6.08.2010

Five Video Game-to-Film Adaptations that Should Happen

[NOTE: There is something very exciting at the end of this article, so make sure you read all the way through...or skip to the end if you feel like cheating...you cheater...]

Last month, I posted an article titled "May-Flowers," in which I highlighted five movies being released in the month of May that I believed, based on preliminary information, were worth watching. One of those films was Prince of Perisa: the Sands of Time, perhaps the first video game-to-film adaptation to be made with the a budget, production and casting comparable to high profile adventure movies like Pirates of the Caribbean and the like. Accordingly, my expectations were high. And unfortunately, while I haven't seen the film myself, the general consensus is disappointment across the board. It seems that while the movie was at times entertaining and fun, it was completely forgettable, lacked emotional gravitas, and pandered to too young a crowd.

However, despite the lukewarm reviews (40% on Tomatometer) and box office failures (grossing less than $38 million domestically),  I still consider Prince of Persia a success. Not as a film, per se, but as a step forward for the future of video game-to-film adaptations. When you consider how truly terrible the vast majority of these films are (with only five out of the twenty-nine ranked by Rotten Tomatoes scoring above a 30% on the Tomatometer, with Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within's 44% in first place) and how little care has been put into adapting the source material, Prince of Persia could signal the beginning of a rebirth for the genre, a sort of video game-to-film renaissance with big name producers (like PoP's Bruckheimer) and directors partnering with major studios and premiere actors to give some of the better video game storylines their theatrical due recognition. And it is with this hope in mind that I present to you my list of the top five video game-to-film adaptations that should happen (make sure you read them all, especially the LAST one).


Halo: Combat Evolved 
Plot: Movie opens with a marine spacecraft--The Pillar of Autumn--being attacked by warring alien forces known as The Covenant. In an attempt to fight back, the humans wake bioengineered super-solider Master Chief from cryo-sleep. Master Chief, along with his AI companion Cortana and the surviving human forces, fights his way to the ship’s escape pods, but the pods crash land on an unidentified celestial formation: the ring-shaped “Halo.” The war between the humans and the Covenant continues on the surface of the Halo, however neither are aware that a much more sinister force rests within the Halo’s surface, one with the power to destroy all sentient life in the universe: the parasitic Flood. 
Why it would be a great movie: take the gritty battle scenes of Saving Private Ryan, add in some high-tech, sci-fi weapons and vehicles, and finish it off with a sort of zombies-in-space vibe (thanks to the Flood), and you get a movie that, with a large enough budget and the right special effects, could easily be a huge summer blockbuster and a memorable sci-fi epic. 
What will work: huge set-piece moments from the game, like the assault on the Covenant spacecraft and the first time the Flood is introduced, lend themselves perfectly to the big screen. 
What won’t work: the puny, squeaky-voiced Covenant grunts are just a bit too comical and ridiculous, and would impinge on the films otherwise mature tone. 
Possible cast: Master Chief (voice)- Ron Pearlman; Cortana- Milla Jovovich; Colonel Johnson- Keith David

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves 
Plot: The movie opens with quick cuts of Nathan Drake, a young wise-cracking treasure hunter, running through the sewers of Istanbul alongside fellow hunters Chloe Frazer and Harry Flynn. They soon reach a museum, and sneak in with the intent to steal an old Mongolian lamp. With the lamp in hand, Flynn quickly double-crosses Drake, revealing he is really working for Zoran Lazarevic, a supposedly dead war criminal. Flynn escapes with Frazer, and Drake is captured. Drake spends three months in prison, after which he is set free by Frazer and his old friend Victor “Sully” Sullivan. Frazer informs Drake that Lazarevic is searching for Marco Polo’s lost fleet and the fabled wish-granting Cintamani Stone, the location of which was hidden within the Mongolian lamp. The three team up and follow Lazarevic and Flynn through the jungles of Borneo, the war-torn cities of Nepal (where they cross paths with Drake’s old girlfriend Elena Fisher), and the snowy peaks of Tibet, and eventually reaching their final destination: the lost kingdom of Shambhala, home of the Tree of Life. 
Why it would be a great movie: More than any other game I have ever played, Uncharted 2 felt like it was made for the silver screen. The believable characters, the funny, human dialogue, the jaw-dropping action sequences, the beautiful and varied environments; this game was every bit a theatrical experience, and a far more exciting adventure than both of those stupid Nation Treasure movies and the fourth Indiana Jones combined.
What will work: Remember that part of the game where Drake is fighting Lazarevic’s soldiers in a building in Nepal when suddenly a helicopter comes and blows the building in half? Remember how Drake is still firing his pistols as the room he is standing in up-ends and the building quickly turns to rubble? Remember how Drake at the last second makes a death-defying leap out of the window and into the adjacent building as the everything around him crumbles to the ground? Yeah, that. 
What won’t work: Remember those snow yeti’s Drake fought in Tibet? Remember the purple-skinned guardians of Shambhala? Remember how they were like the same thing? Yeah, that.
Possible Cast: Nathan Drake- Chris Evans; Chloe Frazer- Angelina Jolie; Elena Fisher- Leslie Bibb; Zoran Lazarevic- Mark Strong

Final Fantasy VII (Part I) 
Plot: The industrial metropolis Midgar, controlled by the power hungry Shinra Company, is in distress. While the upper “plate” of the city is prospering, the land below has become a desolate, starving slum, completely drained of the planet’s natural “Mako” energy due to Shinra’s activities. A rebel group known as AVALANCHE forms, lead by Barret Wallace and Tifa Lockhart. The group is soon joined by Tifa’s childhood friend Cloud Strife, an ex-member of SOLDIER, a military unit run by Shinra. AVALANCHE begins launching attacks on Shinra’s many Mako reactors throughout Midgar. After discovering the location of the AVALANCHE hideout, Shinra quickly responds by dropping the upper plate onto all of Sector 7 of Midgar, destroying everyone and everything that lived there. Shinra also succeeds in capturing Aeris Gainsborough, a flower girl who had enlisted Cloud’s help as her bodyguard. Enraged, Cloud, Tifa, and Barret launch an attack on the Shinra headquarters. However, they soon realize that it is not Shinra they should fear, but Sephiroth, a legendary warrior who once fought alongside Cloud and has been presumed dead for some time. After rescuing Aeris, AVALANCHE begins a long trek across the planet in attempt to thwart Sephiroth’s deranged plans to destroy the world.  
Why it would be a great movie: There is a reason that Final Fantasy VII brought role-playing games into the mainstream. Its sci-fi story line made it much more accessible than the fantasy-fare found in earlier titles, as did its rough-yet-lovable lead characters. This is particularly true of the first part of the game, which takes place entirely within the city limits of the high-tech Midgar. This section of the game was fast-paced and easy to follow, making it much more appropriate for the big screen then the more drawn-out, esoteric later parts. Sure, a sequel could be made to continue the story; the game is way too long to squeeze into one movie anyway.
What will work: Cloud escaping from the Shinra soldiers by jumping onto the top of a moving train; Cloud, Tifa, and Barret narrowly avoiding the falling Sector 7 plate by zip-lining to safety; the Cloud-Tifa-Aeris love triangle and the hostile friendship between Cloud and Barret. And for the cliffhanger? After saving Aeris, the team heads off to take care of the man in charge of Shinra, only to find him brutally slaughtered by Sephiroth.  
What won’t work: To save time, certain non-essential sections may need to be sidestepped, including the ridiculous (yet humorous) part of the game where Cloud cross-dresses in order to gain entrance to the perverted mob boss Don Corneo’s mansion
Possible Cast: Cloud Strife- Chris Pine; Barret Wallace- Quinton Jackson; Tifa Lockhart- Keira Knightley; Aeris Gainsborough- Natalie Portman

Resident Evil (reboot) 
Plot: The residents of Raccoon City are worried after a series of bizarre murders occur in the nearby Arklay Mountains, with the victims’ bodies showing signs of cannibalism. The Raccoon City Police Department’s Special Tactics and Rescue Service (STARS) is assigned to investigate the murders, and deploys their Bravo team to investigate the area. When contact is lost with the Bravo team, the Alpha team, comprised of Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, and Barry Burton (among others), are deployed. After  discovering the Bravo team’s helicopter, the Alpha team is attacked by a pack of violent, murderous dogs, and are forced to seek refuge within a nearby mansion. Once inside, the team splits up in an attempt to locate their missing comrades and find out more about the strange murders. What they find, however, is much graver: the mansion has been the site of many illegal experiments carried out by the Umbrella Corporation, a pharmaceutical conglomerate. The terrible results of these experiments (and the subsequently created T-Virus) terrorize the Alpha team throughout the mansion, including zombies and other mutated monstrosities. The team eventually discovers a research facility located below the mansion’s foundation, where they learn that Wesker has actually been working for Umbrella all along, and has lured Valentine and Redfield there in order to test out his most sinister creation: the massive humanoid bio-weapon known as the “Tyrant." 
Why it would be a great movie: Ok, I can already hear you all complaining, “but I thought Resident Evil was already adapted into a movie.” Well, that’s only partially true. The storylines from the movies don’t really match up with those in the video games, and have as a result never done the original game series justice (and also just plain sucked). The original Resident Evil game works as a great contained incident, and if handled correctly, could rise above its B-movie roots. 
What will work: Every terror that Valentine and Redfield face in the game would translate perfectly to the big screen, including the zombies, zombie-dogs, giant spiders, and Hunter monsters, as well as some of the game’s perilous traps, like the room with the lowering ceiling and the underground tunnel with the giant boulder.
What won’t work: A return of the game’s absolutely terrible B-movie dialogue and voice acting, on the other hand, would be an epic fail. See for example: “Jill, here's a lockpick. It might come in handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you.” “That was too close. You were almost a Jill sandwich!” “I hope this is not Chris’ blood!"
Possible Cast: Chris Redfield- Karl Urban; Albert Wesker- Viggo Mortensen; Jill Valentine- Liv Tyler; Barry Burton- Bruce Campbell

Mortal Kombat (reboot)
Another one that has already been made into a series of terrible movies, imagine how gritty and terrifying a Mortal Kombat reboot would be if it was full out R rated and ripe with gore. For example, what if all the disfigured “outlanders” from the video games were re-imagined as deranged, deformed, yet human serial killers? What if Jax and Sonya were police officers trying to put an end to their violence? What if Shang Tsung was a rich gangster who hosted a fight-to-the-death tournament, giving each side a chance to tear apart the other? Oh, and what if everything I’ve said so far IS ACUALLY BEING MADE INTO A MOVIE!?!? Yup, that’s right. A trailer has been posted on Youtube for a new Mortal Kombat movie, one with a much darker, grittier, more realistic tone than the campy, crappy original series. And based on the high production values and fight choreography, I don’t think this is a simple teaser or practical joke. Check out the trailer here, and prepare to escape to geek paradise.

6.07.2010

iPhone 4 Announcement and Information

As most of you know, The Spot is a PC, through and through. Be that as it may, I know a cool piece of technology when I see one, and I have to say, the iPhone 4 is most assuredly piquing my interest. As I write this, Steve Jobs is on stage at the WWDC 2010 (Apple's World Wide Developers Conference) discussing all the specs and perks of this next-gen device. While you can follow the live blog of the event on CNET, the basic improvements are as follows (I am writing this at 2:00pm EST, and since I don't have clairvoyance, anything that hasn't been announced yet will not be listed here): first of all, the device is 1/4 slimmer than the iPhone 3GS ("thinnest on the planet"). As per consumer demand, it has both a back facing AND a front facing camera, which is huge news as it will presumably allow for super easy video conferencing. The back facing camera also has a LED flash and will record videos in full 720p HD. The device now uses a "retina display," upping the phone's display resolution fourfold, well beyond the maximum threshold of pixels that the human eye can see. Apparently, this is a good thing, and Jobs is touting that text on the screen will be in no way visibly different from text in a book or magazine. All current apps will apparently scale up to this new resolution automatically. The phone also has more processing power, utilizing the A4 chip found in the company's iPad device. Other notable improvements include two built-in mics, extended battery life, and a built-in antenna that wraps around the entire device (presumably remedying any service-related problems).

Again, check on the live CNET blog for more information as it occurs. But as a funny side-note, at one point in the presentation, while attempting to demonstrate the differences in visual fidelity between the 3GS and 4, Jobs attempted to access the NY Times application on both phones. However, he couldn't, and received error messages like "cannot activate cellular networks," to many laughs from the audience. His continue efforts proved futile, and he remarked: "I'm sorry guys, I don't know what's going on. Got any suggestions?" Then, someone shouts from the audience: "Verizon!" Haha, good stuff.

[A special thanks to IGN.com for the image above]

5.29.2010

Miss the Deputy?

Some of you have probably noticed that the Deputy hasn't posted anything on the blog recently. Well, I regret to inform you that him and I have cordially parted ways, blog-wise. He will truly be missed.

However, for those of you who miss his unique brand of blogging, fear not. He is currently spending the summer abroad in Madrid, and is keeping a travelogue blog for your reading pleasure. You can check his near-daily updates here:


http://www.deputyfuriousgeorge.blogspot.com/

On a similar note, I am still looking for new full-time contributors to help me fill these pages with worthwhile material. Check the link above for more information. Happy Memorial Day!

5.27.2010

See Spot Fix: Iron Man 2

***SPOILER ALERT: This article contains spoilers for anyone who has not already seen Iron Man 2. If you still plan on seeing the movie and want to be completely uninformed about it, turn away now***
There's a strange trend among comic book movies that generally doesn't apply to any other genre of film: the second movie is almost always better than the first. This holds true within my own personal opinion, as well as the opinions of critics. Take these numerous examples as proof: Batman Returns was better than the original Batman (77% to 71% on RottenTomatoes), X2 was much better than X-Men (88% to 81%), Spider-Man 2 was better than Spider-Man (94% to 90%), The Dark Knight was better reviewed than Batman Begins (94% to 85%, though I tend to disagree here), Blade 2 was better than Blade (58% to 55%), and heck, even the awful Rise of the Silver Surfer was better than the original Fantastic Four (36% to 26%). So it is no surprise that hopes were high for Iron Man 2. The first film in the series was a resounding success, pleasing 93% of critics and grossing over four times it's production budget at the box office.  And while the sequel has already seen similar financial success, the consensus among critics is that Iron Man 2 has not lived up to expectations as a film (74% on RottenTomatoes).

I got the chance to screen Iron Man 2 for myself last Friday, and I definitely agree that it had its fair share of shortcomings. However, there were many parts of the film that worked. For one, Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark is as witty, cool, and confident as he was in the first movie. Watching Stark gallivant like a carefree playboy and banter effortlessly with girlfriend-turned-CEO Pepper Potts is immense amounts of fun. I also enjoyed Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer. He was convincing as a rival weapons manufacturer trying to keep his head up after years of being best by Stark Industries, and his performance was at once comical and desperate. Finally, I found that specific parts of the movie were on par with the level of excitement and masterful pacing of the first film. Particularly, the opening and closing acts of the movie were gripping and action-packed, and well worth the price of admission.

All in all, Iron Man 2 was definitely entertaining. However, this article is titled "See Spot Fix," not "See Spot Praise," so let's get down to brass tacks. Here is my list of places where the film stumbled, and how it could have been improved:

Excessive Plotting: There was a LOT going on in this movie. Like, four of five movies' worth of plot. Don't believe me? Well here is my attempt to hit most of the big plot points: Stark struggles with the realization that the device that is keeping him alive is actually killing him. Stark seeks a cure for this problem, forging his own brand-new element. Stark fights pressure from the US government to turn over the Iron Man "weapon" to the military. Stark struggles with daddy issues after learning that his father betrayed the original co-creator of the Arc Reactor: Anton Vanko. Stark seeks to complete his father's life's work. Stark interfaces with SHIELD Director Nick Fury and learns more about the "Avenger Initiative." Stark appoints Pepper as the new CEO of Stark Industries. Pepper wrestles with her new found responsibility. Pepper continues to try and keep Stark, her potential love interest, in line. Stark hires Natalie Rushman as his new assistant. Rushman reveals that she is actually SHIELD super spy Natasha Romanov ("The Black Widow") and has been monitoring Stark for the "Avenger Initiative." Stark and Rhodey's friendship is tested after Rhodey is forced to testify against Stark. Rhodey steals the "Mark II" Iron Man weapon for use by the government. Rhodey enlists the help of Justin Hammer to load the Mark II with advanced firepower. Ivan Vanko, son of Anton, seeks revenge on Stark for his father's wrongdoings. Vanko builds a suit and attacks Stark while racing in Monaco. Vanko is imprisoned, but fakes his own death and his freed by Hammer. Hammer enlists Vanko's help to create a line of suits that would put the Iron Man weapon to shame. Vanko uses this opportunity to improve his own suit and create an army of powerful drone robots to take down Stark during Hammer's presentation at the Stark expo..........exhausted yet? I sure was. The worst part is that the vast majority of this plotting began and finished during the middle hour and a half of the movie, between the excellent opening and closing acts I mentioned earlier. In short, this movie would have benefited from being way more focused. If more time was spent pitting Vanko and Stark against one another, and less time was spent in Stark's workshop as he tried to solve his health problems (which could have been completely lifted out of the movie without affecting the primary plot line whatsoever), the film would not have bogged down in the middle and viewers would have remained engaged throughout.  

The New Rhodey: I thought Terrence Howard did a fantastic job portraying James Rhodes, Stark's best friend and liaison to the US military, in the first movie. Thus I was a bit disappointed when I heard he would not be returning to the role in the sequel, and would be replaced by Don Cheadle. Don't get me wrong; I think Cheadle is a great actor. But I just didn't love his take on Rhodey. Howard's Rhodey was the perfect companion for Downey's Stark: more responsible and militant, yet with the ability to match wits with Stark even at his most quippy ("How was the 'Fun-vee?'"). However, I found Cheadle's Rhodey to be too stiff lipped and by-the-book. Maybe it is just my taste, and maybe it is because I rewatched the original Iron Man the night before seeing the sequel, but Cheadle's Rhodey just wasn't cool enough for me. For example, I could never picture Howard's Rhodey stealing the Mark II suite and screaming "everybody out" during Stark's birthday party. I know this was, to some extent, out of director John Favreau's hands, but I was very disappointed in the new Rhodey, no matter how bad ass he made the Mark II armor (see image). 

The Fight Scenes: I have two major complaints with the fight scenes in Iron Man 2. First, I never got the sense that Stark's physical flesh was in any real danger at any point in the movie. Sure, the Iron Man armor took some beatings, but I don't remember once thinking that Stark was threatened by any actual pain or mortal injury, and this was particularly true during his two standoffs with Vanko. When Vanko had his electric whips wrapped around Stark's neck, the Iron Man armor appeared to be damaged, but when the film cuts to a shot of Stark's actual face within the suit, it doesn't look like he is suffering from any physical pain whatsoever. This removes much of the sense of heroism and danger from the film, and could easily have been rectified by showing Stark himself being electrified by Vanko's whips, or having him scream out or wince in pain once in a while. My second issue with the fight scenes relates to Stark and Rhodey's battle with Hammer's drone robots. They were just too easily disposed. Now, I'm not even talking about that cool red-laser-wrist-spinning attack Stark does to finish them all off. But even when Stark and Rhodey are using their conventional weapons, the drones are simply felled too easily, and I never accepted them as a true threat. While it was assuredly cool to watch, there was no tension during this fight scene, as even one single Repulsor ray blast from Stark blew each drone into scrap metal. Sure, these drones represented a threat to the public, but how big a threat could the really be if they were dealt with so easily by Rhodey's hand-mounted machine guns.

The "Superhero" Factor: As far as superheroes go, Iron Man definitely has a truly awesome array of (mechanically induced) super powers: flight, super strength, bullet proof skin, powerful energy blasts, enhanced vision, and the list goes on. However, it takes more than just having super powers to be a great superhero. You have to actually know how to effectively use those powers in order to be truly super. That was one of the best parts about the Spider-Man movies. Peter Parker gained his abilities early in the first film, but it wasn't until the final act that he had full control over them, and could use them effectively. And it is how he uses his powers that makes him a true hero. Some examples include using his webs to pull a brick wall down onto the Green Goblin, and stopping the runaway subway car in the second film using his webs and all of his strength. But Iron Man 2 never made me believe that Stark deserved to be a true superhero. In other words, I came away from the movie convinced that anyone who put on the Iron Man armor would be just as effective a superhero as Stark is in the movie. We never see him make crafty or unique decisions with how to best put his powers to work. In fact, in most of the battle scenes, Stark simply stands still and fires his basic Repulsor blasts from his hands, just like any other doofus in the suit could. He rarely uses the environment to his advantage or makes split-second decisions. This point is hammered home when Rhodey dons the Mark II armor for the first time and then proceeds to beat Stark one-on-one in a robo-fistfight. As such, the film portrays the actual "Iron Man" superhero to be more part and parcel to the armor alone than the combo of Stark and the suit. And if that is indeed the case, outside of his quick wit, why is Stark so special? Wouldn't we be better off with a trained marine behind the wheel of the armor? In short, the film does a poor job of convincing me that Stark--the human being--is a necessary piece of the superhero puzzle.
    So Iron-Man 2 wasn't a complete homerun like the first film. Am I disappointed? Yes. Did I still enjoy watching the film? Sure. If nothing else, the film did a great job getting me excited for the upcoming Captain America, Thor, and Avengers movies set to hit theaters over the course of the next two years.

    5.23.2010

    American Idol: Season in Review

    So Season 9 of American Idol is down to its final two contestants: Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox. And after four months, thirteen results shows, over one hundred performances, and even more disgusted grimaces from Simon Cowell, I can safely say that not a single person is surprised. Now, this sentiment leads to two juxtaposed conclusions. On the one hand, we can look forward to a tense finale between two incredibly talented performers and competitors who unquestionably deserve to be there. We are lucky that, this season, America didn't pull a royal pooch-screw a la Chris Daughtry or Latoya London or Jennifer Hudson or Allison Iraheta.

    On the other hand, the fact that everyone knew Lee and Crystal would be the finalists since the very beginning directly speaks to how mediocre the other 10 finalists were. Take last season for example: while everyone knew Adam Lambert was a front-runner from the very beginning, anyone from Danny Gokey to the aforementioned Iraheta and even underdog Matt Giraud could have made it to the big show in the place of Kris Allen (even though Allen ended up winning). However, I would be hard pressed to find a single person with a compelling argument for why Casey James or Mike Lynche or Aaron Kelley should be in the final two instead of Lee and Crystal. Put simply, it was clear from the very beginning that these two finalists were leagues ahead of the competition.

    As such, it would be a fair assessment to say that Season 9 of American Idol has been pretty disappointing. And now, with only one night of performances left, it seems like an appropriate time to reflect on the reasons why this season seemed to fall short of expectations, as well as the few pieces of the puzzle that actually fell into place.

    What Didn't Work


    The first part of this season I took issue with is the job Cowell and his cohorts did selecting the Top 24. Now, I am not strictly talking about the actual talent of the contestants who made the final judge's cut, though that was part of the problem--I mean, how in the millions of people who auditioned was there no body better than the awful Paige Miles and the one-note Lacey Brown. My bigger concern, however, lies within the type of contestant that they chose. There was simply an overwhelming amount of "singer/songwriter," instrument-playing contestants this season. And while being able to play and instrument and have a good voice definitely speaks to a contestant's musical abilities, to me, these guitar playing, folky-folksters don't really embody the true spirit of American Idol. When I think about who should be the American Idol, my mind immediately shoots to post-show success stories like Kelly Clarkson, Clay Aiken, Jennifer Hudson, and Adam Lambert. All of these musicians have incredibly powerful voices with great ears and the show-stopping ability to belt the big notes alongside some of the best vocalists in the industry. And while DeWyze and Bowersox undoubtedly have great voices, other instrument-playing contestants of this season were, too me, total snoozefests, placing too much emphasis on their pick-work and not enough on hitting the right notes and making the songs interesting. Idol is about vocals first and foremost, and the judges failed at picking contestants that recognized and respected this golden rule.


    Second, the weekly themes this season were, in the words of Mr. Cowell, just terrible, and did the sub-par contestants zero favors. Don't get me wrong, Elvis Presley and Frank Sinatra were iconic musicians who defined their respective genres and generations. But their music is in no way relevant to the industry today, and is extremely limiting as far as the variety of their repertoire. So forcing the contestants to pick songs strictly from these musician's songbooks is just a bad call that ended up leaving both the judges and America thoroughly unimpressed. Furthermore, a theme like "Inspirational Songs" tends towards the cliche, so it is no surprise that the judges' most frequent criticism that week was that the performances were very cheesy and old-fashioned. The show needs to stick to simple, genre-related themes like R&B week, Classic Rock week, and Country week. This way, it still forces the contestants to show different sides of them, while allowing them enough freedom to pick a song that does the best at showcasing their unique talents and style. And this season, the themes were way too narrow, and really bizarre.


    Finally, as the weeks wore on, I quickly lost patients for the judging system in general, and Kara DioGuardi in particular. I found that the four judge panel was too cramped, leaving too little time for any one of them to say anything of value, especially given that Simon is last in the lineup, and often provides the most lucid and valuable criticisms. And if I could cut one, it would most assuredly be Kara, not newcomer Ellen, who was an utter delight. Ellen filled Paula Abdul's vacancy nicely, offering up similarly candy-coated critiques but in a much funnier, much clearer manner. However, Kara was simply intolerable. First of all, she used her allotted comment time to spout off every high-level musical term she could (vibrato, falsetto, timbre, tone-color) instead of trimming the fat down to a criticism that is helpful. Second, she was often hypocritical, one week telling a contestant they didn't have a "moment," and the next advising that they focus more on "connecting" with the meaning of the song instead of belting out the big notes. And finally, she made a bad habit of butting in and silencing Simon when he would say something that she disagreed with. YOU GOT YOUR TURN, KARA! NOW ZIP THE LIP!


    What Worked


    If there was one thing that really made this season worth watching, it was the observable growth of the contestants, and their individual stories. Many of the top 12 performers began as timid, reserved singers who shied away from taking risks. Take Aaron Kelly for example. After the top 24 were announced, I was convinced this 17 year old crooner would be gone well before the top 12. Safe, cheesy performances like "My Girl" and "Already There" solidified this belief. However, Aaron took his criticisms in stride, and come the Top 11 week, he simply blew me away with his rendition of "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing." Aaron was able to ride this momentum through a number of memorable performances all the way to the Top 5. The same can be said of finalists Casey James and Lee DeWyze, both of who were truly forgettable at the beginning of the top 12 rounds, but utilized the judges' comments to make vast improvements. Heck, even perennial punching-bag Tim Urban showed marked improvement as the weeks wore on, surprisingly stretching his stay into the top 7. This season more than ever, the contestants needed a lot of advice, and many of them listened diligently. It was interesting to watch who truly improved and grew as the weeks wore on.

    Also, many of the contestants this season had heartwarming and encouraging back-stories, making them easy to root for. This is especially true when considering the top 3. Casey James, a construction worker from Texas, was in a terrible motorcycle accident. Doctor's told him he would never play the guitar again. However, he recovered and took the AI stage with by far the best guitar-playing chops of any contestant in the history of the show. Lee DeWyze never finished high school, and passed his days working in a paint store, never dreaming of the stardom that AI provides. And before Idol, Crystal Bowersox, a single mother, found herself struggling to make it as a musician, living off gratuities she made from playing at train stations and on the streets of Chicago. And I think these points hit upon precisely why I've stuck with Idol this season. I truly believed in these contestants, and in my heart I felt for them and wanted them to succeed. They were, for the most part, all underdogs in my eyes, be it because of their questionable abilities, lack of self confidence, or difficult history.

    Will Crystal and Lee have long, successful careers and remain in the public eye for a long time to come? Maybe. But regardless, I will have a very difficult time choosing which one to root for come Wednesday night, as I deeply want both of these talented artists to win. So good luck, Lee and Crystal. You have made the most of a sub-par season for yourselves and for the American viewers. I will be watching very closely this Tuesday. Please throw caution to the wind and blow me away.

    5.14.2010

    Now Seeking New Full-Time Contributors!

    PopREX fans rejoice! The hiatus has ended! With exams in my past and the summer in my future, I am poised and ready to crank out some quality material for your viewing pleasure. I got some great things cookin' in my overstuffed head, but to really keep the content flowing, The Spot could use some help.

    So, if you are big into pop culture and entertainment (specifically television, music, movies, and video games), and think you have the writing chops and dedication to keep Poposaurus chock-full of thoughtful and fun articles, please reach out to me ASAP with a short sample article so we can get the ball rolling. You can send your articles to:

    poposaurus@gmail.com

    What I am loking for is two or three talented and (more importantly) dedicated writers who have the time and motivation to pump out 2-3 new articles a week. If you have a particular affinity for one of the four "genres" I mentioned above, that is fine, so long as once in a while you can stretch a bit a write something in a different area. The more personality you can show in your writing, the better, though keep in mind I'd always prefer substance over style.

    I look forward to reading your submissions. And keep an eye on PopREX, as the new content will start flowing shortly! Spot out.

    5.07.2010

    Quote-osaurus: NBC Thursday Night Comedies, 5/6/10

    STUDY BREAK! I know I said I was on hiatusaurus (these dinosaur turns-of-phrase getting old yet?), but I figured I'd throw you all a bone to pick your teeth with in the meantime. So here are my favorite quotes from last night's NBC comedy lineup.

    Community- "Modern Warfare" (Spot's Pick: Maybe not the best quotables, but the cliche-happy action sequences and countless tongue-in-cheek nods to movies like Terminator 2, Scarface, Rambo, 28 Days Later and Hard Boiled make this the best episode of the night)

    Abed: To be blunt, Jeff and Britta are no Ross and Rachel. Your sexual tension and lack of chemistry are putting us all on edge, which is why, ironically--and hear this on every level--you are keeping us from being "FRIENDS."

    Jeff [before shooting the Chess Club with paintballs]: Checkmate, bitches...and tell the Drama Club their tears will be real today.

    Abed: Anyone need a pee break?
    Pierce: I'll stand guard. I'm wearing a diaper...for the game.
    Jeff: Oh yeah, "for the game."

    Britta: Oh my g-d, you've been hit.
    Jeff: What? Oh no! Oh wait, wait. It's blood. I thought it was paint but I'm just bleeding. Talk about luck, phew.

    Jeff [to Britta, about sleeping together]: Absolutely no need to mention it to anyone.
    Britta: Right, no big deal, nothing's changed. [They walk into the study room]
    Abed: ...something's changed.
    Jeff: Oh Abed, crazy Abed...
    Abed: No, something's different now.
    Pierce: It could be me. I'm sporting a man-thong.
    Abed: ...maybe.

    Parks and Recreation- "Telethon"

    Ron: I like a dog as much as the next guy, but this building does not allow animals. Andy, take him outside.
    Andy: And shoot him?!
    Ron: No, just take him outside.

    Mark: I'm going to ask [Anne] to marry me. I love her and...
    Leslie: Horesback! You should ask her on horseback. No, you should ask her in a hot air balloon. No, she should be in the balloon, and you ride up on horseback. Oh, wait. She's in the balloon, you ride up on horseback, point to the sky, and in skywriting it says "Marry me Anne." [...] Can you get five eagles? Get ten eagles!
    Mark: Leslie...
    Leslie: Right, it's your life. Get as many eagles as you want.

    Tom: Does Pawnee Local Access even have hair and makeup?
    Leslie: Well, they have a communal lipstick, and a box of combs.

    Tom: You know who would be the coolest celebrity to hang out with? Chris Angel. You'd be talking to him and then he'd like just burst into flames.

    Ron: I suffer from a condition. It's called Sleep Fighting.
    Leslie: Oh my, that must be terrible.
    Ron. Only when I'm losing.

    The Office- "The Cover-Up"

    Dwight: Stop it!
    Jim: Stop what?
    Dwight: You're talking about me in morse code. Well you know what? The joke's on you because I know morse code.
    Jim [sarcastically]: Yeah, that's what we're doing. In our very limited free time and on our very limited budget, we went and got a nanny, and then we went out and took a class on a very outmoded and very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.
    Jim [confessional to the camera, sincerely]: Yup, that's exactly what we did.

    Michael [confessional to the camera]: Things with Donna are going great. We are just clicking on every level. Emotionally. Sexually. Orally.

    Jim: Wow, it's a little too early for ice cream, don't you think?
    Michael: It's never too early for ice cream, Jim. But we didn't have any ice cream, so this is mayonaise and black olives.
    [Jim and Pam cry out in disgust]
    Michael: It's comfort food.

    Donna: I told you I like you.
    Michael: Well you...are bonerific.
    Donna: [laughs] Hey if I said we should go away for a couple of days you would...
    Michael: Poop my pants.
    Donna: Ever been to Vero Beach?
    Michael: Oh my g-d. Vero Beach? No. Is that on the water?

    30 Rock- "The Moms"

    Will Ferrell as "Bitch Hunter": Put the mimosas DOWN, bitch!

    Margaret Lemon: Oh yes, we met a few years ago when the girls were living together in Chicago.
    Verna Maroney: YOU MUST HAVE ME CONFUSED WITH SOMEONE ELSE. I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO CHICAGO. [Under her breath] I sexually assaulted Scotty Pippen in 1997.

    Jack: In the meantime, Kenneth here will, uh, entertain you.
    Colleen: Okay, Kenneth. "Entertain" me.
    Kenneth [singing and dancing]: Oooooh, the pickles in the creek, and the frog's in the kitchen. [Stops singing] I apologize ma'am, that is not a song. You make me very nervous.

    Verna: That's gonna be a problem for me. You see, I already spent that down payment on one half of my boob job. It's not an implant; it's just a little yank-up, you know. I mean I got the meat, Jack. Go ahead, feel them. Feel the difference.
    Jack: Very different indeed. Like a cantaloupe, and a zip-lock bag full of mushroom soup.

    Tracy: You are way beneath me, Novella. I am a movie star, a television actor, and a Guinness Book of World Record holder for most car accidents in a single year. [...]
    Novella: And do you think I want a fake son who recorded an anti-condom PSA?
    Tracy: I saved a lot of kids from lame sex!!

    Jenna: Tracy, this Mother's Day thing is a disaster.
    Tracy: I hear you! Because you are talking in an ear that I didn't lose a button in.

    4.25.2010

    Hiatusaurus: PopREX Takes a Break

    Dear Readers,

    First of all, thanks again for you continuing patronage. I would not have the drive to create new content for this blog if I thought it was going unnoticed and under-appreciated, so having such a great fanbase is a victory for both me and the quality of this blog.

    I have some bad news though. As some of you may know, The Spot is currently a law student. And with May just around the corner, that only means one thing: FINALS SEASON. While I'd much prefer to write articles for your enjoyment than study for exams, I simply have no choice. As such, I thought it best to inform you all that Poposaurus will be on hiatus until May 13th, the day of my last exam. Its only three weeks, and I promise that I will be back on the blogging bandwaggon once my semester reaches its end. Again, my sincerest apologies, and I hope that your interest in Poposaurus does not wane with the dearth of material in the coming weeks.

    Bloggingly Yours,
    The Spot

    4.21.2010

    Geek Alert! Marvel vs. Capcom 3 Confirmed!!

    Let's attempt a little exercise, shall we? Think of the two geekiest things you can imagine. The two things you associate the most with the nerd life style. Got them? More likely than not, the two things you came up with are video games and comic books. And what better for all the geeks out there (like me) than a means of bringing those to mythical mediums together? No, I'm not talking about a video game based on a comic book, or a comic book based on a video game, but instead a video game in which comic heroes go toe-to-toe with some of our favorite video game stars in a fight to the death. It's uber-nerdage meets uber-pwnage; a way to finally answer the eternal questions like "who would win in a fight: Mega Man or Iron Man" and "do you think Ryu's haduken fireball is stronger than Cyclops's optical blast?"

    And such is the beauty of the Marvel vs. Capcom series of video games. If you have ever stepped foot inside an arcade (or a Nathan's or Dave & Buster's or Jillian's), you have seen a MvC machine in action (most likely MvC2, the superior sequel). With a roster of over 50 combatants and game play like a hyper-evolved version of Street Fighter 2, MvC lets players craft teams of 3 fighters to pit against each other in combat. Fighters can be tagged in and out at will, and can team up to unleash some devastating special attacks. And now, 10 years after the release of MvC2, fans can finally rejoice: the long awaited third entry is on it's way, HD graphics and all. A final roster hasn't been released yet for MvC3, but based on the first trailer, we know that the game will feature Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Ryu (Street Fighter), Morrigan (Dalkstalkers), and newcomer Chris Redfield (Resident Evil). With the rest of the roster left open, all us gamer/comic fans are left to speculate what other new superheroes and video game stars will enter the ring to duke it out. So, I have chosen eight potential fighter (4 from the Marvel Universe, and 4 from the Capcom video game IPs) that I would love to see included in MvC3. [NOTE: I have chosen not to include any characters that have appeared in previous MvC titles. So while I of course want to see Gambit, Magneto, Psylocke, Mega Man, M. Bison, and Captain Commando all make return appearances, they aren't worth listing here as they have technically already made the cut].

    Marvel Universe

    Mr. Fantastic: How obscure Marvel characters like Blackheart, Shuma-Gorath, and Sprial made appearances in MvC2, and not a single member of the Fantastic Four got a slot is well beyond me. So to right this wrong, I'd love to see at least one of the Four get a bid. The Thing would be too much like the Hulk, the Human Torch is a little too obvious, and the Invisible Woman is just a push over (who wants to fight as an invisible character anyway?). So that leaves Reed Richards, better know as Mr. Fantastic. And with his super-stretchiness, Mr. Fantastic would be the perfect candidate for a flashy fighting game like MvC3. Not only could he punch and kick across the screen like Street Fighter's Dhalsim, but he could also transform his limbs into weapons like mallets and maces for extra melee damage or roll around like a boulder.

    Mandarin: One of Marvel's most powerful but oft-forgotten supervillains, Mandarin would be perfect for MvC3 for one reason and one reason alone: versatility. For those of you unfamiliar with the character, Mandarin's powers come from the ten rings he wears on his fingers. Each ring has a different power that Mandarin can use to tear apart his victims, including one that shoots fire, one that shoots ice, one that creates pitch blackness, and one that amplifies Mandarin's mental abilities and provides for mind reading and the creation of hallucinations. Clearly, each ring could be tied to its own different attack move. And for his finishing move? Well he'd use all the rings together for one powerful mega blast. And seeing as he is also well versed in martial arts, Mandarin would be no push over in melee combat either.

    Cannonball: Another more obscure Marvel character, Cannonball would be an extremely formidable opponent to fight against in MvC3. Originally a member of the New Mutants and later an X-Man, Cannonball has the unique ability to release large amounts of thermal energy around his body that he uses to propel himself through the air like a...cannonball. This allows him to travel at great speeds and crash into opponents for massive damage, which plays directly into one of the more creative aspects of the MvC series: aerial combat. MvC puts a large focus on "juggling combos," where players knock their enemy into the air and then continues pummel them in midair. Cannonball could pull off these moves effortlessly. Also, simple punches and kicks become devastating with his ability to detonate the area around his limbs.

    Green Goblin: I like a good balance of heroes and villains in my video games, so for the fourth slot I decided to pick another bad guy. And who better than the deranged Green Goblin. I prefer a depiction more akin to the Spider-Man comic books than the movie franchise personally. As a fighter, the Goblin would have a veritable never-ending bag of tricks: pumpkin bombs, the multi-functional Goblin Glider, and of course, his superhuman strength and agility. Goblin would be formidable both on the ground and in the air, summoning the Glider whenever he needs to take to the sky for aerial attacks. Plus, wouldn't it be nice to get a chance to beat that goofy grin off of his green face?

    Capcom Universe

    Sir Arthur: Much like Mr. Fantastic, I find it hard to believe that Sir Arthur from the Ghosts 'n Goblins series never appeared in MvC or MvC2. Truly one of Capcom's flagship characters, Arthur is all business. His games are punishingly difficult. His lance is sharp and ready to slay. His boxer shorts are...er...polka-dotted. And while his earlier arsenal may seem limited, if the Super Ghosts 'n Ghouls version is used, Arthur will have a whole slew of different magical weapons and attacks at his disposal. Perhaps in the same vein as Jill Valentine from MvC2, he could even summon a ghost, ghoul, or demon to come to his aid. Really, it may just be worth it to see those hysterical boxers again.

    Zero: Anyone who has played the Mega Man X games can attest to the fact that Zero is like 300 times cooler than Mega Man (regular or X-version). In any of those titles that let me choose between the blue bomber or his long-haired red comrade, I will without fail opt for the latter. You see, not only does Zero have an arm cannon like Mega Man (and in some depictions, a much stronger one), he also carries a light saber-esque beam sword. Clearly, this would grant Zero the ability to fight from both long range and up close. He could also use some of the weapons he utilizes in the Mega Man Zero series, such as the whip-like Triple Rod and the Shield Boomerang. And with that flowing mane of golden locks, he'd look damn-snazzy doing it.

    Mike Haggar: Haggar is probably the most recognizable Capcom character on this list. From the classic Final Fight series, Haggar is the mayor of the fictional Metro City, who takes the law into his own hands (well, fists) to clear out the members of the evil Mad Gear with his after they kidnap his daughter. Haggar's got some anger issues and a mighty upper-body. As such, any character, super-powered or not, would think twice about going toe-to-toe with him. Of course, Haggar would have his signature spinning fists attack, and would probably be a talented grappler. In this regard he may be too similar Zangief, the Russian combatant from the Street Fighter games, but if I had to choose one, I'd go with the American Haggar for his sheer bad-assery.

    Dante: With the shift from the PlayStation and N64 to the Xbox, PS2, and GameCube, game designers finally had the horse power to create some really flashy action games. And none were flashier than Devil May Cry and its sequels. DMC had some of the most stylized, visually pleasing action of any game of the generation. Accordingly, Dante, the series' protagonist, would be ideal for MvC3. His twin pistols, swords, and interchangeable fighting styles give him versatility. His ability to change into demon form gives him some potentially crazy special attacks. And his red trench coat, black boots, and white hair give him a fashionable flair that simply can't be matched. Here's hoping he wears a shirt under that trench coat, lest he be just a bit too flashy.
     

    4.19.2010

    Vote for Poposaurus in the Blogger's Choice Awards!

    Hooray!

    Poposaurus has been nominated (by someone...) in the Best Pop Culture Blog category of the 2010 Blogger's Choice Awards! If you like the content you see here, please follow the link below and vote for Poposaurus. For those of you who vote, Poposaurus will love you forever. For those of you who don't, well, let's just say you should start sleeping with the lights on. Here's the link:

    http://bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/92409

    Thanks,
    The Spot

    3,000 Hits!

    Gonna keep on tryin' till I reach the higher ground...

    4.18.2010

    Reader's Editorial , vol. 3: South Park's 200th Episode (by Ace)

    [The following article was submitted by one of our faithful readers: Ace. If you are interested in submitting your own article, click here for more information about our weekly reader's editorial. Enjoy!]
     
    Last Wednesday night at ten o’clock, just like it has for over ten years, South Park aired on Comedy Central. But this time, South Park aired their 200th episode, the fifth of the 14th season, and quite possibly one of the best episodes of the series. Since the beginning of the 14th season, Comedy Central, Trey Parker, and Matt Stone (the show’s creators, writers, and voices) have been making much ado about this episode. The pair divulged a few months ago that the 200th episode would revisit various celebrities that South Park had taken shots at, a mainstay of the show since its inception. I always felt that South Park as a social satire had really developed in the show’s later seasons, so this was apropos of their second centennial. I suppose this was the reason I was so blown away by the 200th episode, because it wasn’t just a show about the various celebrities it has taken shots at, but it was a colossal love letter to the show’s most hardcore fans, and for that I thank them.

    Before we get to what precisely made this one for the real fans, let’s talk for a minute about the celebrities. More and more frequently, South Park episodes focus on the absurdity of pop culture. For example, this season opened with an episode dedicated to recent celebrity sex scandals. But this is nothing new; from Kathy Lee Gifford to Mel Gibson to Britney Spears, nobody has been insulated from the Trey and Matt treatment. Of the hundreds of celebrities who made an appearance on the 200th episode, here are some of my favorites: Sally Struthers (absolutely loved her as Jabba the Hut in the Starvin Marvin in Space episode), Kanye West (seeing him in the green fishdicks suit was great), George Lucas (complete with Indiana Jones being raped), Hill-Dog (who, presumably, still has a snuke in her snizz), Russell Crowe (I’m glad he’s back and ready to fight some cancer), and plenty more. I also loved the inclusion of new celebrities, like Tim Burton, who according to Trey (and myself) hasn’t had an original thought since Beetlejuice and should just make love to Johnny Depp already. To be honest, however, I got a little tired of the Tom Cruise being a fudgepacker routine. We got it the first time you called him a fudgepacker, and that scene could have been trimmed down a bit.

    I also love that they tested Comedy Central yet again with the Muhammad issue, this time pointing out the hypocrisy of it all by referencing the Super Best Friends episode, in which Muhammad appeared. It’s almost like Trey and Matt were like, “Come on, it’s our 200th episode, you can’t say no this time! And we already showed him! Come on!” They were quick to point out the absurdity of the whole situation with lines like, “When it comes to Muhammad, Jesus doesn’t matter,” and displaying Buddha doing drugs, where Jesus’ only reprimand was not to do it in front of kids. So, we learned Muhammad in the back of a U-haul is fine, but walking around in knight’s armor isn’t. And speaking of the Super Best Friends, I loved the return of Moses, who I wish still required macaroni pictures.

    Okay, with all that out of the way, let’s talk about why I adored this episode. First and foremost, Mitch f-ing Connor. His brief cameo at the end of the already hilarious “Fat Butt and Pancake Head” is possibly one of my favorite moments in South Park history. Mitch Connor is the embodiment of Cartman’s insanity and criminal genius. When Cartman throws his voice, and starts talking about skipping towns as a con-man, I lose it. We all thought Connor bit the dust after he took that Cyanide pill with dramatic thoughts of whether or not he would dream (as Cartman waved his hand as if to shake himself of the possession). But I guess Trey and Matt got us, kind of.

    Second, the Gingers. I knew South Park was going on the offensive against the gingers all over again after they released a video poking fun of the “angry ginger kid” viral videos during the off-season. Previews for this season included a shot of Cartman in full ginger costume mimicking his ridiculousness. I’m not sure if that is going to be part of the second part of the episode, if that ever comes to be at all. Still, great to see the Gingers back at the Airport Hilton, plotting their takeover. Huzzah!

    Third, Mecha-Streisand. In an episode full of celebrity returns, it wouldn’t be complete without the return of Bar-bu-ra. This was relevant in two ways. Primarily, Streisand is perhaps the biggest foe of Matt and Trey. The original Mecha-Streisand episode was one of the first shots fired at Hollywood from South Park. Her name is even uttered in the South park movie as the worst curse word you could say, used to unleash Cartman’s V-chip fury and defeat Satan’s army. Also, the 5 story tall robot-zilla is used here as a demonstration of how far the show’s animation has come since its inception. Since Season 10, the show has looked absolutely phenomenal, and uses some serious computer technology that they don’t often get to show off. Here’s hoping we also see the return of Robert Smith from "The Cure" to once again help take down the mechanized beast.

    As for the actual story, the final two happenings of the episode were HUGE. First, Mr. Hat made his return to the show, paying homage to the show’s beginnings. I always wondered if Mr. Hat would find his way back to Garrison’s hand. I wanted Hat to return, not because I thought Mr. Hat was hilarious, frankly I think Garrison has become much funnier since he dropped Mr. Hat, but because it’s a nod to people who have watched every episode religiously. The fact the Mr. Hat and Mitch Connor did time together back in Saigon had me rolling.

    The granddaddy of them all, however, has to be regarding Eric Cartman’s father. All this time, we were led to believe that his mother was a hermaphrodite and was actually both his mother and his father. This is canonical, and the fact that they are brining this up is epic. I must have been close to 11 years old when my local cable network finally picked up Comedy Central. Before that, I was relegated to listening to .wav files of a very different sounding Cartman shouting that he was big boned, and not fat. “Cartman’s Mom is a Dirty Slut” was the first episode I ever saw, and from that moment I have been hooked. To go back and revisit that classic plot line is almost like Trey Parker saying, “thanks for watching, budday.”

    One big question remains: will there be a part two? Who knows. If I had to bet, I would say that next week would be a Terrence and Phillip episode, followed by part two to close the first part of the season (for all of you who don’t know, “Not Without My Anus”, a T and P episode, followed the original “Cartman’s Mom is a Dirty Slut” before airing the much anticipated conclusion). And who is it? I’d say either Dr. Mephisto, who hasn’t been seen in quite some time, Chef a.k.a. Darth Chef, playing into the Star Wars theme, or Gerald Broflovski. While Cartman does sort of resemble Mephisto, Gerald as Cartman’s father would make him Kyle’s brother, and Jewish (sort of), which would make for some hilarious moments. Still, I’m putting money on the return of Chef. Playing into the theme of celebrities returning, brining Chef back would allow Trey and Matt to make amends with the deceased Isaacs Hayes, who played Chef on the series for years before quitting after some artistic disagreements. Chef had always been the town’s voice of reason, and his return could save the town one more time. But really, in the end and in our hearts, we all know Cartman’s father was the 1989 Denver Broncos.

    4.16.2010

    HBO's Treme: Two Perspectives

    As some of you may know (and all of you should know), the new HBO show Treme, created by the same team who brought us The Wire, debuted last Sunday. Critics have been raving ever since (87% on Metacritic after 30 reviews), so I thought it was appropriate to give this important and impressive piece of television it's due respect here on Poposaurus. And in an attempt to really do the show justice, I have enlisted the help of a close friend of mine who is a native NOLA resident (and a talented wordsmith, if I do say so myself) to supplement the article with his own reactions to the show, which stand to be quite different from mine as I am a born-and-raised yankee. Below, you will find both of our reviews of Treme (first his, then mine). I think the similarities and differences between our reactions will prove rather interesting.

    Treme: A Careful Depiction of the City Care Forgot
    By FatFat McWhoDat

    As a born and raised native son to New Orleans, words fail to describe the complexity of emotions I feel when considering Katrina and the months thereafter. The water line in my home was only a few feet above the floor; nevertheless my family lost half of our house to mold. Therefore, the period of time in which HBO's new series Treme begins isn't exactly a favorite memory for myself or anyone affected by Katrina. At the very least, its a difficult topic to discuss and even more painful to see played out on screen.  However, Treme approaches the subject with poignancy and deft, exploring the melancholic subjects of mass destruction, civic tragedy and personal loss with enough respect as to incite interested conversation instead of grief.  Moreover, the show provides an overwhelmingly accurate slice-of-life portrayal of New Orleans culture through the eyes of its inhabitants. Treme's attempt to capture the essence of daily life in New Orleans is undoubtedly the most authentic representation achieved through mass media in recent memory.

    Treme certainly hit upon a few phrases one would hear everywhere in New Orleans after the flood: "how's your house?," "how much water did yall get?" and one that always had more gravity for myself: "drop you where exactly?" All of these questions sought deep, complicated responses, and one of the characters responded in typical fashion, suited perfectly with the right blend of anger and courtesy to steer the conversation elsewhere, "don't ask me about my f*ing house." Although bits of the show seemed contrived, fetishized New Orleans catchphrases- perhaps of the canon Steve Zahn refers to- i.e., "Red beans and rice? and it aint even monday!" Wendall Pierce's surprised interjection is something you'd never hear down here. You'd also never see a Mardi Gras Indian walking alone in the middle of the night 3 months after Katrina, for two reasons at least: he wouldn't be able to put the suit on without help and the national guard would have arrested him on the spot for violating curfew. However, the scene made for some beautiful imagery, didn't it?

    While it'd be easy to sit here from my balcony on Constantinople Street, listening to the St. Charles streetcar rumbling down the avenue on a pristine spring morning and chastise the mundane, misplaced elements of Vaughn's (The Abita Jockomo IPA Sign, for instance), I'd much rather instruct y'all as to what Treme got right, or as close to right as anyone could expect. For all of its music, nothing pleased me more than seeing Rebirth Brass Band playing "I feel like funkin it up" with second line revelers dancing on cars, buying beer from coolers, singing along under the overpass at North Claiborne and I-10, and enjoying life in whatever manner suited them best at that single moment. This scene was a true masterpiece, not only in the technicality of its production, but also in the accuracy with which it depicts the New Orleans Second Line tradition. Second Lines are singularly amazing elements of New Orleans culture, and I urge everyone to experience one. Furthermore, Kermit Ruffins is a real New Orleans trumpet player, who has really been playing here for decades and he really does have WHO DAT tattooed on his chest. His music is spectacular, and I saw him perform last weekend at French Quarter Fest. When Steve Zahn says, "America needs it some Kermit," he's 100% right. This guy should be nationally regarded as a world-class musician. Lastly on Kermit, he really is high all the time and loves to bbq.

    Finally, I'd like to discuss my favorite character on the show, played my New Orleans local John Goodman. His rant about "a federal F up of epic proportions" is par for the course down here. Outside of New Orleans and the Gulf South, people know the events of late August and September 2005 as "Katrina." But when you're down here, it's called "Katrina and the Federal Flood." I could write books talking about this one (I've already done a research paper in college), but I'll try to keep my thoughts here short and to the point. John Goodman is based off of Ashley Morris, a Tulane Professor and blogger who became a pop culture figure head with his incredibly defiant works about the aftermath of Katrina. John Goodman's explanation about what happened during Katrina and who is responsible for those events, he was almost speaking verbatim what Ashley Morris wrote years ago, and what New Orleanians in general hold to be true- (not because we were the victims and need someone to blame, but because we saw this coming decades ago after Betsy in 1965 and this is where I stop myself to keep from writing too much).

    In conclusion: Yes, Treme is pretty much as good as it gets when putting New Orleans on TV, but no its not perfect. In the tradition of The Wire, the show's novelistic approach will allow complex plot lines to unfold throughout the season, aided by a group of stellar actors and scenes authentic enough that you should believe them to be true. However a single fact remains when trying to express the Jewel of the South in any medium of art: The only way to experience New Orleans is to come down for yourselves and see what we're all about. Jazzfest is only 2 weeks away, and guess what: You're all invited.

    An Outsider's Take on HBO's Treme
    By The Spot

    Going into HBO's Treme, I was equal parts excited and wary. I was excited because I had recently started watching The Wire for the first time, and after discovering what an amazing show that was, I was happy to have the chance to start from the beginning with a new show by the same talented team. I was wary, however, because I knew that there was a strong chance that my yankee blood would remove me so far from the subject matter that I simply wouldn't be able to relate on a level that would allow me to properly enjoy the show. You see, before the show's announcement, I had never heard of the area of NOLA known as Treme. In fact, up until the day before the show aired, I didn't even know how to pronounce it (which I discovered in a rather embarrassing moment; apparently, it's French). And when I sat down to watch the series premiere, I felt a lot like an outsider looking in, much like the geek who gets paired with the three jocks to work on a group project in English class. And while my fears ended up being justified and I didn't quite wrap my head around everything I was seeing, I was still able to enjoy Treme for the marvelous show that it is.

    In truth, if you didn't grow up in NOLA and/or aren't very familiar with the music, culture, and history of the city, some things are bound to go over your head. For example, most likely, you wont recognize all of the featured musicians, you wont appreciate the significance of the songs being played, you wont really understand the importance of the "Second Lines," and you definitely wont know what a Mardis Gras Indian is. But let me make one thing very clear: while being familiar with all of these different things may bolster your overall enjoyment of Treme, there is still a lot to like about the show even if you are unfamiliar (like yours truly). Most importantly, as is to be expected from the creators of The Wire, the characters and their dialogue are truly fantastic. Everything has a gritty realism to it that is lost in many other shows. The characters speak exactly as their real world counterparts do. They don't always say exactly what they are thinking or describe what they see going on around them to push the story along, but instead converse just like real people do. As such, the characterization in Treme is absolutely top notch, as the viewer learns who each individual character is by simply watching them be themselves, instead of through clunky exposition dialogue.

    Of course, any show attempting to capture the emotional trauma suffered by victims of Hurricane Katrina must walk a fine line between realistic emotion and melodrama. Luckily, Treme hits the nail on the head in this department (at least, in my opinion). While it is clear that every character has been effected in a large way by the flooding (Ladonna's lost brother, Batiste's financial woes, Albert's trouble rebuilding his home, Janette's difficulty keeping her restaurant afloat), the show never depicts them as run-down, broken spirits. It is this strong will that makes them all so endearing and relatable, even to someone like me who is unfamiliar with what exactly they are going through. That is not to say that Treme does not have its fair share of emotional moments. The first time Albert steps into his old home is an emotional moment I remember particularly well, as is Creighton's interview with the British press. In short, Treme strikes a great emotional balance, showing just enough drama without beating the viewer over the head with it.

    Adding to the show's realism is its implementation of music. In the series premiere, every single bit of music heard by the viewer was happening in real time around the characters. In other words, short of one brief montage moment, the audience is hearing the music exactly as the characters onscreen are, whether it is being performed by one of the many featured musicians or it is trickling out of a radio in the background. It is an effective method that further submerges the viewer into the realistic world created by Treme. Also, there are a lot of moment during the show where helicopters can be heard in the background; another nice realistic touch which I appreciated as a constant reminder of the tragedy surrounding the onscreen action.

    If I could register one complaint against Treme, it is that, so far, there hasn't really been a lot of plot development. I know, it's only been one episode, and here's hoping that this changes in the coming episodes, but not a lot "happened" in the first episode. A good show is one that leaves you on the edge of your seat for the next episode, thinking to yourself, "I can't wait to see what happens to X," and, "I wonder where Y went and if Z is going to find out." The Wire was notorious for leaving viewers cringing for relief in the periods between episodes, and after the first episode of Treme, I am intrigued, but I am not enveloped by the potential of next week's installments. In truth, such a complaint is hard to validate seeing as how we are only one episode deep, but I sincerely hope that Treme develops some gripping story lines to compliment its fantastic characters or I may find my interest waning in the coming weeks.

    But regardless of this gripe, and regardless of my unfamiliarity with a lot of the subject matter and many of the references, I still enjoyed Treme for what it is to me: great television. And while I can't attest to whether it is particularly authentic or faithful to NOLA residents, I can assure you that it is a fantastically scripted and acted TV show with some of the most realistic characters you'll find on the small screen today.

    4.12.2010

    NEWS FLASH: A New Home for Coco


    Attention all Conan fans! The Jolly Red Giant has finally found a place for his late night talk show! TBS has offered Conan the 11pm time slot in the their weekday lineup, pushing back George Lopez's late show to the midnight spot. However, because Conan would not go down the same path that's Leno did, he refused to accept the deal until Lopez himself called Conan and offered him the spot (apparently, George was pretty keen on the idea of having Conan as a lead-in. I agree). A true gentleman and a scholar. Conan's new show is slated to start in November, will run for one hour, and will air Monday-Thursday (one day less than Letterman and Leno's shows). For more information about the deal, see the links below:

    http://tv.ign.com/articles/108/1083096p1.html
    http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN1224691820100412
    http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2010/04/12/conan-obrien-heads-to-tbs/
    http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/12/conan-obrien-will-do-a-late-night-show-on-tbs/?src=busln

    4.11.2010

    May-flowers: the Five Movies to See in the Month of May

    So it has come to my attention that, out of all the topics we cover on this blog, we have a severe dearth of content about movies, perhaps the most influential and artistic piece of the pop culture. I think this is because theaters are just so damn expensive these days. The last movie I saw in theaters was How to Train your Dragon, and the entire experience, including the ticket price and food (because let's be honest, anyone who sees a movie without simultaneously stuffing their faces is doing it all wrong), was definitely upwards of $40. $40 for 2-3 hours of entertainment? Pretty steep if you ask me, especially considering that with most cable plans, for around $100 a month, you can get an unlimited amount of television to watch (well, 720 hours of it if you watch for 24 every day for 30 days). Sure, you can argue that you aren't really watching a movie unless you're in the theater with the huge screen and booming surround sound (and, nowadays, the 3D glasses). But I simply can't afford to go often enough to see all the flicks the pique my interest.

    However, with the summer months coming, there are a lot of high profile flicks getting me excited to get back to the screening rooms. April has some heavy hitters, including Clash of the Titans, Date Night, and Kick-Ass, which are on my radar. But it's the month of May when things really get rolling. As such, I've decided to pick the five movies coming out in the month of May that have me really excited and are poised to impress critics and fans alike. So pop some popcorn, tear open some Milk Duds, splurge for the large soda (it's only 25 cents more, after all), and prepare yourself for a look into the near-future of cinema.

    Iron Man 2 (May 7th): So let's get one thing straight. If you have yet to see the first Iron Man, you are stupid. Not mistaken, not misinformed; if you still haven't seen Iron Man, you are, with out a doubt, dumber than every single person who has. Ok, maybe not. But regardless of whether you are familiar with the comic book or not, Iron Man was a fantastic movie featuring one of Robert Downey Jr.'s most natural and lovable performances. And the sequel is set to be everything the first movie was and more. With Tony Stark out of the Iron  Man closet, he stands to face heat from all angles. The military will be pressuring him to turn over the Iron Man armor for mass production, while new villains Whiplash (played by the terrifying to look at Mickey Rourke) and industry competitor Justin Hammer will seek to crush the hot headed Stark into scrap metal. Luckily, he'll have some help, as recent trailers show Iron Man fighting alongside long-time buddy Jame Rhodes who will be donning some armor as War Machine. Major babe power will be present as well, with Gwyneth Paltrow reprising her role as Pepper Potts and always sexy Scarlett Johansson starring as S.H.I.E.L.D. super-spy Black Widow. Needless to say, this will be one wild ride not worth missing.


    Robin Hood (May 14th): Take 1 part Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1996) and 2 parts Gladiator, multiply them and divide by Mel Brooks' Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and you have a pretty good idea of what this new take on an old medieval legend will be like when it hits the big screen. Directed by Ridley Scott and starring Russel Crowe, Robin Hood stands to be the newest entry in a long line of successes this pair has had working together, including the aforementioned Gladiator, as well as Body of Lies and American Gangster. The story is familiar: Robin, after returning home from the Crusades, finds that England is facing incredible amount of tyranny and oppression at the hands of King John and his Sheriff of Nottingham. However, Crowe's Robin stands to be a much gruffer, militant leader than usually depicted, who uses intelligence and strategy over charm and wit to thwart his enemies. I have a few concerns, though. The first is that Cate Blanchett will be paying Robin's love interest Lady Marian. While a great actress and beautiful in her own right, I fear I may find myself longing for the (then) younger and much bustier Amy Yasbeck from Men in Tights. Also, this film started development as a new take on the legend, depicting a heroic Nottingham played by Crowe. This premise was dropped after Crowe dissented, which may mean this film ends up a bit disjointed and quick-scripted. Regardless, this new Robin Hood should be a gritty, action-packed romp through medieval England that will hopefully please fans of both Gladiator and the Robin Hood mythos.

    MacGruber (May 21st): MacGruber! Pepsi pepsi pepsi pepsi pepsi pepsi pepsi! MacGruber! Pepsi pepsi pepsi! MacGruber!! Yes, well, for those of you who don't know, MacGruber is a character from an oft-recurring skit on SNL as well as those hilarious Pepsi commercials that ran during the Super Bowl. And in May, Will Forte will be donning his mullet wig once more to reprise the character on the big screen. Now, we all know that SNL-to-movie translations are extremely hit-or-miss (compare Wayne's World and Austin Powers with Corky Romano and Coneheads to get a good idea of what I mean). But the early buzz surrounding MacGruber is that it is actually pretty darn funny (rocking a solid 100% on Rotten Tomatoes after 6 reviews). Not only will Kristen Wiig be reprising her role from the show, but they will be joined by Ryan Phillippe, who will play MacGruber's straight-laced new partner. But the icing on the cake comes in the form of Val Kilmer as the humorous villain Dieter Von Cunth (apparently, the H is silent). While I'm sure the film pulls more than its fair share of punches, as long as it delivers a brand of ludicrous action-comedy similar to the first Austing Powers, I will be a happy little theater-goer

    Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time (May 28th): Video game movie adaptations are generally not the best films. Actually, they pretty much all suck. Big time. From Street Fighter to Mortal Kombat to Super Mario Bros. to Hitman to Max Payne and even the Resident Evil series (which has somehow seen two sequels with one more currently in production), no movie based on a video game has been able to capture the true magic and spirit of the strong source material. However, this all is (hopefully) about to change with the release of Prince of Persia. First of all, this is the first video game adaptation to proceed with direct influence from the game's original designer (here, Ubisoft's Jordan Mechner). Second, the film has some very legitimate actors behind the wheel, including Jake Gyllenhaal as the titular prince, Sir Ben Kingsley as the villainous Nizam, and Alfred Molina as the Prince's mentor Sheik Amar. Third, the storyline is pulled straight out of what is without a doubt the best game in the Prince of Persia series: the identically titled Sands of Time (92% on Metacritic). Finally, this ain't no low budge affair, but instead a huge Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney project in the same vane as the Pirates of the Caribbean films. Needless to say, as a movie enthusiast, I am excited, and as a video game nerd, I am nearly foaming at the mouth.

    Get Him to the Greek (June 4th): If you are like me, you absolutely, positively, 100% fell in love with Forgetting Sarah Marshall the first time you saw it, and hold that movie in higher regard than any other Judd Apatow flick. And now, perhaps the funniest character in that movie--the completely absurd Aldous Snow (played by British comedian Russell Brand)--is back and crazier than ever in Get Him to the Greek. Jonah Hill plays a young intern at a record company who is tasked with transporting Snow safely and soundly to a performance at the Greek Theater in LA. Of course, with Snow's constant sexual debauchery and rock-and-roll lifestyle, this is no simple task, and many funny and vulgar road blocks stand in the way. But as funny as this premise is on its own, the early buzz surrounding the flick is about Sean "Diddy" Comb's character Sergio Roma, a high powered record executive who, apparently, is absolutely hilarious. Plus, with the same director as Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Nicholas Stoller), what can really go wrong? [Ok, so this isn't technically a "May-flower," but it's pretty darn close and I think it's definitely worth your time, so get over it. ;)]

    Honorable Mentions:
    -Shrek Forever After (May 21st)
    -Babies (May 7th)