Dr. Zoidberg
Some may argue that Dr. Zoidberg is too central a character to qualify for this list. However, I have decided to not care what those people think, mainly because ever since I watched my first episode of "Futurama," I immediately knew that Zoidberg was my favorite character. The only alien member of the Planet Express crew, Zoidberg is the company's medical specialist. However, the term "specialist" should be used lightly. Most of Zoidberg's attempts at medicine act as demonstrations of his lack of knowledge regarding the human anatomy, such as his assumption that Fry is missing a dorsal fin and should have more than one mouth. To add to the hilarity, he is quite poor and appears to be homeless, jumping at the chance to consume any type of food whatsoever (more often that not, garbage). Zoidberg is also the Planet Express crew's perennial punching bag, constantly taking the blame when things go wrong. He is the show's biggest underdog, and is lovable for that reasons alone. But for all we know about Dr. Zoidberg, there are many questions that remain unanswered, such as: Did he ever really graduate from medical school? Probably not. Is he Jewish? Who knows. Does he really have a cousin named Zoidfarb? One can only assume. Does he like to scuttle around like a crab? You bet!- Zoidberg: I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar
- Zoidberg: Only $14.99 for a two-record set? Two records! Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're becoming a crafty consumer! [Dials the phone] Hello? I'll take eight!
- Zoidberg: Now, if you'll excuse me, there is some ravioli on the floor with only two footprints on it. [Bender walks by] Three footprints. [Zoidberg drops to the floor and starts eating noisily]
- Zoidberg: In my experience, boxes are usually empty, or maybe with a little cheese stuck to the top. And one time, pepperoni. What a day that was!
Zapp Brannigan is probably the most popular recurring character among casual and die hard "Futurama" fans alike. Brannigan is a high ranking officer of the Democratic Order of Planets (DOOP) military, and captain of the Nimbus spaceship. He is also completely incompetent, terribly misogynistic, unreasonably cocky, and perhaps even a bit bi-curious. Normally, such a character would make up for his mental shortcomings with an excess of brawn. Unfortunately for Zapp, he is also overweight and out of shape (and the short red velor uniform/dress he wears doesn't leave much to the imagination). Luckily, Zapp is too stupid to truly recognize his shortcomings. Instead, he spends most of his days sending his loyal troops on suicide missions, trying to win the heart of Leela, mispronouncing words like "champagne" (sham-pag-en) and "guacamole" (gwak-uh-mole), mixing metaphors, and generally making life for his melancholy lieutenant Kif Kroker completely and totally miserable. Here's hoping Zapp's exploits (sexual and otherwise) continue into the new season.
- Zapp: Welcome to my humble chamber. Or as I call it, "The Lovenasium".
- Zapp: [To Kif] As my protégé you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her. [Pause] This time we are sure she's female, right?
- Zapp: Now you're officially my woman. Kudos! I can't say I don't envy you.
- Zapp: I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
- Zapp: If it's a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What did I call it?
Kif: [groans] ...sexlexia.
I have to agree with FatFat McWhoDat on this one. Hedonismbot is one of the most hilarious and tragically underutilized characters on "Futurama." He also represents the true wackiness and absurdity underlying every episode of the show. As described in yesterday's articles, Hedonismbot is the robot embodiment of the hedonism school of ethics, which believes pleasure is the only intrinsic good. Thus Hedonismbot lives in constant decadence and overdoes just about everything. For example, he is made of solid gold, is constantly in a reclining position, and spends most of his time feeding grapes to himself off of his bulbous stomach (when he isn't being painted with chocolate icing, of course). But the true absurdity of Hedonismbot presents itself when you try and imagine the purpose for which he was created. You see, most of the robots in the "Futurama" universe seem to have been created with some job in mind (though not all follow their designated career path). Bender, for example, was designed to bend girders. Dr. Perceptron was built to diagnose and treat criminally insane robots. Trying to figure out exactly how or why Hedonismbot was created is a much more challenging task, and I think that is part of why the character is so hilarious.
- Hedonismbot: Your latest performance was as delectable as dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams.
- Hedonismbot: But I'm not done vomiting!
- Hedonismbot: Surgery in an opera? How wonderfully decadent! And just when I was beginning to lose interest... Djambi, the chocolate icing! [Djambi begins painting chocolate icing onto Hedonism Bot's stomach]
- Hedonismbot: That's ludicrous! Almost like saying I don't like a good power sanding of my nipples. [power sands his nipples] ooooh aaaah"
As king and queen of the planet Omicron Persei 8, Lrrr and Nd-Nd pose the greatest threat to Earth, and have invaded the planet on many occasions. However, in reality, Lrrr and Nd-Nd are much like the older married Earthican couples, just much bigger, greener, and uglier. In fact, most of the conflicts between Earth and the Omicronians are grounded in some simple cultural misunderstandings. For example, in the episode "When Aliens Attack," Lrrr and Nd-Nd wage war on Earth when the show "Single Female Lawyer" (a spoof of "Alley Mcbeal") suddenly goes off the air, when in reality it had been off the air for over 1000 years, but the signal was reaching Omicron Persei 8 on an extremely long delay. Lrrr and Nd-Nd have also shown their softer side on a few occasions, and at one point became completely smitten after being introduced to Big Foot, finding the lumbering beast to be irresistibly cute. And that just proves the old adage: deep down, even gross aliens who devour human beings whole can sometimes not be complete jerks.
- Nd-Nd: Oh, I don't know. Lrrr used to be so tender.
Lrrr: [groans] I only wrote that poem to test my printer! - Lrrr: [Eating candy hearts] These candies are chalky and unpleasant!
Nd-Nd: And what is this emotion you humans call "wuv"?
Lrrr: Surely it says "love".
Nd-Nd: No, "wuv", with an Earth W. Behold.
Lrrr: This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! - Lrrr: [watching "FRIENDS"] This is ancient Earth's most foolish program. Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
Nd-Nd: Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps.
Scruffy works for the Planet Express delivery company as the janitor. He likes porn. Oh, and he also owns four times as many shares of Planet Express stock than any of its other employees. And...um...yeah, that's about it.
- Bender: Who the hell is he?
Scruffy: I'm Scruffy... the janitor. - Bender: Who are you?
Scruffy: Scruffy. I'm the janitor.
Bender: Then why aren't you fixing the boiler?
Scruffy: Schedule conflict. [Scruffy slowly flips the pages of the magazine "Zero-G Jugs"] - Leela: Who are you?
Scruffy: Scruffy, the janitor.
Leela: I've never seen you before.
Scruffy: I've never seen you before neither. - Scruffy: Scruffy's gonna die the way he lived. [Scruffy slowly flips the pages of "Zero-G Jugs"]
Zoidberg is clearly the best. Whoop whoop whoop whoop.
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