You have made a wise decision which I support wholeheartedly. The iPhone can be very tempting, with its fancy bells and whistles and touted "user friendliness". However, once you move past the initial wow factor that results from rolling a pair of virtual dice by jostling your iPhone in a suggestively vulgar way, it becomes clear that the Blackberry is the choice for true phone functionality. Sure, a touchscreen is really cool. But I would never trade the tactile responsiveness of a trackball and hard keyboard for the coolness of an app that lets me toss a virtual ball of paper into a trash bin by dragging my finger across the screen. Maybe that's just me. Maybe.
Regardless of my extensive praise for the RIM devices, there is one part of the Blackberry experience, however, that is so incredibly overrated and overblown that it needs to once and for all be put in its place. I am talking of course about the revered "Brick Breaker" application.
First things first: this game is NOT revolutionary, new, or unique in any way, shape, or form. This genre of game all started in 1976 with Atari's arcade game "Breakout," and has been emulated thousands of times since in titles like "Arkanoid (picture)," "Quester," "DX Ball," and countless other iterations. That is not to say that these types of games are lame because they are old; some of the most popular game mechanics were pioneered in the fetal stages of the video game industry, and still stand up as worthwhile and addicting to this very day. The "Breakout" formula is no exception--just a month or so ago, a "Breakout"-esque game titled"Magic Ball" was released for download on the PlayStation Network, albeit with HD graphics and more advanced play mechanics (Metacritic Score: 66%). Still, I think it is important to first inform the masses of Blackberry owners who are first experiencing this type of game through "Brick Breaker" that it is far from unique, and is merely a very simple take on a 30+ year-old genre. (For more info about the hundreds of similar games, check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breakout_clones)But like I said, it is not the age of the formula that drags "Brick Breaker" down. It is the piss-poor execution. "Brick Breaker" cannot stand side by side with even some of the earliest "Breakout" clones, and I can enumerate more than a few reasons why.
First, the game's "physics" are inconsistent at best and incredibly absurd at worst. Specifically, the ricocheting of the ball off of bricks and walls is unpredictable. In any normal game of this genre, the ball will reflect off any surface at the exact same angle and speed it comes in at (aside from when it hits the paddle itself, of course, which puts more angle on the reflection the closer the ball hits to the paddle's edges). In "Brick Breaker," this is not always true. Take for instance level 13. In this level, there is an "L" shaped barricade of metal, unbreakable bricks surrounding a diamond of breakable bricks, which can only be entered through a small space at the very top of the barricade. I can't count the number of times I've sent my ball up through the barricade's entrance, watched it bounce around, breaking a few bricks, and then watched in shock as the ball suddenly and inexplicably changed its angle and speed. There have even bee times when have a seen a shot ricochet off a wall in the exact opposite direction it was originally heading! WTF? Such randomness seriously detracts from the skillful angling involved in these "Breakout" style games, as a well-placed shot may without warning suddenly change direction and speed, forcing the player to chase frantically after the errant ball with little to no reward for their finesse and skill.
Beyond the game engine itself, there are many design choices that just seem plain lazy. For instance, the edges of the paddle are extremely misleading. Only the large flat surface of the paddle will reflect the ball. The substantially sized angled surfaces on both edges of the paddle allows the ball to pass on through as if they don't even exist. This is extremely unnecessary and confusing, as for all intents and purposes, it looks as if the ball would bounce up off the angled edges of the paddle. But it doesn't. So why are they even there? Just to add a bit of befuddlement and more than a few unnecessary deaths to any beginners attempts to set a high score, I guess. FAIL.
Another major design failure is in the design of the bricks themselves. First of all (quickly apply the "Chandler" voice), could they be any more bland? Even in the earliest games of the genre, the bricks were multi-colored, often creating interesting designs in each level for you to break apart. In "Brick Breaker," there is absolutely no variety in how the game looks, and it is very boring. But an even bigger problem with the bricks, one that has a serious affect on the gameplay, is that for some reason, each brick was designed with a ball's width of space to the right side. If you look closely, no bricks ever actually touch when placed side-by-side. This allows the ball to sometimes pass through a row of bricks instead of bouncing off, which in itself is bizarre. What's worse is that this design choice doesn't seem to have been made in order to reward accurate ball placement. This becomes obvious once you realize that the bricks are placed directly against the left wall of every level, with no pass-through space on that side, while there is substantial space on the right side of every brick, and between the rightmost brick and the right wall. If this was an intentional choice made to award accurate shooters, why would the designers not leave space along both walls? It doesn't make sense, and is clearly just a remnant of poor programming of the brick "characters". Whats more is that, as I stated earlier, the physics in the game are far too inaccurate to allow for precision placement where a player could intentionally send a ball between bricks; it just happens when the ball randomly finds its way through one of the spaces. This all leads to the conclusion that this is simply a result of lazy designing, and is another blemish on this revered game's face.
My next issue with the game lies within its items system. Don't get me wrong, this system grants the game much of it's excitement and replayability (unlike the ever worse "Breakout" clone that comes included in ever iPod which contains no power-ups whatsoever). However, there are some unexplainable factors, which again lead to the conclusion that the designers of this game were just plain lazy. First, there are more than a handful of positive items, including but not limited to "laser," "long", "bomb," "catch," and the ever sought after "life," and only one negative one: "flip." In my opinion, I think the game would add even more excitement from upping the number of negative items, creating an even more tension. Such negative could include an item that speeds the balls up, or an item that shrinks the paddle's size. These types of items are commonplace in other "Breakout" clones, and there is no reason to leave them out, especially if you are gonna include the incredibly frustrating "flip."
A bigger gripe comes into play when a player tries to mix certain items with others. A lot of times, certain items will remove others, items that seem like they should be able to function together. Now, I completely understand and agree with the decision to have "life" remove all other items a player has picked up. It creates a nice balance to the game and seems like a very intuitive and well-thought out move. I also understand not being able to have a "laser" and "gun" simultaneously. Finally, I understand why picking up a "catch" cancels out a "multi," and vice versa, as you can't catch and aim more than one ball at a time, it would get very complicated. But why can't I use "catch" with anything? "Catch" removes the properties of every other item a player may have picked up, and it doesn't make sense. Why can't I "catch" with a "long" paddle? Or "catch" and keep my ability to fire lasers or missiles? Even more confusing is that "bomb" does the same thing! I was just playing, picked up a "long," which doubled my paddle's size, then picked up a "bomb," and my paddle returned to its original size. Why, I say, WHY?
Now for those of you who never played "Brick Breaker," understand that some items do work together. For instances, you will maintain you "laser" after picking up a "multi," or a "wrap." So it seems nonsensical that some items work together and others don't, barring the few examples I conceded above that are very plainly mutually exclusive.
A smaller gripe with the weapons deals with the "gun" powerup. This item grants you the ability to fire three missiles which are powerful enough to destroy the metal, normally unbreakable bricks. Your munitions appear under the otherwise useless "ammo" section of the scoreboard/sidebar. When you pick this item up, you are granted 3 missiles, and the "ammo" reading changes from 0 to (you guessed it) 3. But why can't I have more than 3? Say I pick up a "gun," fire off one missile, watch as my "ammo" ticks from 3 down to 2, then pick up another "gun" item. Now, intuition may lead you to think that you should now have five missiles, as 3 + 2 = 5 (Hooray for math). But much to my dismay, your ammo is capped off at 3. This really isn't a big deal, but it seems like there would be an added layer of depth if you could stock up on missiles.
Furthermore, (apply the "Seinfeld" voice) what's the deal with "slow." I see no difference in the speed of neither my ball NOR my paddle after picking up this item. I'm convinced it does absolutely nothing except give me some extra points. If that is in fact all it does and I'm not missing something, then you should call it "points," not "slow." Duh.
And "wrap" sucks. It is a hindrance, not a benefit. Whoop that trick (get 'em!).
Now I could continue my rant, detailing how some levels become near impossible and unplayable once the bricks lower down to their threshold height (um, level 16 and 13 and any other with a row of metal bricks at the very bottom), or how the background never changes (not even after making it through all 34 levels), but I think I've made my point. But if not, here it is again: GET OVER BRICK BREAKER. While it is difficult to complain about a game that comes free with any device, the sheer amount of praise this title receives is completely unwarranted. It is definitely addicting at times for the score chasers and brutally frustrating at times for the gaming sadists, but it is poorly designed, lazily thought-out, and fumblingly executed.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm on my second go-round, am nearing my high score, and just reached level 16. Please send me a "gun." PLEASE!
Love always,
The Spot
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