do little to detract from its overall appeal. First, the two lighter tracks on the album ("Interlude with Ludes" and "Spinning in Daffodils") simply don't stand up to the other songs. While interesting in their own rights, and successfully recreating their presumed drug-trip inspiration and message, I just couldn't get into them, and found myself hitting the next button whenever I came upon them. Second, with all the riff-tastic guitar lines and pounding drum fills, sometimes the vocals seem like more of an afterthought than a fully featured instrument. This is particularly apparent in two songs: "Elephants" and "Gunman." The former is forgiven simply because of its awesome instrumental intro (as mentioned earlier). However, the latter is hard to let slide. The underlying music to "Gunman" is this power-dance melody that immediately grabs the listener's attention. However, while Homme could have taken center stage on this track and delivered something truly fantastic, he settle for some a-melodic warbling during the verse and a truly out of place, almost operatic chorus. Perhaps the juxtaposition of the vocals and the instrumentation was intentional, and that's all well and good. But for me, it was too jarring, and prevented me from really enjoying what is an otherwise creative and foot-tap-inducing song.

That said, I fully endorse this band and their self-titled debut. If you are looking for an album to wake you up during your morning commute and keep you rocking all day long, Them Crooked Vultures is worth the download. And for those of you interested in getting a small taste before buying the whole farm, then follow along with me as I...

"Spot" the Tracks:

• Beginner: "New Fang"
• Intermediate: "Dead End Friends"
• Advanced: "Reptiles"
• Veteran: "Caligulalove"
• Expert: "Warsaw or the First Breath You Take After You Give Up"

Chat Roulette

A friend of the Deputy’s, Samantha Clueless (check out samanthaclueless.blogspot.com), put me on to what I think to be a revolutionary social experiment.  The website is called chatroulette.com and what it does is, when you enter into the site, you start a video chat with a random person.  Simply , that is the extent of the website, but interestingly enough the profundity of the experiment extends to the fact that people all over the world are logging on.  In one video-conference I was able to chat with 15 year-old girls in Paris, then chat with a soccer team in Great Britain and end a session with an English teacher in Brazil.  It is a chat roulette, hence the domain name.  

It is very much sub-culture and attracts a certain kind of person, and I feel that I am that kind of person.  One is basically electronically entering your home and sitting at a table with you, even with a glass of wine if you so choose to indulge.  There are no chat police and no real dangers because, at your own volition, you can change the channel and chat with a completely different person at the click of a button.  BEWARE!  There is the occasional pervert using it as a vehicle to explore the voyeuristic fantasies, but it can merely be looked at as an occupational hazard, a speed bump to the more overarching idea that interesting people want to meet other interesting people.

I think the same type of person who likes to travel and stay in hostels and couch surf is the type of person that would like this website.  I find it intriguing and encouraging that humanity is willing to open up more and more, attempting to close the metaphorical “personal space” that has grown irreversibly vast over our modernization.  The Deputy was talking to his mother, an old fashion immigrant, about another website called couchsurfing.com.  

The way the site works is that a person takes a picture of their couch and creates a profile describing their expectations of a potential visitor.  Then, someone visiting the city of the profile’s owner can contact the owner and set up an arrangement whereby the visitor stays on the owner’s couch for a specified amount of time, for free.  Mother was shocked to hear that not only the website existed but that there are people that would open their homes to complete strangers.  The Deputy has a profile on the site and is of the impression that there is a type of person, a member of a certain subculture, that enjoys lessening the security of his or her home in order to help a fellow traveler and perhaps meet someone interesting.  It is a leap of faith, a trust and a sense of wonder that may lead someone to create a profile.  

But being a member of the tribe, I say that I am happy that it exists if ever I were the visitor.  It is an electronic extension of the proverbial story of welcoming a stranger-in-need into your home.  Call it hippie but chatroulette.com and couchsurfing.com give the Deputy hope in a more communal humanity, united towards a common goal of reciprocity.

Who Wears Short Shorts? Me? The Deputy’s Into It.

So everyone is shopping online these days, it’s no secret, or is it?  There are new sites that are popping up that allow people to buy designer clothes at a bargain.  As a jew, the Deputy is all about it.  My favorite sites to hit up are the following: gilt.com, hautelook.com and ruelala.com.  So basically what they do is send you an email saying that certain brands will be listed on their site and have sales.  Then you sign in and do some shopping.  Things are marked down close to 50% off and they do it by size and color, so shopping is easy.  I just bought this sick, blue Marc Jacobs bomber jacket off Gilt that was marked down from $450 to $180.  Unreal, right?  The thing I love is that you are getting a quality product for cheap.  The website format and layout is so easy to use and really allows you to see the product from so many angles and zooms that it's not like normal online shopping.  I’m a tall person, so finding sizes that work are hard, but Gilt describes the garment and the fit so you can work it out yourself.

So I was searching one of the sites the other day and there were short shorts and short bathing suits for men.  At first I thought, QUEER! But then I looked again and thought it was kind of cool.  They aren’t crotch-hugging, Fire Island type fits.  They are cool and sleek and I believe them to be the new trend for men.  Baggy clothes, though comfortable, are done.  I was such a proponent of a Notorious B.I.G. airbrush commemorative t-shirt, but you can

 get that “cool” look by buying something fitted.  I am really into this look because it has a little retro, re-call element to them and brings a new style to men’s swimwear and casual wear.  I hate that if I have to buy a swimsuit, I have to decide between Hurley and Hurley and you the design will either be argyle or an all-over print.  The styles that these new shorts come with are more sophisticated.  That’s the catch, if I am going to go to the beach with some dudes and body surf, I’m not wearing these shorts.  It is if I go to a hotel, roof-top pool party or boating at my friend’s lake house (cause I am so posh and go boating, but you get my drift, time and a place people).  So all in all, the Deputy recommends sale sites that give fashion for less and starting to give you a more trim, fitted look for the upcoming seasons.  From a jew to you, happy shopping!

Better Off (watching) Ted, and others

Warning! Extreme understatement alert! Please equip all protective gear necessary to avoid any and all harm that may result from reading the following extremely broad and obvious observation:

There are a lot of shows on TV.

Everyone still alive? Good. Sometimes, to make a point, you have start out with as broad a statement as possible. So bear with me.

There are a lot of shows on TV. So many that countless quality programs fly under the radar of more casual viewers. Even with the advent of DVRs and other timeshifting devices, there simply isn't enough time to watch everything on TV. In order to maximize their viewing utility, TV watchers must be vigilant in selecting the shows they choose to watch. With such difficult decisions to be made, the smallest slip-up can cause a show to sink into obscurity, be it a rough start, poor marketing, an unknown cast, or any number of other stumbling blocks. Accordingly, there are a number of entertaining shows that simply don't receive the viewership they deserve. That's where I come in.

The following three shows are not the best shows on television. They are also not my personal favorite shows on TV. In fact, the following shows are all fairly flawed in their own right. But don't be discouraged: they are simply three programs that I don't think you are watching, but should be. So, without further ado, the list begins... 

1. Better Off Ted

Better Off Ted, ABC's quirky take on life in the corporate office of a gigantic fictional conglomerate ("Veridian Dynamics," not to be confused with Fringe's evil conglomerate "Massive Dynamic"), is perhaps the best example of a show that has fallen victim to the first pitfall mentioned above: a poor start. The first season was met with middling reviews (Metacritic average of 68). Viewers quickly lost interest, and viewership dropped below 2 million towards the end of the season. Unfortunately, I cannot grace you with my opinion of season one. My first experience with Better Off Ted was via Hulu.com, through which I caught the last three episodes of the first season. I'll be honest; after this small taste, I was not sold.

I am happy to report, however, that the second season is a substantial improvement over what I saw of the first (the critics agree: Metacritic average of 84), and Better Off Ted is now one of the most quotable shows in my DVR repertoire (along with 30 Rock and The Big Bang Theory). The situations are always unbelievably absurd; for example, in one episode, Veridian embarks on an office match-making program in order to secure the best offspring for the next generation of employees. But it is the dialogue that really steals the show, especially that of R+D scientists Lem and Phil. Due to their inherently innocent and reserved nature, this delightfully geeky duo often find themselves the primary victims of the company's many attempts to alter the work environment and increase productivity, with hilarious results. In episode 8 of Season 2 ("The Impertence of Communication"), a typo in a company memo instructs employees that they must "now (instead of not) use offensive language," forcing Lem and Phil to devise a scientific formula for constructing insults. The results speak for themselves:

Phil: Give a man an insult, he can hurt people for a day. Teach a man to insult, he can hurt people who tease him because he never learned to fish. Anyway, I've devised a formula.
Lem: Look at that. You had a problem in your life and who stepped up to help you? Math. She has always been there for you, hasn't she, Phil?
Phil: If she ever took physical form, I'd leave my wife and marry her.
Lem: Stand in line, my friend.

And later...

Phil: Your eyes look like two beady rabbit pellets on the face of a monkey-licking pus-bomb.

Lem: You've just been Phil-abusted.

Phil: Nice!

Lem: That's it--fill up your canker-blossomed hole, you ale-soused apple-john. That was the Elizabethan model.

Phil: Ye have been served.

The other characters are no slouches, though none really reach the same comedic level as Lem and Phil. For example, Portia de Rossi's Veronica Palmer, the cold-hearted executive everyone loves to hate, has her moments, though in my opinion, her lines can be kind of hit-or-miss. Regardless, Better Off Ted is a show worth checking out. While the office satire is never really biting, the show is consistently funny without pulling its punches.

[Unfortunately, the future of Better Off Ted is still in question, as it has yet to be renewed for a third season. Also, I'm pretty sure the second season just ended. I suggest checking out Hulu.com for the most recent episodes.]

2. Human Target

Please note that this show literally just started. As such, it is difficult to really judge whether you are or aren't watching. However, if you haven't picked up on this little gem yet, let's make one thing clear: Human Target is one of the most fun and carefree hours of television to be found on any channel.

Adapted from a DC Comic with the same title, Human Target follows the exploits of professional bodyguard and security expert Christopher Chance (Mark Valley), his business partner Winston (Chi McBride), and freelance hacker Guerrero (the always awesome Jackie Earle Haley). But the similarities don't end with the names. Human Target has all the trappings of some of the better comic book movies of recent history: storied characters, highly choreographed fight scenes, and genuine comedy.

At first glance, Chance seems like a cookie-cutter action protagonist. Two-parts James Bond, one-part Jack Bauer, Chance quickly proves to be a jack-of-all-awesome-trades, demonstrating his ability to speak fluent Japanese, negotiate tense hostage situations, and kick serious ass, all before the end of the pilot episode. With such a broad action-hero skill set, it would be easy for Chance to become a shallow, one-note character. Fortunately, this is not the case. Throughout the first four episodes, we slowly begin to learn that Chance's past (specifically, how he acquired is skills and got into the business in the first place) is covered in shadows. It seems he has more than a few skeletons in his closet, and as demonstrated in Guerrero's side-story in Episode 4, some of these skeletons may be coming back to bite him in the ass. This gives the character some much needed emotional depth, and gives the show legs beyond a patchwork of fast paced action scenes and confident quips.

But don't let me lead you astray; this show is all about the action. And not the 24-esque staged-gunfight-where-only-the-bad-guy-gets-shot kind of action. The fight scenes in Human Target are much more akin to the Daniel Craig-era bond movies: hard-hitting, gritty, and highly choreographed. They are simply blast to watch. Also, thanks to the interactions between Chance and his support team, there is a substantial amount of genuine humor.

This show is not without its flaws, however, and depending on who you are, some may be harder to overlook than others. First, this show is ridden with action movie cliches. For example, in the most recent episode, Winston actually has to decide between cutting the red wire or the blue wire while trying to disarm a bomb. Of course, he makes the right decision, and of course, the timer stops with exactly one second remaining (would anyone really wait till the last second to make that decision? Wouldn't you want some sort of cushion?). Second, some of stunts are truly absurd. Whether he is parachuting out of a bullet train, flying a commercial airplane upside down, crashing his motorcylce into oncoming traffic on purpose, or sliding down a cable and crashing into a suspended gondola, Chance just seems a little bit more than human (perhaps superhuman). In short, to really enjoy this show, you have to suspend your mental reality for a bit and just accept the show for what it is. And this can all be done with one simple realization: its a comic book! As long as you keep that in mind, then jump on board with Human Target. You wont be disappointed.

[Human Target airs on Wednesday at 8pm on FOX. Back episodes are available on Hulu: http://www.hulu.com/human-target].

3. Accidentally on Purpose

I can already hear the giggles in the audience. For some reason, this show seems to have gotten a reputation as a "chick show." Perhaps its because it has a female main character. Perhaps its because the central conflict of the show is an accidental pregnancy. Regardless, as someone who is not afraid of admitting I watch Project Runway every week, I have no qualms with confidently stating the following: yes, I watch Accidentally on Purpose. No, it's not just for women. And yes, it definitely deserves a spot on this list.

Accidentally on Purpose follows the budding romance between two accidental co-parents, the middle-aged Billie (sitcom veteran Jenna Elfman) and twenty-something Zack (newcomer Jon Foster). While both are entirely serviceable as leads (particularly the energetic Elfman), this show would not survive without the support of Billie's sister Abby (Lennon Parham) and Zack's stoner buddy Davis (Nicholas Wright). The counterpoint between Billie's free-spirit and Abby's nerves is a consistently funny juxtaposition, and Davis is delightful as the idiotic punch-line character.

For those of you who may be apprehensive about the pregnancy story-line, fear not. Accidentally on Purpose does its best Knocked Up impression, and largely, it succeeds. The similarities are so apparent its almost plagiarism: successful business woman meets screw-up guy, and in one drunken lustful episode, become eternally bound through child conception. After the woman decides to keep the child, the story tracks the developing relationship between the couple, who try to "make it work" and adapt to eachother's foreign lifestyle, and eventually find love regardless of their differences. It worked hilariously in Knocked Up, and Accidentally on Purpose finds similar success.

While the interactions between Billie and Zack are often humorous, it is when we catch glimpses of Zack's previous lifestyle that the show becomes thoroughly enjoyable. For example, in the most recent episode, the audience watches as Zack and Davis play "blow the pencil across the table." Later, Davis and his roommate Ryan are playing the Jackass-inspired game "Nut Ball" (look it up). In a previous episode, Zack and Davis have fun with a giant cardboard box the baby's crib came in. This childish gallivanting creates more than enough entertainment for all viewers, and enough relatability to keep similarly-aged men from being turned off by the pregnancy-packed storyline.

The weak point of the show comes in the form of the third-tier characters. While Billie, Abby, Zack, and Davis are all very enjoyable and well-acted, Billie's coworker Olivia (a Scottish booze-hound), and Davis's roommate Ryan (who magically disappears from a number of episodes) are complete throwaways. First, Olivia just seems like an attempt by the writing squad to come up with an unconventional character to provide a few punchlines. The end result is a poorly-acted mess of a character who is neither funny enough nor attractive enough to warrant any screen time. And why is she Scottish? Does that make her funnier, like some sort of Groundskeeper Willy-like wench? No sir, I don't like it. Second, Ryan might as well be invisible. The character is essentially a non-character, and when he takes a more prominent role in the story (as he does in the most recent episode), the chemistry between the other characters suffers.

Regardless, Accidentally on Purpose is definitely worth a look, especially if you are a fan of CBS's other Monday night sitcoms. [Accidentally on Purpose airs on Mondays at 8:30pm of CBS. Back episodes can be found on CBS.com: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/accidentally_on_purpose/].